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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To miss the young child years

77 replies

Scottishmum1984 · 11/04/2022 23:07

Sitting here in tears after a day with a very moody teen and my other DC heading in same direction. I know there are far more important things like being safe and healthy of course but does anyone miss the younger version of their kids? My oldest was such a mummy’s boy and hung on my every word / plus literally clung on to me, the excitement of everything from first cuddle in the morning to a new discovery on a walk to the duck pond. It’s probably pmt talking but would love to go back for a day!

OP posts:
Jellybean27 · 11/04/2022 23:19

This has hit me hard recently. Realising my DD isn’t my “baby” anymore. Teens are tough!

Ohyesiam · 11/04/2022 23:31

I miss it in a nostalgic way, but probably only because I don’t have to do it. Reality I think I prefer the freedom that having teens brings. But as you say, I could do without the moods.

BonjourCrisette · 11/04/2022 23:34

It is hard. I took a few days off this Easter but my child is too busy to hang out with me. I suppose I should be happy that she's got lots of friends and is capable enough to organise a ton of fun things to do. But I do sort of miss her.

MrsAliceRichards · 11/04/2022 23:37

I felt like this recently, have two children, one teen and one pre teen, had toyed with a third but never took the plunge. I'm minding my niece at the moment who is a bit younger and it has cured me of the nostalgia in anything other than an "awww weren't they lovely and cute" type of way. She's a good kid but the talking and needing attention is utterly relentless. I have a newfound deep appreciation for my kids and the lovely young adults they are turning into.

Question10 · 11/04/2022 23:43

I’m sorry I have no words of wisdom but your post has made me sit up and take note to enjoy my 5 year old in this moment

Belledan1 · 11/04/2022 23:48

I have a grunting teen and feel the same. Saw a little boy so excited that he pressed the button crossing the road holding his balloon and mom's hand. I got a bit emotional.

Belledan1 · 11/04/2022 23:51

Meant to say too though when I hear the little girl next door wanting constant attention in the garden I do sometimes appreciate my son is in his room leaving me in peace.

WildCoasts · 11/04/2022 23:55

I really enjoy my teens and they are good people, but the preschool years are certainly easier! I sometimes do miss those blissful days with them.

BlueIvy11 · 11/04/2022 23:56

Aww I have a nearly 13 year old DD and I'm tired of being told I've ruined her life over the slightest inconvenience. I'd much prefer a toddler haha

Kite22 · 12/04/2022 00:08

I haven't voted as YANBU of course, if that is how you are feeling tonight, but equally, no, I didn't miss being sleep deprived and run off my feet at all.
I've liked parenting my dc more and more with each passing year. The teens are a fab time when a) you get lie ins back and b) you can leave them home alone and get to spend some 1:1 time with each of them.
You get to see the fine people they are becoming, and start to see the benefits you reap from having put in a bloomin' hard shift when they were smaller.

elliejjtiny · 12/04/2022 00:16

Yanbu. I would love to go back to a time when my 14 year old would hug me and I didn't have to worry that he would try and kill himself again.

NancyDrooo · 12/04/2022 00:19

Mine are early/mid teens now and I’d absolutely go back a decade in a heartbeat. 100%. Yeah it might have been more full on and hard work but it was infinitely more rewarding and amusing. When I look back on those days I see colour and chaos and laughter (and a few tantrums) and I’m glad I didn’t work when they were little. Loved watching them learn new things and question the world. Ten years later and apparently, they know absolutely bloody everything Grin

Original poster
Scottishmum1984 · 12/04/2022 07:42

Aw good to know I’m not alone. I agree with pp pointing out the positives of having older ones too, just a day would be nice!

OP posts:
BobHadBitchTits · 12/04/2022 07:46

I have an almost 6 year old and a 5 month old if you want them?

Ponoka7 · 12/04/2022 07:54

My eldest GC is nearly 8, but acting like a tween. It's really making me appreciate the nearly five year old. It's tough if you have your children most of the time, but for us who have them part time, the early years are wonderful.

MuchTooTired · 12/04/2022 07:55

I have 4 year old twins if you’d like to revisit the young children stage for a day? Am happy to travel to you Grin

Babyunledweaning · 12/04/2022 07:55

I have a 15 month old, so lovely but still doesn’t sleep and doesn’t eat properly.

If it wasn’t for those things it would be awesome!

Shopboughtmeatballs · 12/04/2022 08:09

Weeell obviouslys you're not U to feel how you feel, but there's fun ahead as well, I promise. I'm writing this just as my 22 year old, (home again with us post degree to save ££ for deposit) has just gone off to work. She's been laughing and laughing with me as we had breakfast together, talking about people in her office and strategies for an interview next week. It's honestly LOVELY, and she's kind of 'come into herself' post difficult teen years.
Hang in there OP. Flowers

Original poster
Scottishmum1984 · 12/04/2022 08:09

Ha yes, of course there is a touch of rose tinted spectacles, I do not miss the lack of sleep! Just the cuddles, joy for life and learning (versus finding me embarrassing and wanting to be with friends all day) etc!

OP posts:
Original poster
Scottishmum1984 · 12/04/2022 08:10

@Shopboughtmeatballs aww that’s lovely!

OP posts:
Savingpeoplehuntingthings · 12/04/2022 08:11

I voted yabu but because for me I don't miss the younger years. If you do that's your feelings, not for anyone else to say you're wrong.
Strangely yesterday I walked past a play park with dd 14 and she asked if I missed her being younger. I really don't. I love watching them grow up. I love the next new thing we can do now they're getting older. We went to Manchester this week shopping and it was so much nicer than dragging a small child about. I love watching them mature, become whole people, develop into themselves. I just don't miss the younger years.
(My kids are 13 + 14 and I have and adult dd too)

DinosApple · 12/04/2022 08:11

Ah, I loved mine when they were tiny. They were absolute monkeys though. Into absolutely everything, climbers, nothing except toys at child height for years. Lipsticks, bum cream, cold ash from the fire- nothing was safe Grin. The bedtimes and always waking up with a child in the bed for the first 7 years of parenthood. Haha, I miss it sometimes.

Eldest is 12, nearly 13, youngest is 11. My role is changing from centre of their universe, to giver of unwantedadvice and provider of funds!

Turquoisesea · 12/04/2022 08:13

I was thinking this the other day, how nice it would be to go back but only for a day or two. I don’t miss the early mornings or the never ending questions or the having to entertain them constantly, but on the flip side I have a nearly 14 year old DD who is such hard work at the moment, we are boring, never do anything, too old, all her friends have better holidays, the screaming at us if we disagree with what she says. It really is exhausting. My DS is 17 and I’m lucky if he ever leaves his room except to go to school. He’s not as bad as DD but he doesn’t want to do anything with us anymore. I saw parents with younger children yesterday and the DCs were all excited and chatty and it made me realise at the time it feels like you will have that time forever but looking back those years went in a flash and I do miss how innocent, happy and excited by the world they were.

Mummadeze · 12/04/2022 08:16

Far less to worry about when they are younger for sure. I loved all the child friendly activities and child’s clothes too. My DD is a young 13 but has the body of an adult so it is a tricky time. She would probably love to go to a soft play place still but is too tall. Mostly it is about how carefree she used to be though compared to now. That is what I find hardest.

moita · 12/04/2022 08:21

Mine are 4 and 5 and I already get nostalgic Blush

The years fly by