AIBU to not buy their house out of principle?

[ReeMee]

Help me decide what to do?!

In Jan we had an offer accepted on a house. Estate agent told us there was loads of competition and as we’d lost houses in best and final before we ended up bidding 20k over asking. We got it but only because apparently we had sold to first time buyers and the other bidders had longer chains.

House survey was shocking but I know surveys read like horror scripts and we knew from viewing that there would be work needed. When I liaised with estate agent about getting specialists in to quote for work they told me, the vendor has other cash buyers lined up, she will not be taking money off (it’s a probate sale for her parents). Thinking that was our plan. It genuinely wasn’t, we just needed to know the extent of any issues and costs, the house is 500k so not cheap!!

Then on the day of exchange our buyers pulled out. Estate agent/vendor would not wait for us to resell, they put it back on the market that afternoon and have since redone the photos so some of the issues we had been looking at (damp, some cracks) have been covered up with mirrors and pictures (in an empty house!)

2 weeks later we have now resold and the house we were buying is still on the market. I actually rang the estate agents to enquire about it (not telling them who I was) and they said the vendor had had some offers but was looking for close to asking price!! WTF? Now she will accept an offer 20k lower than what we were paying. The cash buyers were clearly a tool to get us paying more and not renegotiating.

I do still love the house (damp and cracks aside) although I think we were overpaying a bit but had come to terms with it not being ours and come to terms with the financial loss (£900ish). I am waiting for the estate agent to phone me once they see our house is SSTC again but I don’t know what to do.

I want to tell them where to go tbh but is that a mistake?

I do understand why you feel the way you do.

But if you really do want the house you should still go for it, and be glad that you’re not having to pay £20k over asking price.

@BlueOverYellow

Put in a new, lower offer. You're starting from scratch AND you already know what the issues are because you've already done the surveys.

If they say no, move on, don't negotiate.

This - no negotiation. They either accept or they don't. If they don't, move on.

I offered the asking price on a house and the sellers accepted the same offer from another couple because they 'preferred them.'

Some time later they were let down by the buyer and the estate agents came crawling back to me.

This time round I did buy it, but for £3000 less than I would have paid had they accepted my offer in the first place.

@ReeMee

I forgot AIBU was such a bitchy place? Some people just love an argument don’t they? I only wanted to ask for advice on what to do.

Thanks for those who have told me their opinions without being unkind. I have lots to think about!

It feels like maybe this was meant to be and it’s not meant to be our house.

Yes it is and yes they do. Some folks just love to try to make someone feel shit, it's so weird. Just ignore those posts, there are plenty more from people giving good advice in a normal way.

I agree they could have waited for you especially if you were offering £20k over the asking price and you were already well into the legal process and had done a survey.

However, their decisions may have largely been taken from the advice of the estate agent - who I think probably advised them it could take you months to find another buyer and weeks to complete the process.

There's lots of different ways to look at it.

Given what you know now - go back in at asking price. I would absolutely not be paying £20k above asking price.

Were all the searches completed etc?

@BlueOverYellow

Put in a new, lower offer. You're starting from scratch AND you already know what the issues are because you've already done the surveys.

If they say no, move on, don't negotiate.

This. New, lower offer than what they want. They probably were being greedy before, they wouldn't be the first or last. But now they sound desperate, so sod them.

Maybe prepare for the worst though on this house in terms of repairs. It sounds quite bad.

Have you seen anything else around that you like? If not I’d put a new offer in, just under the asking price, and absolutely not budge on it. If the estate agent is funny I’d point out that you rang earlier and were told that was what was it expected to go for.

I do understand why you feel wounded but I don't think they committed any great crime either, so in answer to your question I wouldn't avoid on principle.

As PP said I would see it as an opportunity to secure it for less money, now you know the issues. Agree don't pay over the odds this time though.

Aibu is where people ask a question and get responses that are variations of yes or no. Its not for the thin skinned but also its not a place where people will agree with your stance out of politeness...maybe post on one of the other boards if you think Aibu is not for you. But it's literally asking a question to get viewpoints. That being said, I can't see any ott responses tbh. Disagreeing isn't bitchy.

I’d put in an offer at below asking.
I think people get too caught up in the idea of a dream home or a forever home and emotions take over.

There’s always another house that will come along and no house is perfect.
Put in the offer but keep looking.

Best of luck.

Take your understandable irritation with the vendor out of the picture @ReeMee

Think of it as purely a business decision. Do you like the house? Would you buy it if there weren’t this history?

Or are there other properties you like just as much?

You know now that you can walk away with no guilt if the vendor pulls any stunts. You are the ones in control.

But treat it as a business decision not an emotional one. The vendor won’t realise you’re teaching her a lesson if you don’t buy it.

