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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not buy their house out of principle?

142 replies

ReeMee · 12/04/2022 12:18

Help me decide what to do?!

In Jan we had an offer accepted on a house. Estate agent told us there was loads of competition and as we’d lost houses in best and final before we ended up bidding 20k over asking. We got it but only because apparently we had sold to first time buyers and the other bidders had longer chains.

House survey was shocking but I know surveys read like horror scripts and we knew from viewing that there would be work needed. When I liaised with estate agent about getting specialists in to quote for work they told me, the vendor has other cash buyers lined up, she will not be taking money off (it’s a probate sale for her parents). Thinking that was our plan. It genuinely wasn’t, we just needed to know the extent of any issues and costs, the house is 500k so not cheap!!

Then on the day of exchange our buyers pulled out. Estate agent/vendor would not wait for us to resell, they put it back on the market that afternoon and have since redone the photos so some of the issues we had been looking at (damp, some cracks) have been covered up with mirrors and pictures (in an empty house!)

2 weeks later we have now resold and the house we were buying is still on the market. I actually rang the estate agents to enquire about it (not telling them who I was) and they said the vendor had had some offers but was looking for close to asking price!! WTF? Now she will accept an offer 20k lower than what we were paying. The cash buyers were clearly a tool to get us paying more and not renegotiating.

I do still love the house (damp and cracks aside) although I think we were overpaying a bit but had come to terms with it not being ours and come to terms with the financial loss (£900ish). I am waiting for the estate agent to phone me once they see our house is SSTC again but I don’t know what to do.

I want to tell them where to go tbh but is that a mistake?

OP posts:
Georgeskitchen · 12/04/2022 14:28

I would offer asking price and if they decline tell them to shove it

Livelovebehappy · 12/04/2022 14:40

I wouldn’t automatically assume the buyers are the driving force behind what’s happened. Estate Agents can be pretty brutal re house sales. We went through the house buying process hating the sellers for what appeared to be twatty behaviour, but later found that the Estate Agents were behind a lot of the decisions.

MzHz · 12/04/2022 14:42

You KNOW what you’re buying this time around!

Would the £20k be enough to cover the issues at hand?

If so, then go in on that basis and make sure to mention that anyone else would be offering without the knowledge you have and therefore WOULD Look for a significant reduction as a result.

This way you can make your final hard offer, they’re going to know you’re not going to gazunder them and it’ll be a smoother process for everyone

MzHz · 12/04/2022 14:43

Oh and offer in your maiden name… Wink

Walkaround · 12/04/2022 14:45

They sound like flaky vendors to me. I wouldn’t trust them and, for being messed around, if I offered anything at all again, would offer considerably below the price I had previously been willing to go for, and below the price they are now asking. They have made the property less appealing to purchasers with repeated failed sales - that just makes it look like there is something badly wrong with the property, so the only way is down for the price of that house! They also clearly just see this as a commercial transaction, not the sale of a home to people who will love it, so your obvious love of the house is just a weakness so far as they are concerned, not a strength.

Cakesnbiscuit · 12/04/2022 14:48

We put an offer in on a house and got out bid it went way over the asking price, convinced I didn’t like the house any more but then their buyer pulled out.

It came back on the market and we went to go view again. Decided we did like the house and put in an offer under the asking price and it was accepted.

Don’t think about the price, do you like the house? Even with all the issues? If you do put in a cheeky offer below the asking price….what do you have to lose?

surreygirl1987 · 12/04/2022 14:51

I think you're being silly. Do you still want it? If so, put in a new offer. Asking price perhaps?

Thegoodandbadlife · 12/04/2022 14:55

I get why you’d want to say no but think about it logically. If it is the dream house put in an offer around asking and be very happy you actually paid less than what you were originally going to and have actually saved money because the drop in price is more than the money you spent so far. Plus you get to feel smug knowing that you paid less for your dream house than if they hadn’t been awkward so karma has bit them and benefited you.

Original poster
ReeMee · 12/04/2022 14:57

To be honest I don’t like the estate agent at all. They are pushy, constantly chasing us and very abrupt in correspondence and made a few comments about us not selling with them, they’re the main agent in this area.

I find it immoral if they have advised the vendor to cover up the damp and crack. Or if the vendor has done that herself. They made no attempt to do that when we’re viewing so it feels shifty and it’s a completely empty property apart from pictures, mirrors and one tv unit which covers the damp by the chimney breast. Surveyors won’t move furniture.

They have emailed me asking if we’ve had any update on our sale. I haven’t replied yet.

OP posts:
MindTheGapMoveAlong · 12/04/2022 15:01

Sound similar to the situation we had with our house a decade ago! All sorts of issues - divorce, repossession, phantom buyers pushing the price up, best and final three times (!) that we lost despite being the highest offer & not in a chain Confused- but we got there in the end and at a much lower price.
If came back on the market 4 months after we ‘lost’ it at significantly less ( think £75k than our best offer) I know Shock but it was a period house, perfect size for us, great location and we thought it was our forever home. Anyway we went back & offered LESS than asking price. They pointed out the price on the ad. We basically shrugged but didn’t budge on the offer. The EA actually claimed that the offer price was an error and that the real price was …the inflated offer wed made when we hadn’t won the bidding war. Dream on.

