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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not buy their house out of principle?

142 replies

ReeMee · 12/04/2022 12:18

Help me decide what to do?!

In Jan we had an offer accepted on a house. Estate agent told us there was loads of competition and as we’d lost houses in best and final before we ended up bidding 20k over asking. We got it but only because apparently we had sold to first time buyers and the other bidders had longer chains.

House survey was shocking but I know surveys read like horror scripts and we knew from viewing that there would be work needed. When I liaised with estate agent about getting specialists in to quote for work they told me, the vendor has other cash buyers lined up, she will not be taking money off (it’s a probate sale for her parents). Thinking that was our plan. It genuinely wasn’t, we just needed to know the extent of any issues and costs, the house is 500k so not cheap!!

Then on the day of exchange our buyers pulled out. Estate agent/vendor would not wait for us to resell, they put it back on the market that afternoon and have since redone the photos so some of the issues we had been looking at (damp, some cracks) have been covered up with mirrors and pictures (in an empty house!)

2 weeks later we have now resold and the house we were buying is still on the market. I actually rang the estate agents to enquire about it (not telling them who I was) and they said the vendor had had some offers but was looking for close to asking price!! WTF? Now she will accept an offer 20k lower than what we were paying. The cash buyers were clearly a tool to get us paying more and not renegotiating.

I do still love the house (damp and cracks aside) although I think we were overpaying a bit but had come to terms with it not being ours and come to terms with the financial loss (£900ish). I am waiting for the estate agent to phone me once they see our house is SSTC again but I don’t know what to do.

I want to tell them where to go tbh but is that a mistake?

OP posts:

MangoBiscuit · 12/04/2022 12:21

Could you put in an offer at the lower amount?

MatildaTheCat · 12/04/2022 12:21

It still sounds like a house with a LOT of issues. If offer a good lot under the asking price if you want it.

Forget their previous behaviour, house selling is a brutal business.

horseyhorsey17 · 12/04/2022 12:22

I'd offer at the lower amount. Don't be ripped off £20K for no reason.

MrsWinters · 12/04/2022 12:25

Cutting of your nose to spite your face. If you like it and want it I would wait until yours is a little further along and reach out to the estate agent and say you are aware it is back on the market and hasn’t had an offer, and would still like to proceed at £10k under asking price or whatever. I would say that you phoned in and the agent you spoke to said they were looking for close to asking price, and not offers over- so you’ll proceed but not on the original offer-particularly as they didnt show any goodwill in waiting for you.

ChiswickFlo · 12/04/2022 12:25

Sounds like a lucky escape tbh

NiceTwin · 12/04/2022 12:25

Nope, I wouldn't do business with them but I am a stubborn old goat.
I am also a complete pessimist and would think something better would come along.

ChicCroissant · 12/04/2022 12:25

The cash buyers have probably bought somewhere else by now, it was three months ago which is the timeframe for most sales. I don't know why you've jumped to 'they didn't exist' straight away.

If you want the house, bid for it.

Williamshatnershorses · 12/04/2022 12:27

Put the emotion aside - is it the house for you? If it is, then it’s worth one more try. You go back with a slightly lower offer an tell the estate agent it’s based on what they clearly told you the vendor was hoping to achieve. You could also point out that they are clearly trying to cover up some of the things from the survey in the new photos but since you know what’s what, you’re happy to pay the price you are offering, unlike other potential buyers who might want a reduction once their survey unearth’s what’s behind the strategically placed mirrors and pictures.

If they take your offer - great. If they dick you around again, move on.

Housetreecar · 12/04/2022 12:27

Well if you want it but it, if you can live without it then don’t. To be fair it’s only you who will lose out

BuanoKubiamVej · 12/04/2022 12:31

Put in an offer £25k lower than your previous offer. They have no obligation to accept it and you have no obligation go with your previous offer. The value of any house is only ever what a willing buyer is prepared to give to a willing seller who accepts that sum. Any other theoretical numbers are not the real value. So both of you need to be ok with walking away if you can't do a deal.

