Cheeky request to buy parents house - AIBU?

[SewingMum46]

My DPs still live in the same house they built when first married in the 60s. It’s in quite a nice area and because DF is an amazing gardener has a lovely garden which can be seen through the gate. It’s split level so although DM has some mobility problems and is quite frail, it still works for them. They’d only leave if something happened to one of them.
They got a card through the door last week with a message that basically said this couple who live in a very posh house up a very posh street nearby want to downsize because their kids have left home, so please would they consider selling their house to them? It included something along the lines of “Of course we’d pay full market value but it would be good to avoid those annoying estate agents fees”. It was handwritten with the name and address of the couple.
I feel it’s a bit cheeky and tbh on the verge of being entitled. DPs don’t know these people at all - they said in the card they’ve “always thought the house is lovely” and now they’ve decided it would suit them better as their “current property is on 4 floors”.
DF hasn’t shown the card to DM. I told him to ignore it but hold onto it. He’s adamant that if he sold to them it would be above market value, but he doesn’t want to sell - it would be up to DB and me to sell the house after they are gone.
What would you feel if this happened to your DPs? I find it really upsetting.

Lots of people do this. It's a request not a demand, if your parents don't wish to sell then they can simply ignore it.

My parents had two through their door last month - I think there's a real rise in this type of thing because houses that go to market are so competitive that people are trying to get in there early. They are actually considering selling, so they were quite pleased. One person didn't have the right budget but one did come to look around. I think the only thing my parents were irritated by was that having come to look around and expressed that they liked the house, this person has never got back in touch again, even to say they weren't interested. Parents just felt that was rude after taking time out of their days to accommodate their request and show them around the house, plus emailing across further pictures after the viewing.

The whole point of putting your house on the market is that the market sets the price.

But people put their houses up for sale for an 'asking price' - they don't just stick it up and see what offers come in. And in a private sale, people usually get an EA valuation/opinion before agreeing a price.

There is always a starting point for negotiation, and the seller is always free to accept or refuse an offer that doesn't meet their expectations.

An agent will (or a good one should) negotiate hard on behalf of the seller and get the true market value for the home.

Ha! I've never come across this happening.

@SewingMum46

Maybe I should have mentioned DM has been suffering from cancer and is very frail, DF is her carer and very independent. It almost feels like they’ve seen them and thought “they’ll be going into a home soon”. Of course it’s not unreasonable to think a house is lovely and wish it were yours, but wouldn’t you wait for a “For Sale” sign to go up?

Nonsense. They want to buy a house. You are taking this totally unnecessarily personally and making your DPs the victims in what is not a predator and victim scenario.

@Octomore

The whole point of putting your house on the market is that the market sets the price.

But people put their houses up for sale for an 'asking price' - they don't just stick it up and see what offers come in. And in a private sale, people usually get an EA valuation/opinion before agreeing a price.

There is always a starting point for negotiation, and the seller is always free to accept or refuse an offer that doesn't meet their expectations.

An agent will (or a good one should) negotiate hard on behalf of the seller and get the true market value for the home.

Ha! I've never come across this happening.

Yes I get that Octomore they set an asking price and then people offer on it, so those people ie. the market, set the final price.

Of course you could sit down with just one buyer and agree on a price but personally I would rather go through an agent.

And some agents will negotiate hard, i have seen it myself, although I admit most are useless and just want to get the property sold. It also depends on the country you're in.

My main point though is that if it's an elderly couple in their much loved home a note through the door like this could cause a lot of stress and give a feeling of circling vultures. It's a bit tacky.

Hi,it's a compliment,and a request,not a threat!
Relax and think no more of it unless your df wants to reply with a no thank you.
It's nothing to get worked up about.

@Tortabella
the asker might know that the couple are older but nothing else. It might not be a well loved home but a millstone...in any case older doesn't mean incapable. I am "older" as are most of my friends and we wouldn't think twice about such a note, we'd make contact if we wanted to and not if we didn't. Its unfortunate that it arrived at a time where there was illness as an additional issue but the asker was not to know that. Its neither tacky not vulturish, its just a polite note.

Just ignore the note.
I would be especially not want to deal with these people because of the " let's not involve agents" component.
They're trying to get a bargain by possibly befuddling your elderly parents.
When my parents died we were approached by a neighbour who wanted to do this. We declined his offer.
Turned out he was offering way under market value. We sold it quickly through an agent for a great price.

godmum56 I will rephrase, I think it's a bit tacky. Especially the oh-so-thoughtful bit about 'avoiding agents.'

Cutting out the agent is not in a seller's interests in most cases, especially if it's a house where there's likely to be a few people interested.

Send these people my way! I'd be delighted to receive unsolicited offers to buy my house!

But seriously, don't overthink this. It's a perfectly commonplace way to try and buy a house in an over-heated market. Nobody has been 'watching' your parents or behaving suspiciously. If your DPs don't want to sell then ignore the letter. No need for a moment's more consideration.

Perhaps it feels as they know they are an elderly couple so presume they'd like to sell. I'd bin it and forget all about it.

@Octomore

I have had folk do this to my car. I have also stopped people in the street and asked them where they got their bag/shoes. I am not sure why its entitled or presumptuous?

