To ask how many people don’t remember much of their life, specifically childhood?

[Randomname85]

It’s only really dawned on me since I met my husband who remembers EVERYTHING in great detail, remembers the day he met his baby sister and asked her to play for example (he was only just 2). He remembers all the toys he had, where he always went on holiday, specific things that were said, the first film he ever watched etc etc. Even to the slightest detail ‘I first heard this song when I was getting my hair cut in the high street and it made me want to learn guitar’ - you get the picture. He’s always asking me things like ‘what were you doing New Year’s Eve 20 years ago’ and I’m like 🤷‍♀️ yet he can remember.

I can’t remember much at all 🤔 and it makes me really sad. When im asked my earliest memory I really couldn’t tell you. Of course I remember some things but not sure how old I was/when it was etc, I get strong memories when I see photos and it’s like a light switch goes on so it’s like I only have visual memory. My parents fought a lot and jt wasn’t the most pleasant experience but I don’t remember being SO unhappy that I would have blocked everything out! Plus it doesn’t explain my lack of memory the last 10+ years.

Anyone else or just me?

I'm the opposite. I remember very vividly moments of my childhood. I remember my first day of nursery for example or my mother changing my nappy etc. I also have very clear recollection of specific times/days/people/feelings all when I was very young. However I struggle to recall memories of just a few years ago.

Wondering if it's something similar to the recent thread 'can you do the following inside your head' where Mumsnetters were discussing if they could a) see and image in their head b) play a video clip in their head c) play music in their head etc. I had no idea people could do this as I can't picture anything In my head. Wondering if it's why I can't recall memories vividly.

I remember loads of my childhood back to when I was two (I remember my birthday). I can remember every song that was played on radio 2 from about 1976 onwards. Always driving DH mad as is 4 years older than me and I can’t believe he doesn’t remember all the random pop songs from back then. We moved a lot (army) and I wonder whether it’s because of the moving I remember (that memory was Germany, the other Cyprus, then N Ireland etc). I was very lonely and sad most of the time, or that’s how I remember it. DH lived in the same house until he left home so I wonder whether that makes his memories less distinct?

I thought it was just me! I don't remember much from my childhood at all, and I cannot remember people's names,or sometimes even faces. I read a lot, and remember books with no trouble.
I had a stroke when I was v young, and forgot almost everything except how to read.

My cousin said he can’t remember anything before he was 17 (he’s now 40) I’m very similar, I can’t remember much bar really stand out stuff eg breaking my arm. People telling me they remember details from age 2 just strikes me as weird.

I think my earliest memory is when I was three and I was starting nursery. I clearly remember a lot about P1 when I was four. I remember being in hospital when I was three and again when I was four. Especially when I was four - I can still picture the bed I was in on the ward, and I can remember how noisy it was at night.

I don’t remember everything - or when they happened - but I remember all family holidays sone I was four.

There were no dramatic events in my early childhood, no deaths and no house moves so no markers for why year it was when things happened. But I can still picture the big metal cot they made me sleep in at the hospital when I was three, and the outrage I felt because I was not a baby and I slept on a regular bed at home.

I couldn't remember much, I had an abusive upbringing. My sister told my eldest DD some stuff and she asked me about the incidents, which triggered more memories. I did remember ok times, they usually involved not being at home. My earliest memory was just under 2. I remember when we moved house when I was three. We moved away from family and that's when the violence really started.

I don’t remember much, nothing to do with trauma, I had a happy, stable childhood. My DH remembers much more of his childhood (also happy) and of our life together than I do.

I'm another who doesn't fit with "remember loads = happy childhood."

Unfortunately for your husband, it's quite likely he has invented many of those memories, or taken them from other people's stories etc. It's actually quite common -

www.bbc.com/future/article/20190516-why-you-cannot-trust-your-earliest-childhood-memories

Our memories are fare more fallible and manipulated than we like to believe. It is also possible to plant false memories in people - one study I learned about convinced a group of people they had been on a hot air balloon ride as a child, complete with doctored photographs. The participants were able to describe the experience in detail and claimed to remember it, even though it was completely fictional.

