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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not buy their house out of principle?

142 replies

ReeMee · 12/04/2022 12:18

Help me decide what to do?!

In Jan we had an offer accepted on a house. Estate agent told us there was loads of competition and as we’d lost houses in best and final before we ended up bidding 20k over asking. We got it but only because apparently we had sold to first time buyers and the other bidders had longer chains.

House survey was shocking but I know surveys read like horror scripts and we knew from viewing that there would be work needed. When I liaised with estate agent about getting specialists in to quote for work they told me, the vendor has other cash buyers lined up, she will not be taking money off (it’s a probate sale for her parents). Thinking that was our plan. It genuinely wasn’t, we just needed to know the extent of any issues and costs, the house is 500k so not cheap!!

Then on the day of exchange our buyers pulled out. Estate agent/vendor would not wait for us to resell, they put it back on the market that afternoon and have since redone the photos so some of the issues we had been looking at (damp, some cracks) have been covered up with mirrors and pictures (in an empty house!)

2 weeks later we have now resold and the house we were buying is still on the market. I actually rang the estate agents to enquire about it (not telling them who I was) and they said the vendor had had some offers but was looking for close to asking price!! WTF? Now she will accept an offer 20k lower than what we were paying. The cash buyers were clearly a tool to get us paying more and not renegotiating.

I do still love the house (damp and cracks aside) although I think we were overpaying a bit but had come to terms with it not being ours and come to terms with the financial loss (£900ish). I am waiting for the estate agent to phone me once they see our house is SSTC again but I don’t know what to do.

I want to tell them where to go tbh but is that a mistake?

OP posts:
DrSbaitso · 12/04/2022 13:28

I think it all depends on how much you want the house.

Threetulips · 12/04/2022 13:29

They were confident the house would fetch more, but a house that has been on a while with a previous sale fallen through will get people asking questions about the survey or the sellers.

I would go in at below asking offer and see where that get you - or get a friend to do it first and see what they are looking for - friend backs out and you put the lowers offer in.

They may be fed up of paying out for an empty property.

Pumasonsatsumas · 12/04/2022 13:30

The estate agent legally has to put forward your offer, whatever it is. Put in under the asking price. You can always go up from there if you want to. That's how negotiation works.

Bedsheets4knickers · 12/04/2022 13:33

Asking or below , not a penny over . Don't lose your house .

Loopytiles · 12/04/2022 13:33

Would set aside the vendor’s actions and do a costs, pros and cons list about the house, and other options open to you.

If you decide the house is the best option, agree with PPs worth another go!

godmum56 · 12/04/2022 13:35

Houses are things. use things love people (and pets :) )

I have this maxim in life that the things that are meant for you come to you easily....not saying that you don't have to work for them but if problems pop up then you back away. So if it was me I'd be saying that this one is not meant for me and I'd be backing away.

nettie434 · 12/04/2022 13:35

It feels like maybe this was meant to be and it’s not meant to be our house.

I was glad when I read this ReeMee as I think if I were in the position of selling a house for probate I would have waited a few weeks to see if you got another offer. Now you have sold your house and they are still waiting to sell theirs so if they'd waivted, the would have had a sale.

Hope you find your dream house soon - one without any cracks or major problems.

Original poster
ReeMee · 12/04/2022 13:37

I can’t see they’re paying much for an empty property, they certainly haven’t had the heating on in at least 9 months and that’s exacerbating the damp.

They understandably want it gone as quickly as possible for the best price possible. Estate agent probably told them to remarket as the market is very buoyant in this particular area, which is why the not reselling is bizarre. Not to drip feed but they have had 2 other sales fall though, presented as unfortunate occurrences by the estate agent who of course didn’t know anything about the surveys. I’m convinced it was on account of the surveys though.

This thread is really helping me step away and gain perspective!

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 12/04/2022 13:39

You're buying a house, not giving them money. If you love the house, put an offer in that's reasonable, don't pay games and see

poulicey · 12/04/2022 13:39

OP completely understand how you feel, we can't tell whether it is the sellers or the EA who are immoral in this case, likely both. Anyway, if you like the house, try to put your emotions aside, and use this as an opportunity! You now have paid for a survey, you know the issues, and also have the advantage of not having to wait for a survey so can act faster. Further, use the opportunity to reduce the price, offer 20 K less say due to survey results - you will be the winner out of their immoral behaviour.

