AIBU to ask, if you acquired a sum of money (around £7,000 to £12,000,) on a lottery ticket win for example - would you keep it from your husband/partner?

[HulaTheHedgehog]

Just that really. ^

I was having a conversation with a few people earlier today about this, and I just wondered what people would do.

So, if you acquired/won say, £7000 to £12,000, would you keep it from your husband/partner? Or would you tell him?

(This is assuming of course, that you're able to get the money/hide it from them.)

So YANBU = yes I would keep it from him ...

And YABU = no, I would NOT keep it from him...

Also, if you DID keep it from him, WHY would you keep it from him? What would your reasons be?

Thanks in advance for commenting/voting (if you do!)

I tell DH pretty much every thought that runs through my head - although he probably wishes I didn’t.

Keeping a secret like that would be lying to him: pretending things were normal when something had changed. It would stress me out and change things between us.

HOWEVER if I thought there was any chance we’d break up then yep I’d keep it quiet.

It would be impossible to keep from him as I'd immediately spend it on a holiday he'd be going on, and he'd wonder where the money came from!

I wouldn't necessarily tell DH. I've had windfalls of similar and larger amounts from investment gains in the past, and haven't told him because it's part of my investment strategy to reinvest all gains so no point telling him. We know about each other's savings but don't update each other on exact amounts as it's all set aside for retirement and fluctuates a lot. But we're fortunate in that our income is comfortable enough that £12k wouldn't make a difference in our lifestyle, i.e. we can already afford the holidays/large purchases we want. We view all our money as ours (although in separate accounts) so splitting it wouldn't make sense.

If it was a very unexpected windfall like a lottery win or inheritance I expect I'd mention it to him because it would be an unusual thing to happen, but there wouldn't need to be much discussion about what to do with the money. I don't think he'd be very interested or want to spend it, and I'd probably be boring and add it to existing savings.

I'd tell him and we'd celebrate together. We share everything and have always had shared finances and joint accounts.

If I felt I had to lie about it for any reason then I wouldn't be in the relationship. Yes no relationship is without blemish,but for me having to lie or being lied to is a dealbreaker.

We have some shared, some separate finances, married 20 years ago at age 25. It would be easy for me to keep it secret (or for him to win and keep it secret) but he would be the first and only person I’d tell (and almost certainly vice-versa).

I wouldn't tell my husband.
I have a separate bank account, but we do share finances as well.
I have some hidden debt that could be paid off with this kind of sum.
Anything left over I would save for myself if needed in an emergency.

No reason not to tell him. Say it was £12k, I would put £10k into savings and give myself and DH £1k each to spend - £7k probably £6k into savings and £500 each to spend.

Yes I’d tell him. We have separate bank accounts, savings and investments but at the end of the day it’s all ours. He wouldn’t care what I spent it on.

I'd secretly pay £5,000 to £10,000 off our mortgage and wait for him to open the letter saying our repayments had gone down.

Of course I’d tell him! We’ve both been given/inherited sums of money in this ball park and they always go into the house in one way or another so we spend it together, even if it technically is one or the other of ours in name!

@Cuppaand2biscuits

Nope, I earn waaaay less than my husband and we keep separate finances. I'm often short of money towards the end of the month and I never have any money to treat myself whereas he can treat himself without even thinking. I'd definitely keep it for me and the kids.

That’s financial abuse, for him to leave you and the kids short

I’d tell DH, but we have separate finances so he wouldn’t have a say in how it was spent.

I’d put half in the kids accounts and half in my ISA. Well the round numbers anyway, I’d chuck any odd pound/pence in my current account up to £25.

All our finances are shared so yes I’d tell him and we’d enjoy spending it together.

I'd definitely tell, I might keep a little back eg 3000 but not all of it.
I think in reverse
We have pretty transparent finances with each other so if my partner suddenly started spended more money I'd be concerned!
I'd be annoyed if she suddenly splurged on upgrades to stuff, lots of new clothes if we haven't pre agreed it simply because I know how our finances work. I'd be fine with it if it turned out it was because it was coming from a separate source of money

I'd tell DP. Because he's trustworthy.

My exes? No fucking chance. You could probably start a fire with how fast they rubbed their hands together when I had saved or come into a couple of hundred pounds.

All our money is joint, so winning the lottery from joint money, would mean a joint win.

Definitely would tell him.

@Cuppaand2biscuits

Nope, I earn waaaay less than my husband and we keep separate finances. I'm often short of money towards the end of the month and I never have any money to treat myself whereas he can treat himself without even thinking. I'd definitely keep it for me and the kids.

Posts like this are sad.

You are meant to be a family, and that means sharing. I currently earn over 55k, and dh works part time as a delivery driver on around 14k ish (I think) I would hate to have spare cash lying around while dh (and my dc) struggled.

I’d definitely tell mine - I’d probably use the money for a holiday for us. Or maybe some for a holiday/some for other treats.

Of course I'd tell him because we'd decide what to do with it together.

We sold our car recently and gave each of us £500 spending money and the rest we put into savings.

I'd tell my partner immediately and at least some of it would be going on something that would benefit the both of us - shared holiday, some towards our savings for a house deposit etc., but certainly some would go just on myself too if I had bought the ticket with only my own money. I'd like to think he would do the same if the roles were switched.

Though I understand things are very different in precarious or abusive situations, I can't imagine why you would otherwise not share a windfall with someone you share your whole life with, and who should be your best friend. Again, I know that for many people that's a charmed position to be in though.

The only reason not to tell him would be:

A) you can’t trust him not to take it from you
B) you just don’t want to share it with him

Personally I think either of these would be a sign that something bigger is wrong between you.

I'd tell DH straight away/do a happy dance round the flat.

(Then I'd spend 1k on a nice summer holiday for everyone and the other 11k would go straight in the house deposit savings)

The way I see it if I won it we'd both have won it we share all finances, and have done since meeting as teenagers I'm a SAHM and he works full time, every penny is family money, his wages get paid into my bank (can't even remember why but they have done done for 20 years!) and I do the shopping etc and just transfer him money when he needs/wants it. If he won money and hid it from me I'd be absolutely devastated, he likes to have a bet on football and if he wins he sends it to my account.
BUT that's just the way we do things and everyone has different reasons for doing it their way.
If someone is in a relationship with a financially abusive partner I can totally see why they'd hide it, and if peoples finances are separate then it's their money to do what they please with.

DH and I have a joint account the money in that account belongs to both of us its my wages and my husband pensions so does the money in the savings account which is made up of the 25% tax free lump sum I got from my private pension and my state pension that goes in there as well so I could say its MY money but it isn't it belongs to both of us, our financial situation has worked for us for 50 years not changing it now