I remember fuck all, OP, you're not alone. I didn't have any especial childhood trauma, I just have a bad memory.

Memories aren’t factual, many people “remember” a story differently. I don’t remember a huge amount from my childhood but it was very happy. I always assumed it was because I’ve had a very busy and full life since, there just isn’t room in my brain for lots of earlier memories!

I think we keep memories alive by revisiting them. I write journals and have found it's amazing how much I've forgotten, even things that sound like they would have been memorable. Or we remember things inexactly, or forget where they were in relation to one another- like , you might think 2 events occurred years apart then they were actually the same weekend.

I barely remember anything. A handful of memories across my whole childhood, find it very strange.

My memory isn't detailed.
I only seem to remember photos from my childhood, rather than having visual memories of my own.
This is how it's always been and I turn 60 this year. I've just got more photos to trigger memories now than I used to as a child.
I totally refute that I'm hiding memories of trauma, it's just how my memory works.
I can remember facts relating to my work (situation x happened before, don't remember how long ago but I remember you do y to fix it) which impresses colleagues.

I thought I had excellent recall. Then I read my old diaries from 13-19 and realised I'd forgotten or mangled an awful lot.

Memory is intriguing, it could just be how your mind works, it could be as others have said SDAM. My DSis and I recall shared events and different things. Apparently I’ve repressed my dad’s trifle sneeze, she swears I was there 🤧😳

I don’t think this is you but I found this episode of Room 5 fascinating as it talks about repressing memories. This case featured a woman who had blocked memories of her sister and their childhood because her sister died from a rare virus. She was traumatised but didn’t deal with it properly which channeled her into other bad behaviours.

Twenty years on, Gavanndra is struggling to make sense of a childhood trauma. Then she meets a psychologist who has an idea.
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m00146w0

Unhappy childhood too. Only child with very judgemental parents. Couldn't do anything right. Can't really remember a lot.

I had an astonishingly traumatic childhood, lots of big T trauma then and later, and I can remember back to when I was a toddler.

I think there is a lot of variance in memory, and what effects it.

If we revisit memories and think about them a lot, it recreates the memory in the brain, a bit like tracing over pencil writing with pen, and the memory last longer. If you dwell many times on a specific incident then you’ll remember it forever.

If you rarely think about the past then the detail of your memories will fade quickly.

Perhaps your DH is someone who often thinks about his past, and you are not.

Sleep deprivation also messes with memory so perhaps DH gets more sleep than you 😬

To answer your question, I remember some events vividly: meeting my first dog, starting school, first holiday abroad, etc, but the time before and after that is blanked out. It’s like a page that’s been torn out of a book.

I haven’t got much in the way of childhood memories. It was happy but things like holidays all merge into just a feeling of happiness - I can’t remember what happened where. My nuclear family all died early (before I was 35) and I get upset about all these lost memories. My GP says that it’s because I have nobody to reinforce them with, and to write them down, but it isn’t easy.

I remember very little and I had a lovely childhood. My sister remembers everything in great detail.

DS and I both remember back to being 3. He reminded me of a trip on a boat that I didn't recall first off, but it was part of a wider day out and he was right once he'd given enough details to jog my memory.
I can remember things that don't have photos like the puppies on the farm the day we got the dog, and the room on holiday with the bunk beds.
I moved house and that created a clear definition part-way through childhood.

DH doesn't remember much but it was a monotonous childhood. Holidays in literally the same caravan every year. No days out. Same routine week in week out. When his siblings reached adulthood and he began visiting them in places where they settled, he has more stories of his later teenage years. There are also few family photos. Half of the ones that exist are of them all lined up for the Communuon/ Confirmation and the child wearing the rosette changing each time. His mother's been in the same house for 60+ years.

This is me and my DH - he remembers EVERYTHING- it used to upset me until I realised hang on who's to say they are 'right' memories?

I remember vague ideas and feelings but nothing detailed. My family often say not do you remember when/ where/ and nope I have absolutely no idea! I think it's just my brain