This is at the extreme end of MN-world, where any enquiry at all is seen as threatening and intrusive!

Even saying 'Hi' to your neighbours, or knocking on someone's door seems to prompt some people to enter a tailspin of catastrophising and fear that they are being spied on!

40+ years ago when we lived in Germany we were in UK for the Summer holidays and we were asked numerous times when we bought our toddler's sandals, they were Elefanten and far more substantial than any then on sale on the UK! Never occured to me to take offence!

@boronia

Just ignore the note. I would be especially not want to deal with these people because of the " let's not involve agents" component. They're trying to get a bargain by possibly befuddling your elderly parents. When my parents died we were approached by a neighbour who wanted to do this. We declined his offer. Turned out he was offering way under market value. We sold it quickly through an agent for a great price.

I agree but most posters seem unaware of the danger.

Many, many people (whether from a posh area or not) are looking to make money out of property and to do that, they need to buy at less than open market value, cutting out anyone who might stand up for the seller.

I can't believe the naievity many posters are displaying. Unless the note writer is offering a premium, theres no reason not to put it on the open market just to avoid estate agency fees when the estate agent might well get a better price and understand market flucuations better.

I’ve had it a few times. My house is at the end of a cul de sac on a largish plot and at a push another small house could be built in the garden. I don’t know if that’s the reason or of occasionally people target all the houses on the estate but it’s not personal, I’m not downsizing because I can’t afford the mortgage or my kids are going into borstal. People absolutely do do it with cars, not necessarily a 2015 fiesta which anyone could pick up through autotrader but anything rare or custom or classic people will ask. I’ve been asked if I’d sell my dog (rescue mongrel) in the street 3 times. It’s because he’s the best boy, not because they think I’m too frail to walk him or I’m too hard up to buy kibble.

YABU, it's a "are you considering moving if so let us know", not a compulsory purchase order.

We bought our dream house this way. YABU.

I doubt that the people who wrote the note have personally seen your parents but I'd find it odd too. I don't live in a house which is in any way special, so this has never happened to me. I have seen it advised on mumsnet but don't know anybody in real life who has done this or had a note like this through the door.

And some people are a bit... grabby. An upstairs neighbour of my nan recently approached her son in the street. Another neighbour had (at that point temporarily) moved into a nursing home so my uncle thought maybe he wanted to ask how she was or ask after my husband's nan since they were close friends. Nope, he asked whether he could have first refusal of my husband's nan's flat 'if anything were to happen to her'. He then asked for the phone number of her friend's next of kin so he could request first refusal of her flat. Neither are for sale! It's hard not to think of him rubbing his hands in glee at the thought of them moving into a nursing home or dying. I found that really grabby and distasteful.

Why do you find it really upsetting? Happens to us quite often. There are far worse things going on to get upset about!

This is perfectly normal and I’ve read of people who have been able to get their dream home by doing this.

@SewingMum46

Maybe I should have mentioned DM has been suffering from cancer and is very frail, DF is her carer and very independent. It almost feels like they’ve seen them and thought “they’ll be going into a home soon”. Of course it’s not unreasonable to think a house is lovely and wish it were yours, but wouldn’t you wait for a “For Sale” sign to go up?

I don’t put For Sale signs on my house when selling as it’s optional and I choose not to. I’ve always seen it as a compliment if someone does this and it seems really weird how you’ve turned it into an upsetting and almost sinister incident.

You are being so, so weird about this.

It's completely normal to do this, we've put notes through doors (and had lovely responses) and we've had notes through our door. The last 3 sales on our street were off-market. Not everyone wants the hassle of going on the open market and involving estate agents etc.

Sounds like a nice note, a reasonable request with added compliments thrown in? It's not at all unusual to do this. What's wrong with asking if someone is interested in selling their house? If you don't ask you don't get. This could be a good way to buy a house without agent fees like the note said.

There must be lots of people, in house, wishing to sell, who, for lots of reasons haven't got around to it. For all they know this could have been your parents. They may have been thinking of getting ready to sell but thinking, should be replace the kitchen? will we need to get the conservatory fixed? Do we need to repaint the house, there's a 6 month wait on decorators and what about the windows? They would have been very glad to get this note and show some people around and sell it without having to do any prep.

And they weren't trying to stop your parents getting it valued. They were suggesting not to bother with the fees of estate agents. It doesn't stop your parents from getting it valued and they too would need a valuation as part of a survey.

I too don't think it's too terrible.

Nowhere near as bad as the neighbours who put a note through the door of an elderly family member - the day after they'd seen his body removed by the undertaker

Reader our family instructed the estate agent not to let them even through the door.

Not cheeky.

I was right about to put my house up for sale when I got a letter like this in my mailbox (although it as to anyone in the little neighborhood) because a grandchild was trying to find a place for their grandmother. I ended up selling to them. Very easy comparatively.

Its not at all unusual, I've done it myself and also been on the receiving end.

It's a compliment to your parents lovely garden and what they've made of their home. Nothing sinister or entitled at all. If they don't plan to sell, there's no need to reply to it.

If they did plan to sell, it could be a very attractive way to sell, at market price, avoiding agent fees and all the stress of multiple viewings.