TinaYouFatLard · 12/04/2022 13:40

Honestly OP, it’s a seller’s market at the moment and if you want the house there’s no room for principle or “meant to be” stuff. You might regret sticking to your guns when you still haven’t found another house in a year.

We had an offer accepted in December on a house we want to buy. Paid well over the odds on the condition the sellers vacated soon even if they had to move into rented or in with relatives - that was the deal. Six months later they haven’t even instructed solicitors. They just changed their minds because they could. We could pull out but there’s nothing out there to buy. We just have to suck it up or lose the house.

MyCommentWasDeleted · 12/04/2022 13:42

Starting offer of 450k and play it out from there

7eleven · 12/04/2022 13:43

Something quite similar happened to me. I ended up buying the house for less than I’d been pressurised by a pushy estate agent to offer immediately. Builder friend told me I’d over offered, so I pulled out a few days after I’d made the offer.

House resold and fell through three times I think before I went back in with a lower offer.

IDontHaveAnOutingHobby · 12/04/2022 13:50

@ReeMee

I can’t see they’re paying much for an empty property, they certainly haven’t had the heating on in at least 9 months and that’s exacerbating the damp.

They understandably want it gone as quickly as possible for the best price possible. Estate agent probably told them to remarket as the market is very buoyant in this particular area, which is why the not reselling is bizarre. Not to drip feed but they have had 2 other sales fall though, presented as unfortunate occurrences by the estate agent who of course didn’t know anything about the surveys. I’m convinced it was on account of the surveys though.

This thread is really helping me step away and gain perspective!

May have been the price If they wanted an 90% mortgage and bid over asking the bank will have declined. It is why so many of the sealed bids over fall through as people dont realise you generally need a large value to loan to bid over- so you are taking the risk not the bank
Mellowyellow222 · 12/04/2022 13:54

Buying a house is emotionally draining! It’s hard not to become personal.

I still hate the person who pulled out of my sale with a deep passion! I never even met them!

If you love the house then bid - not as high as you did. The vendors are awkward yes - but six months in you won’t even remember their name - and you will have done so much work you won’t recognise it as the house you initially bought.

Good luck! I am glad I am on the otnher side - it’s an awful process

SockFluffInTheBath · 12/04/2022 13:54

If you still like the house- forget the vendor- then I’d be inclined to offer £20k under the asking price, say your budget has changed, and see what they say.

SheWentWest · 12/04/2022 13:55

I had something similar. You are under no obligation to honour your previous offer. I knocked my offer down and they were very put out. Told them take it or leave it and I meant it. They took it.

NinjaQueen · 12/04/2022 13:55

I would offer just under asking price and walk away if they don't accept.

I can understand your feeling but you are cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Zilla1 · 12/04/2022 14:04

As you have less emotional engagement, I'd offer more than £20k off to give you head room to negotiate and make sure they don't mess you around. If it hasn't sold and you are the best offer and wont delay with surveys then front them up and take control.

Heythere13 · 12/04/2022 14:04

Nose. Cut. Spite. Face. Don’t.

MapleMay11 · 12/04/2022 14:07

In their position, given it’s probate and we would sell again quickly I would have definitely waited for us.

Why? I would hold out for the best price I could if I was selling a probate property.

Twiglets1 · 12/04/2022 14:11

Take the emotion out of it and treat it like a business decision. If it’s the best house for you then offer again - but don’t go above the asking price this time. Say your finances this time round mean you can’t offer what you offered before and you believe the market has changed anyway since your original offer

Twiglets1 · 12/04/2022 14:12

You could also mention that you are now aware the house will need £££ spending on it so that affects its value in your opinion

Original poster
ReeMee · 12/04/2022 14:16

@MapleMay11

Why though? We were paying 20k over as it was. We knew about the issues with it and still wanted to pay 20k over. We had had the valuation approved no issues as we had a 50% deposit. We had a property that would sell again quickly, probably to a first time buyer.

Why would you give all that up without giving us at least a week to resell, especially given 2 sales had already fallen through. It was always going to be a risk for them.

OP posts:
ComeOnNow21 · 12/04/2022 14:18

Fwiw it's worth I totally understand why you feel like you do. House buying is so stressful. Hope you find something great soon.
We recently had a similar situation (our buyer was a dreamer) except our seller got offered a lot more money once they went back on the market. Although we were gutted, we've now ended up with something that will work better for our needs in the longer term. Hope the same happens for you.

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