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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Table 8 CF

132 replies

HappyDays40 · 12/04/2022 13:53

Just stopped at Morrisons for a cheese toastie and sat down at table 8. A very unremarkable table not near a window or any interesting features of note. Sat happily drinking my brew waiting for my cheese toastie listening to a Podcast when CF lady walks over.
CF: error scuse me but I always sit here.
Me: Huh
CF: Yeh everyday at this time.
Me: okay well I was here first so....
CF: Are you gonna move.
Me: Errm now let me think ....... no.
Put my ear phones back in while she starts blethering on about the table. She even sort of place marked the table by placing two fingers on it.
I just keep shrugging pointing at other free tables and saying " sorry can't hear you". She slams he tray down on the next table and then sits there aaaaaallllll through eating staring and sort of making grouchy noises. WTAF can't stop giggling now but I didn't give her so much as a sideways glance brazened it out to the end then drank my tea slowly 😏. If ou fancy, leave an entitled CF story here they are never boring!

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 12/04/2022 14:59

I'd assume that they were Neuro diverse and moved tbh. I doubt that they were just CF and I wouldn't giggle at another person's distress.

queenMab99 · 12/04/2022 15:07

I have jyst been a CF today, I was driving along past some vans and cars which I presumed were parked, until I reached temporary traffic lights, which was why they were stopped(not parked) I thought I must have missed seeing the road works signs, but on my return journey, I checked and there were no signs. I felt the eyes of the driver of the first van in the queue boring into the back of my head for the next hundred yards until I turned off the road.

namechangeranonymouse · 12/04/2022 15:07

Must be something about Morrisons. I got in the queue at one of the checkouts and some woman who'd been hovering between my checkout and the one next to me told me the queue was behind her. Like an idiot I went and stood behind her and let her take the next available till. Doesn't bloody work like that in a supermarket. You stand in a queue for one till.

SpringsSprung · 12/04/2022 15:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

WonderfulYou · 12/04/2022 15:09

She definitely sounds like she has some sort of MH or SEND but you were right not to move.

SpringsSprung · 12/04/2022 15:09

@Curlygirl06

I was queuing behind a lady who was older than me (I'm 61, that should please everyone!) who had about half a dozen things. She suddenly left the queue and went over to another till that was opening at the other end of the shop. However by the time she got there, two trolley loads had turned up. She stood there and huffed for a while, then came back to my queue and pushed in front of me. I politely said I'm next in the queue and had unpacked my shopping already, but she said in a most indignant tone that she'd been on our queue before me and should be allowed back in to her place. I'm perfectly happy to let anyone through with a few bits before me but my inner mumsnetter came to the fore and I said no, as she had left the queue once so no. (And she was bloody entitled) If she'd asked nicely I'd have said yes, so she queued behind me shooting daggers at me and huffing.
See, I find that really mean of you. Especially as she was elderly
BobHadBitchTits · 12/04/2022 15:10

@RedWreck

I very graciously told her to go ahead with a smile, she was quite cross, I think she had an argument prepared & didn't get a chance to use it! She was quite rude to the counter staff who'd seen the whole thing too.
I love it when you can tell someone has geared themselves up for an argument and you just don't entertain it.
SpringsSprung · 12/04/2022 15:11

@MrsRobinsonsHandprints

I am about as anti be kind as possible, but in a situation as you describe you are not some hero standing up against an entitled cf. I would have moved, if their life was such that they needed to sit at a unremarkable table then the effort of me moving to one of the empties would be worth it.

That's not being walked over that's being decent.

Are you joking? That's not being decent that's enabling CF behaviour and this type of nonsense is precisely WHY we have CFs. Because people let them get away with it.
SpringsSprung · 12/04/2022 15:12

@Ponoka7

I'd assume that they were Neuro diverse and moved tbh. I doubt that they were just CF and I wouldn't giggle at another person's distress.
Quite a presumption to make! I have a child with autism and I can assure you she doesn't behave like this!
chesirecat99 · 12/04/2022 15:15

@incognitoforthisone

Was it possibly someone who is autistic? Who cant manage change? Who needs routine in their life?

Well, that's possible, but the much more likely explanation would be that they're simply a twat.

Really?

Given that OP has said that there was nothing special about the table and there were plenty of tables free, I doubt even the cheekiest of CFs would care that much where they sat unless they have some kind of disability that means they have a compulsion to sit in the same place daily.

I'm not sure that I would feel so pleased with myself knowing that there is a good chance I caused someone anxiety by refusing to move. It would hardly have been any trouble for OP to swap tables. What happened to being kind?

TibetanTerrah · 12/04/2022 15:15

@SpringsSprung then she should have asked, not just assumed she could push in front when the PP had already unloaded her shopping.

Its amazing that CFs expect strangers to be polite and accommodating when they usually have a face like a slapped arse themselves and are demanding and entitled.

Its also amazing the amount of posters here think you should #bekind when the CF is clearly following the philosophy of #berude

Thornrose · 12/04/2022 15:17

Maybe but Autistic or not, the world does not revolve around them and they need to learn coping mechanisms for that fact

Nice...Hmm

Hoowhoowho · 12/04/2022 15:19

I’d have assumed additional needs and moved. Pushing in a queue etc, yes that’s entitled behaviour and sure stand up for yourself.

