SIL asking siblings to contribute to holiday for my MIL

[L0stinCyberspace]

Please tell me if I am BU. I'm feeling quite cross as DH announced that his his DSis asked (demanded) a £100 contribution from each sibling (4 others) for her upcoming holiday with her DM.

The holiday is to Paris, a treat. My SIL suggested it to my MIL and offered to pay for her originally. ILs are retired, quite comfortable with excellent pensions. DH siad DSis is "doing us all a favour" but I said she was being a CF by offering my MIL a holiday abroad then demanding a contribution from the family. DH said MIL had had a tough time recently and I agreed but said it was ridiculous to expect the family to pay for his DSis holiday especially as our income is so stretched.

SIL'S children are adults and don't live at home and she and her husband have excellent jobs and no mortgage for years. All the other siblings have good jobs, spouses who have jobs, and all have their mortgages paid off. Fair play to them all.

DH and I are quite frugal out of grim necessity (think Aldi skincare, soap - no shower gel, forage for wood, batch cook, low heat in house) and can stretch to one holiday a year. Our DS is still a tern and we'll have to put him through college. We recently had a 2 nighter in London and can't afford another holiday this year. I drive a 10 year old car. We have 17 years left on the mortgage. I can only work part time due to an illness.

Is this fair? Why won't my spineless DH tell his DSis to pay for the holiday she offered? Maybe I'm just being a bit mean because that's what he implied? I keep thinking how SIL heads abroad for over a month every summer and we can't even afford 1 week in a shit hotel on the coast...so cross right now!

I can't believe anyone thinks YABU. Or that sending MIL on a holiday is more of a priority than a break for yourselves, that's peak MN nonsense.
Also loving the Four Yorkshiremen responses to your description of your lifetyle/outgoings.

I do think you have a DH problem. The arrangement and his refusal to engage about it sounds borderline financially abusive.

There is no shame to say you simply can't afford it. With cost of life rising you have to be prudent. Having treated her generously to a big birthday present you cannot be spending more this year, but you can do something nice and show you care in another way. Hobbycraft do fun online activities, why not book yourself and her a nice craft lesson? you can then have a nice high tea at home (cheaply bought from local supermarket or even baked home). You can show people you care with time not just $. Maybe the kids will do a drawing or come along.

Thank you to everyone who replied. I've realised it's time to tackle the "his money" issue. We are going to have a proper talk at the weekend because he's never wanted to hand over control.