To ask how many people don’t remember much of their life, specifically childhood?

[Randomname85]

It’s only really dawned on me since I met my husband who remembers EVERYTHING in great detail, remembers the day he met his baby sister and asked her to play for example (he was only just 2). He remembers all the toys he had, where he always went on holiday, specific things that were said, the first film he ever watched etc etc. Even to the slightest detail ‘I first heard this song when I was getting my hair cut in the high street and it made me want to learn guitar’ - you get the picture. He’s always asking me things like ‘what were you doing New Year’s Eve 20 years ago’ and I’m like 🤷‍♀️ yet he can remember.

I can’t remember much at all 🤔 and it makes me really sad. When im asked my earliest memory I really couldn’t tell you. Of course I remember some things but not sure how old I was/when it was etc, I get strong memories when I see photos and it’s like a light switch goes on so it’s like I only have visual memory. My parents fought a lot and jt wasn’t the most pleasant experience but I don’t remember being SO unhappy that I would have blocked everything out! Plus it doesn’t explain my lack of memory the last 10+ years.

Anyone else or just me?

I remember a fair amount of it, not like your DH. But I remember things like days out, traditions, play school, weddings, events etc more like flashes front hen rather than the entire event

Sorry but it’s likely that as your parents fought you were actually blocking out quite a lot due to this trauma (with a small t- i’m not saying it was the worst childhood… but i do think it contributes to your lack of memories of this time).

I think generally people have stronger memories of things that are not the usual daily routine. I also remember when my younger siblings were born, certain Christmases & birthdays (but not all). Probably because we only got new toys & clothes & had treats on those occasions so they stood out.

As an adult, I have very strong memories of two occasions I briefly lived in other countries. Again, it was very different to going to the same workplace for years where the days all blend together!

Yep I'm the same cant remember much at all. Odd isnt it?

I remember very little which is a shame really as I had a good childhood and I’d like to remember more.

@LowlyTheWorm yeah this is what I’m sort of afraid of, it’s made me feel pretty sad! I do remember lots of shouting. Perhaps everything else has been blurred out but I had a lovely family generally and we had nice holidays and Christmas’ etc. I can remember these things when I see pictures but not otherwise.

Again, sorry, but from my albeit limited experience just talking among old friends, it seems to me: the less you remember, the unhappier you were as a child.

I can't remember much, and I still don't have a very good memory. I used to read a lot as a child, like an awful lot, and I think that's affected my memories. Also we didn't go on lots of holidays or outings, so like a pp said, maybe that there was a lot of 'routine' means I didnt take it in very much. I was well behaved and not very questioning (them, not now!). So I wonder if my personality contributed to my lack of memories. I wish I could remember more. I do remember some things obviously, but not lots.

I grew up in a violent home and have very few memories of childhood either.

I remember loads in great detail. My sister doesn't!

I don’t remember much but my older brother fills in blanks for me, thankfully.

I feel like this too, I just remember snapshots, but they're fuzzy around the edges

You'll remember so many details if you start psychotherapy ;-)

In my 20s I was lucky enough to be able to afford psychotherapy twice a week for a year. I also wrote my dreams down each morning. That experience brought so many memories to the fore.

Memories are essentially you recalling the last time that you recalled an event. Memories are rarely completely true or accurate. They're like stories. My MIL can recount all sorts of stuff from the far past but I'm pretty sure it's all just her own version of events.

I remember lots of my childhood, primary school and secondary school, but my younger sister says she remembers very little.

I have a terrible memory and in fact can't remember the names of people I only worked with about 10 years ago. I remember a few things from the past but not massive amounts. I didn't have a bad childhood as far as I know, I'm sure my two brothers would tell me as their memory seems to be better than mine.

I don't remember most of my childhood. I really only have tiny snippets of memories and have no idea of timelines of events, even very big ones. I did grow up in an abusive house with constant yelling, and I guess I spent the entire first 18 years of my life in survival mode.

Hey! I remember quite a lot!