Do you want to live in this house, or are there others that you are happy with?

(I’m very settled and in no way on the housing market so I ask these questions in ignorance of the state of the market where you are, but they’re good questions to help you cut through the emotions)

Just offer the lower amount of you still like the house. The £20k you've saved can assuage your irritation.

The estate agents seemed to have lied to you about the state of competition when you were offering the first time round. I would like to be able to say you boycotting them will help pressure estate agents into better behavior. But we all know that’s not true. We’d need some criminal prosecutions for fraud to get estate agents to adhere to the sort of basic honesty we normally manage to get from other businesses.

But the owners themselves don’t sound like they’ve done anything that bad. They put the house back on the market when your buyers pulled out, which isn’t as helpful to you as they could have been, but it’s not awful behavior. Obviously it might have worked out better for them if they had waited but they weren’t to know - it’s been 3 months since January and you’re still only SSTC.

So I would suck it up. Put an offer in for asking on the proviso you can get the quotes and see what they say.

It’s normal to feel the way you do but not objectively reasonable. If I were you I’d now offer asking price (or a little less) and walk away if they want more.

Our buyers changed their mind on the day of exchange so we’d had a homebuyers report, damp survey and most searches were complete. Everyone had pencilled in a completion date over Easter.

We had identified the source of damp, chimney needs repointing, there’s a small area that needs rerendering at the back and there’s some dodgy cavity wall insulation. We had a plan. The surveyor was confident that the crack was settling after an extension. He said it was non progressive. I doubt the crack will come up on any further survey as it’s behind a large painting now! The damp has been cleaned and painted. I presume a survey will still find that?

I think, when the estate agent rings me, which I am confident they will, I will just say we are no longer interested.

If you love it I'd offer £20k below asking as BAFO and be prepared to drop out if they dick you around.

No one did anything wrong but surely you can get why I feel as I do?!

I get it, OP. But I'd be cross at the estate agent, not the seller.

We were pressured into offering over asking price for a property. For the same reasons; cash buyers, people itching to get it behind us blah blah blah.

Our sale fell through and we reassessed and decided to stay put a but longer. 6 months later the property is still on the market and has dropped 15k. The estate agents drove that and it was sneaky.

I understand you feel a bit put out but I think it’s perfectly acceptable for them to expect a lower offer now they have had to re market it - I don’t think it’s particularly cheeky, more realistic.

I’d put in a revised offer and then just sit back and wait. Whilst still looking around of course.

The fact you have now emotionally detached a bit is in your favour.

Before you were the over excited buyers who probably set the expectations of the sellers high.

Go back with a final offer at the asking price or just below on a take it or leave it basis. If they don't accept, it wasn't meant to be.
If they do, well they have paid the price for not allowing you any time and you are the overall 'winner' in this.

Being prepared to walk away always puts you in a strong negotiating position

@ReeMee

I forgot AIBU was such a bitchy place? Some people just love an argument don’t they? I only wanted to ask for advice on what to do.

Thanks for those who have told me their opinions without being unkind. I have lots to think about!

It feels like maybe this was meant to be and it’s not meant to be our house.

You can see when one person writes an unnecessary snarky reply others jump on. As you’ve pretty much come to terms with not getting the house I’d go back with a lower offer and see if they’re a bit more open to negotiating now they’ve had to wait a bit. Tbh all these snarky why would you assume they didn’t have the other offers lined up, if they had and if the house was realistically priced, it would have gone by now. There are more buyers than sellers at the moment.

Your sense of irritation with the sellers and agents is understandable. It's likely the EAs lied about all the cash buyers because most of them do or at least twist/ exaggerate the truth. The sellers sound greedy (expecting over asking price for a house that hasn't been properly maintained) and not very decent in not letting you have a few weeks to sell your house again given how near to exchange you were.

Still, as others have said, you need to remove your emotions when making this decision.
Do you actually want to live in that house in that area?
Can you actually afford all the work that needs doing?
Are there any other houses that you may be interested in?
Depending on the answers, you could offer under asking which would be a good discount from your original offer and then continue to look at other properties. Make it clear that there will be no negotiation. The market has definitely settled from the madness of the last couple of years so less of a crazy seller's market in some areas at least.

'I think, when the estate agent rings me, which I am confident they will, I will just say we are no longer interested.'

Only say this if it is really true. Otherwise, place a significantly lower and see what they say.

Put in an offer at £475 (assuming it was £500 and you were paying £520 before) you will need to get the mortgage re-done at the lower price but everything else survey and searches will still stand

I must be missing something here, because as I read it, you’re winning here. You’re able to get the house for £20k less than your original offer!

You're complaining about saving £20k? Also, it's the estate agents that drive the price and competition not the vendor.