To ask how many people don’t remember much of their life, specifically childhood?

[Randomname85]

It’s only really dawned on me since I met my husband who remembers EVERYTHING in great detail, remembers the day he met his baby sister and asked her to play for example (he was only just 2). He remembers all the toys he had, where he always went on holiday, specific things that were said, the first film he ever watched etc etc. Even to the slightest detail ‘I first heard this song when I was getting my hair cut in the high street and it made me want to learn guitar’ - you get the picture. He’s always asking me things like ‘what were you doing New Year’s Eve 20 years ago’ and I’m like 🤷‍♀️ yet he can remember.

I can’t remember much at all 🤔 and it makes me really sad. When im asked my earliest memory I really couldn’t tell you. Of course I remember some things but not sure how old I was/when it was etc, I get strong memories when I see photos and it’s like a light switch goes on so it’s like I only have visual memory. My parents fought a lot and jt wasn’t the most pleasant experience but I don’t remember being SO unhappy that I would have blocked everything out! Plus it doesn’t explain my lack of memory the last 10+ years.

Anyone else or just me?

My DH remembers almost nothing from his childhood. I have no reason to think it was unhappy but I mentioned it to someone I know who is a therapist. They immediately said that is a flag for unhappy/repressed memories. Not an absolute sign but can be indicative. Tbh I think my DH is just forgetful.

My memory is shocking, I hardly remember a thing of my life.
Random facts on the other hand…

My episodic memory has always been bad, not just from childhood, but any events from more than a year or two ago, unless it was something very signifiant or emotive. My father said he was the same and so does my son. My sister,mum and daughter, on the other hand, remember everything. I think it's an individual thing and possibly runs in families.

I don't remember very much at all. My dad was an invalid from when I was in primary school and although I was in my early 20s when he died, I barely remember him in detail. But he was away in hospital a lot, often at great distance, so that may have something to do with it but I think trauma definitely causes memory loss.

It makes me very sad that I have so few memories, both of him and my other family.

My brother, however, who was quite a lot younger, remembers huge amounts.

I don't remember anything and I certainly wasn't unhappy, don't have any trauma I just don't remember much (great memory for some things just not others)
DH who had lots of trauma remembers it all, I often think it would be better if he didnt

Another one here with very poor medium to long-term memory. And I had a fairly miserable childhood in some ways; not abuse, but prolonged periods of emotional distress/fear and lack of stability or security.

I do vaguely wonder if it’s related. But then again I still struggle to fix long-term memories now, including memories of lovely times with my DP, who makes me feel safe and happy, or my children, who I uncomplicatedly adore, so 🤷‍♀️

My short-term memory is good though, and I am well organized and reliable day to day.

On the plus side, I can often re-read plot-driven fiction or re-watch mystery programmes with total enjoyment, having forgotten all the details.

@jclm

You'll remember so many details if you start psychotherapy ;-)

In my 20s I was lucky enough to be able to afford psychotherapy twice a week for a year. I also wrote my dreams down each morning. That experience brought so many memories to the fore.

I rarely remember my dreams, but if I do they’re invariably horrible, with someone chasing me trying to kill me!

I don’t remember much at all from my childhood, I would say I have about a dozen memories and some are bad some are good. I’m terrible with names and remembering places even now.

I remember very little.

It's a running joke with my parents and siblings that l'm actually 'Dawn" from Buffy and am in fact a Mystical Being.. just for clarity....I'm not...and there are lots of photos and cinefilm of me growing up

I recall things like your DH. 1st memory age 2/3. Pooing in my big girl underpants at my front door while mum tried frantically to find the front door key! A sleeper train age 3 to the country side. In operating theatre age 4 as the black mask went on my face and felt the cannula in my left hand. Waking up in the ward and there was 1 TV on the wall for the whole room of children in beds (1980s). I can't recall every day, but remember far more of my childhood, holidays, birthdays, events etc than my younger brother.

I'm not fantastic with names, but have a very good sense of direction and can find my way back to a place I've only been to once before- even years later.

My DH is the complete opposite. Parents divorced when he was young, step father and brother came on the scene. He wasn't physically abused, but emotionally from a 'care giver'. He recalls very little of those times- generally the emotional abuse. He also ha sa dreadful sense of direction. We moved house 18mths ago and he still struggles to find shops which are 15min away. I have no idea if directions and general memories are linked- but seems they are in our case.

I’m the same as you op!

I remember very nearly nothing, but my sister can remember loads /everything

Nothing before 7, only patchy between 7 and 12 or so and then more concrete from 12 onwards. I’ve built a picture from what I’ve been told but don’t really trust it. Had a difficult childhood (parents were alcoholics). I have had psychotherapy but couldn’t get anything back from that. My memory is alright now!

Oh and I forgot the surname of the first proper boyfriend I had — we went out for months, he was the first person I had sex with and I thought I loved him — but several years later? Gone.

I managed to trace him online last year (not to make contact, just because I was so annoyed with myself for not being able to remember) and was so proud of myself — it had been almost thirty years! But right now, as I type, I’ve already forgotten his surname again 🙄

@BlueRaincoat1 I pretty much could have written this - I remember loads of things from all the reading I did as a child, but I have hardly any memories of my actual childhood! However, I don't remember much from my children's early years, either - I would love to properly remember their first steps, etc. I think maybe it's not that unusual.

I've got a good memory for facts I learned as a child eg Maths, history, general knowledge etc.
I hardly remember anything about my actual life. It appears I have selective memory.

I had difficult teenage years and remember very little of those. My early childhood was happier and my memories of being primary school age are much stronger, so I agree with pp that adversity affects memory. Makes me wish I could afford therapy now!

to those who have experienced trauma

I can hardly remember anything and had a pretty unhappy childhood

I can only really remember the shit things.

Get taking to hospital on my dad's motorbike as a preschooler with a tea towel wrapped around my hand. Being told by a neighbour my dad had been in an accident. Almost drowning. My little brother having a massive boulder chucked on his head.

Only a couple fleeting good memories of playing down the beach with db.

OMG I'm glad it's not just me!! I remember very little of my childhood- I had a brilliant upbringing etc- but my memories are minimal.No trauma or anything like that, just a poor memory. My brother will mention things to me and I haven't got a clue what he's talking about. Bit sad really...

People remember much more from early childhood if rehearsed, eg talking over family anecdotes again and again. Actually we reconstruct the memories in a large part when recalling them so a lot of the memories are not "real" if you see what I mean, but a result of repeatedly reimagining the events and remembering what we imagined

@BlueRaincoat1

I can't remember much, and I still don't have a very good memory. I used to read a lot as a child, like an awful lot, and I think that's affected my memories. Also we didn't go on lots of holidays or outings, so like a pp said, maybe that there was a lot of 'routine' means I didnt take it in very much. I was well behaved and not very questioning (them, not now!). So I wonder if my personality contributed to my lack of memories. I wish I could remember more. I do remember some things obviously, but not lots.

This is me!!

It's the other way around in my house, my husband who has lovely parents and a lovely childhood can barely remember anything growing up, but I had a shitty childhood and managed to not block anything out! You never know it might have done you some favours if ya folks argued lots but then again if I had the choice I probably would still chose to remember just for self preservation purposes of knowing that people can be shits 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don’t remember much and had a fairly unhappy childhood. It wasn’t abusive but mum and stepdad had a toxic and turbulent relationship.

I actually remember very little before about 22. I think I’ve shut but if my brain off.

I can remember so much from my childhood it is crazy. I can even remember dreams I had. My parents think I should donate my brain to science when I die haha.

I can remember so many different settings and things I used to do. Quite nice to remember as I had a lovely childhood.