Having to sit at the same table everyday at the same time suggests strongly additional needs and the lack of nice communication would add to that impression, I think you behaved badly here.

By moving, at worst you enabled a CF but more likely you made someone whose life already is more challenging than average easier.

Diplidocus4 · 12/04/2022 15:20

Are the cheese toasties good ?

TiddleyWink · 12/04/2022 15:27

I agree with PPs that it’s highly unlikely this person was neurotypical, or was perhaps suffering with their mental health. It’s not the typical CF behaviour really, more something so outside of social norms that I would assume the person was probably not well. By all means politely refuse to move but making a sneery thread on MN and calling her a CF wouldn’t occur to me to be honest.

takingmytimeonmyride · 12/04/2022 15:28

I'm autistic too, and so are two of my sons. Although I have my favourite places to sit on buses or trains, in cafes, and to park my car, I'm not so rigid that I expect other people not to be in them if they're free. I may moan jokingly about people being in my spot to whoever is with me (especially my regular car parks as I always then forget where I've parked if it's in a different place) but id never say anything to whoever was rightfully there.

And i teach my sons the same.

Gah! I miss Morrisons cafe though. Our local Morrisons closed down a couple of years ago. Sad

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 12/04/2022 15:28

Bingo!

Older - check
Autistic - check
MH issues - check
You should have just moved cos it wouldn't have cost you anything - check

Nope. Nobody has to live like that. Always assuming that they need to move over, make adjustments, for everyone else in the world.

Be mindful by all means. But actively put yourself, your own needs, at the bottom of the world's pecking order, each day, every day?

Nope!

1000yellowdaisies · 12/04/2022 15:35

@Ponoka7

I'd assume that they were Neuro diverse and moved tbh. I doubt that they were just CF and I wouldn't giggle at another person's distress.
And why would you make that assumption? I'm pretty sure there are more entitled fucking idiots in the world than people with that level of neuro diversity. And no where does op say that the person was distressed. There are some people who go through life believing their own wishes and comfort should take priority and they feel entitled to try and turf a person sitting and eating out of a seat just because they want it. .... it doesn't always have to be explained away by a diagnosis
Lemonlady22 · 12/04/2022 15:35

I live in a detached house, 1930s, boundary is the wall on the side of my house. CF ndn called out 'can I show you my extension plans' , so I looked thought bit weird...then he tells me that he wants to join it to the side of my house, 'will be better for me'...no idea how. I said ' NO we are detached and don't want you building onto us' . Apparently I'm unreasonable. CF even sent his builder for a chat! Didn't happen, we no longer speak. Stupid twunt !

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 12/04/2022 15:36

It doesn't matter what another person with or without a MH issue or ND would have done or been able to do. This person wanted to sit at a unremarkable table. If it was the best view or the only one left then yes they are almost certainly a cf , but to want to sit at a unremarkable one?

This isn't standing up to a cf, this is crowing and expecting praise for standing up to someone who has issues.
So big clap op, hope you feel BIG and PROUD, you 'taught them that they needed to learn a coping mechanism' it's not 'enabling cf behaviour' it's being decent.

incognitoforthisone · 12/04/2022 15:36

What happened to being kind?

As someone who is a) neurodiverse and b) has a mental health condition, I'm afraid I take exception to the idea that these things are the default explanation for the kind of rudeness described the OP.

Contrary to Mumsnet's apparent belief, most of us who function with weirdly wired brain are absolutely no more likely to behave like an arsehole than people who are neurotypical.

Mummy1608 · 12/04/2022 15:36

This is a funny one because I'm also as anti-be-kind as they come but I also wouldn't call this CF. Was the table nicer because by the window or had the comfiest chairs etc? If there was no universal reason why that table was best, it's not exactly CFery. Just plain weirdo territory. I would have raised eyebrows and moved, probably have a chuckle afterwards.

It's not the same as queue jumping because queues are annoying for everyone. But if there were other similar tables free, but they had to be on table 8... they just have a weird fixation and yeah, I'd have moved

StrangeCondition · 12/04/2022 15:36

@Hoowhoowho

I’d have assumed additional needs and moved. Pushing in a queue etc, yes that’s entitled behaviour and sure stand up for yourself.

Having to sit at the same table everyday at the same time suggests strongly additional needs and the lack of nice communication would add to that impression, I think you behaved badly here.

By moving, at worst you enabled a CF but more likely you made someone whose life already is more challenging than average easier.

or as previously stated, the CF could have just been a twat
Chikapu · 12/04/2022 15:37

In your shoes OP, I would have moved and offered to pay for whatever she was having then I'd have taken her round Morrisons and paid for her shopping and given her a lift home, unpacked her stuff then made her a lovely cup of tea before leaving.
You were very rude Wink

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 12/04/2022 15:38

Why do I assume issues, because of op post, it's a unremarkable table amongst loads of empty ones.

CF: error scuse me but I always sit here.
Me: Huh
CF: Yeh everyday at this time.
Me: okay well I was here first so....
CF: Are you gonna move.

Lemonlady has a post about a cf.