I had a really really awful chilldhood, so not sure I agree about the hypothesis of 'the less you remember, the unhappier you were'. I remember a lot of the v difficult times. I remember being v v unhappy, especially as a teen. I remember not wanting to be alive. I remember most of the trauma from age 5 til I left home, and I remember a lot of things from then to now (40s) as well! Unfortunately I can't remember some sexual abuse I think I experienced under age 5 - but I can vividly remember forcing myself to forget it because remembering it and thinking about it at the time bought me great shame and made me feel awful. I can remember the feelings I had then, and pushing the actively pushing the memories away and trying to forget. I guess it worked! Now though I wish I could remember more of the content so I could confront the abuser, and so I could know if it did actually happen and what exactly happened.

I have very few memories too though also had a pretty traumatic childhood. My memories of the years after leaving home are pretty sketchy too.

My dad committed suicide when I was 9 and it was all pretty unhappy for lots of reasons - not just this one, although this was pretty major, obviously - I’ve always assumed that’s why I have barely any memories of my life before, say, 16. I think trauma definitely does impact your memory of childhood. When I talk with old school friends, they have extraordinary memories of school trips, who was in our class, teachers’ names, the school motto, specific incidents of bad/good behaviour. They may as well be describing someone else’s life because it’s alll gone.

My memories from my childhood are very limited and what I can remember I can't actively place at a set time. My childhood was happy! I don't think I'm blocking anything out. However there's a few reasons I've found/assumed for my lack of memories / being able to place memories.

I didn't talk till I was 3. There has been research that you don't fix memories until you can talk about them. So if I wasn't talking, I won't remember. You also have to actively remember things at the time for them to fix as a memory. This is why I remember the things I wrote about in my holiday diaries from early primary school but not stuff that happened in a random Tuesday.

I lived in the same house from when I was born till I left home. Therefore I can't fix memories based on being at a different house. My family also stayed fairly steady (parents still together, first grandparent that I knew didn't die till I was 11) so I can't fix things on before mum and dad divorced etc.

I'm an introvert and don't talk about my day to day life a lot. I can't imagine I was different as a child so going back to the first point, if I didn't talk about it, I'm not going to remember it really.

Finally, the main things I do remember are the things I did wrong or went badly or made me sad. Eg I remember the things that were embarrassing or where I felt like I'd done something wrong or when my friend wouldn't play with me. This is because I would have talked about or thought about these more.

The days that went well or I had a lovely time were "normal" and so those are the ones that just merge into one! Although I'm finding as i get older that random memories keep reappearing so who knows what I'll remember in the future!

I'm the same as you OP. I can remember specific things / occasions / snapshots of time but great swathes of my life have just melted away. Every so often a Facebook memory will come up featuring a person or place or occasion I've got no idea about.

My Mum on the other hand can tell me every meal she's eaten in every restaurant ever, and what everyone was wearing at the time

I’m the same, I don’t really remember a lot. I don’t think this is related to childhood unhappiness though as it also applies to everything that happens in my adulthood as well. Friends are always mentioning things that happened or even people that I dated that I genuinely have no recollection of. I think memories form when you recall them a lot, and so maybe it just means I don’t spend very long pondering the past and recalling events. I also do things like struggle to recall names of people I should definitely know the names of. I am pretty intelligent and good with “concepts” and understanding ideas, communicating etc - just recall isn’t my strong suit!

I had been thinking I should maybe start a journal. It’s just that all previous journals full of navel gazing have been so deeply embarrassing to reread that I am rather put off the idea haha. But maybe if I just did a factual journal of things that happened each month, that would help me remember the basic gist of it! Like movies watched and restaurants visited and thoughts about them.

I can't remember much either. I think it is because of trauma.

I'd consider your husband family are they story tellers, do they have lots photos or home video s?
I find lots people childhood memories are put together from seeing old photos or people telling stories not actually remembered in head too recall.
I have a big family siblings cousins ECT and always amazes me the few who have 'memories' they don't always line up with each other ECT or I spot differences but same people often recall same memories.
I wouldn't worry about it too much I think it more base on personality type rather then type of upbringing.