At that point all emotion had gone out of it. We wanted it but knew that it wasn’t the be all and all if we didn’t get it, We got it & have been very happy here.
Stand firm OP. Don’t let the EA prey on your emotions; act like it’s no big deal if you don’t get it - there are other houses and other estate agents, right?
Good luck

MindTheGapMoveAlong · 12/04/2022 15:02

Just seen your update m. Let them sweat.

Honeyroar · 12/04/2022 15:02

It doesn’t matter whether you like the vendor or estate agent. Just decide whether you want the house or not. If you do tell them your lower offer and make it final.

Original poster
ReeMee · 12/04/2022 15:07

Once my DH comes home we will sit down and weigh it all up this evening. If we offer it will be asking price and it will be our best and final.

Our circumstances have changed since we were buying in that DH has gone back to the office after being told he wouldn’t be so we don’t need a home office anymore, this house is 4 bed and we may start looking for a 3 bed instead. We could get a lovely one without work needing doing for 500k.

That said, I still love the house. It is in the best location we could hope for.

OP posts:
MaudieandMe · 12/04/2022 15:38

We paid an extra 20k on top of the agreed price for our house to remove the right of way over the drive. At the time, I felt pretty annoyed as it didn’t come to light until we were well into the buying process.

However, prices have gone up significantly around here and it’s probably worth double what we originally paid 8 years ago so the 20k isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme and I’m still extremely happy living here. It’s the perfect location and orientation.

OP, try to imagine life in the house in 10 years time. Do you think you will still be happy there?

NoNever · 12/04/2022 15:39

I wouldn’t buy it. The seller is dishonest and the house has a lot of issued. Unless Patrick Swayze danced in the kitchen, it’s not worth the stress.

puffyisgood · 12/04/2022 15:41

being upset at an estate agent for lying is, honestly, like voluntarily sauntering into a snake pit and complaining at all the hissing. it goes with the territory. it's hard where your home is concerned but you need to try & view the transaction as dispassionately - until it's yours, at which time it's your home, it's just something you might be buying.

Walkaround · 12/04/2022 15:45

With energy prices, etc, inflating rapidly, I wouldn’t bet on house prices remaining as high as they currently are - I think the uncertainty will be putting some buyers off. Why, therefore, start out offering the asking price? I would offer slightly below.

unname · 12/04/2022 15:50

@ReeMee

Once my DH comes home we will sit down and weigh it all up this evening. If we offer it will be asking price and it will be our best and final.

Our circumstances have changed since we were buying in that DH has gone back to the office after being told he wouldn’t be so we don’t need a home office anymore, this house is 4 bed and we may start looking for a 3 bed instead. We could get a lovely one without work needing doing for 500k.

That said, I still love the house. It is in the best location we could hope for.

I bought a house that had been poorly renovated years ago from shady investors. I loved the house and never regretted it.

If you love it and it suits you, it's worth the extra annoyance. You already know the issues so you won't be fleeced.

Original poster
ReeMee · 12/04/2022 15:50

What pisses me off is estate agents shouldn’t be able to get away with lying.

I asked why previous sales had fallen through and was told ‘we’re not sure, changing financial circumstances.’ I asked if it was due to something found on the survey ‘oh no, we are not aware of any issues on the survey’ they acted completely surprised when I said we had been told we needed a specialist damp survey by the mortgage company. The damp was obvious and if two previous buyers had surveys it would have come up and I’m sure they knew about it!

The change to the law a few years back saying buyers/agents needed to disclose known issues is utterly pointless when they can just say whatever they want.

OP posts:
BonnyandPoppy · 12/04/2022 15:52

I would offer 20k under the asking price and be prepared to maybe go up to just under asking. If yoy still like the house and it's in a good location I would go for it.

AntarcticTern · 12/04/2022 15:58

I would offer £20k (or more!) lower than your previous offer and refuse to budge. If it's a great location and your eyes are open about the potential issues, then it would be silly to let your dislike of the vendors/EA get in the way.

Hadjab · 12/04/2022 16:08

I haven’t bought or sold a house for over 20 years, so I’m probably missing something, but if you actually want the house, surely you’d put in an offer, slightly below the asking price. If they accept it, then job done?

GatoradeMeBitch · 12/04/2022 16:09

Why offer asking price if the estate agents are saying they'd accept "close to"? They have dicked you around so don't worry about orals at this point. Offer at least £10k under. Emphasize that the damp will be a problem to fix and your lower bid reflects that.

GatoradeMeBitch · 12/04/2022 16:10

*morals not orals...

rainingsnoring · 12/04/2022 16:11

@ReeMee

Once my DH comes home we will sit down and weigh it all up this evening. If we offer it will be asking price and it will be our best and final.

Our circumstances have changed since we were buying in that DH has gone back to the office after being told he wouldn’t be so we don’t need a home office anymore, this house is 4 bed and we may start looking for a 3 bed instead. We could get a lovely one without work needing doing for 500k.

That said, I still love the house. It is in the best location we could hope for.

Sounds sensible to have a proper discussion and weigh up the pros and cons before replying to the agent. I see from your later posts that two previous sales have fallen through. That already makes one suspicious!

Do whatever suits your family but definitely at a discount if you decide to go ahead. Clearly other people don't feel this house is worth the price even in a busy market or they are put off because it is back on the market for the nth time.