FOJN · 12/04/2022 12:31

I wouldn't cut my nose off to spite my face but I would drive a hard bargain. If you still want the house I'd offer under asking price but I wouldn't stop looking at other houses. In fact I'd be tempted to play the estate agent at their own game and express an interest in other houses they've got on their books, I might even ask about arranging veiwings whilst the vendors consider your offer.

I'd keep in mind you do have the upper hand here. The vendors willingness to compromise on price now means they are well aware that other buyers will find the same problems with the house and if the price doesn't reflect the amount of work to be done they will find it hard to sell.

TheSnowyOwl · 12/04/2022 12:35

I’d put in an offer of either asking price or below but not above.

LoveSpringDaffs · 12/04/2022 12:35

You're the one who let them down, you pulled out of the deal, not them (fair enough with your buyers pulling out) but it wasn't their doing, so I'm not sure why you are in such a strop with them???

Weird to assume there weren't other cash buyers when you offered, then weeks later when you pulled out they'd bought other properties?!?!

Honestly, it's all just noise.

Decide if you want the house.
Decide how much you're prepared to pay.

It's not rocket science nor is it a relationship, it's buying a building.

CarmenThePanda · 12/04/2022 12:37

If you want the house, make a new offer.

Don’t get involved in sulky, flouncy, indignant emotions. It is a financial transaction.

anniegun · 12/04/2022 12:40

Put in an offer you feel comfortable with for what you will be getting. If they don't accept walk away. Try and take the emotion out of this. There is nothing wrong with them trying to get as high a price as possible. Who knows if there were other buyers or not

sleepymum50 · 12/04/2022 12:41

No I’d see it as a fab opportunity to get the house for £20k cheaper.

Your bad luck (your buyers pulling out) has just turned into good luck.

LemonSqueezy0 · 12/04/2022 12:44

Have you ever purchased a house before? It's a tough business... Your story doesn't particularly show them in a poor light - they had offers on the table, accepted yours, proceeded with you, YOU pulled out and their house is now back on the market... You seem extremely annoyed with them for some reason I'm not quite clear on...

If the house is still the one you want, go for it.

AllotmentTime · 12/04/2022 12:47

I’d offer a bit below asking price with a view to negotiating to pay the full asking price if they insist.

But I would make clear at the outset that as you know there are issues, you want specialists to be permitted to come in so you know what you’re buying.

Be unemotional and be prepared to walk away!

Original poster

ReeMee · 12/04/2022 12:50

Yes I’ve purchased houses before. The story is written from an emotive place, I get that. No one did anything wrong but surely you can get why I feel as I do?!

I have also had buyers who’s sales have fallen through and I have given them a short period of time to resell, as I know that they had expended money on my house.

In their position, given it’s probate and we would sell again quickly I would have definitely waited for us.

OP posts:

CarmenThePanda · 12/04/2022 12:52

They didn’t do wrong by putting it back on the market.

Have your new buyers got a chain?

Butchyrestingface · 12/04/2022 12:52

Then on the day of exchange our buyers pulled out. Estate agent/vendor would not wait for us to resell, they put it back on the market that afternoon

Do you think there’s something WRONG in that, like?

Butchyrestingface · 12/04/2022 12:53

No one did anything wrong but surely you can get why I feel as I do?!

Not really, no. Soz. 🤷‍♀️

Not saying I’d buy it though.

BlueOverYellow · 12/04/2022 12:54

Put in a new, lower offer. You're starting from scratch AND you already know what the issues are because you've already done the surveys.

If they say no, move on, don't negotiate.

Unsure33 · 12/04/2022 12:58

but they had no idea how long they would have to wait - and perhaps some family members were putting pressure on the get their money and they cant afford to put the problems right .

just balance up how much you want the house - offer the lower amount if you do - but make it very clear thats your final offer .

Original poster

ReeMee · 12/04/2022 12:59

I forgot AIBU was such a bitchy place? Some people just love an argument don’t they? I only wanted to ask for advice on what to do.

Thanks for those who have told me their opinions without being unkind. I have lots to think about!

It feels like maybe this was meant to be and it’s not meant to be our house.

OP posts:

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