Anyone else hate the thought of being centre of attention at a wedding?

[Neverafrownwithgoldenbrown]

Or did you go through with it and it wasn't as bad as you thought?
I'm a very shy person and I really don't like the thought of having all eyes on me all day, everyone commenting on my dress and how I look, having to talk to people all day long).

I'd love to get married but really don't like the thought of this, maybe I should just go to a registry office if my partner's happy with that?

Anyone else ?

I am very shy and I hate everything about a big wedding so we eloped and got married in the US, just DH & I, it was wonderful. It was so much cheaper (200$ for the ceremony!) And we could pick a lovely outdoor spot just outside the Grand Canyon, away from anyone else. Then had a US road trip for our honeymoon. Highly recommend it!

Yep, had less than two dozen guests, which was at least a dozen more than I wanted. Parents insisted they had to come and also invite my siblings, which then became more about my pregnant sister and her travel and accommodation wishes. Would have been happy with just dh, me and the kids. Wish we’d never told them until after the wedding.

Felt the exact same. We eloped just the two of us. No regrets!

We're having an 80 person wedding so I suppose you could say mine is a "big day" although I have no intention of being a 'zilla. I dont fish for attention/insist groups be all about me/aim to draw a crowd but I did a lot of acting lessons and public speaking growing up, and then did public facing jobs so I think I have the self confidence for the fact that eyes usually are on the bride not to phase me. DP is the shy one out the two of us but he has a biggish family and despite his shyness, wants the people he loves there. Neither if us ever thought we'd get married so we're happy to embrace it a bit I think. I wouldn't do it again though!

Despite me being the more confident, he also had to really persuade me to have a photographer. I hate being photographed. I reckon I look better in the flesh and really didn't see the need- I am very unlikely to like any of the ones of myself or ever wish to display any of them. I've got no interest in even looking at them. The thought of the wedding doesn't phase me- the thought of a photographer being there makes me very on edge. I would happily institute a complete photography ban tbh.

I'd love to marry my partner at some point. The idea of literally anyone seeing us kiss or have a first dance makes my skin crawl, though. Wish we didn't even need witnesses to get married, half tempted to have a totally private ceremony with nobody we know there and then just a reception with everyone close to us immediately afterward

We got married on our own, no guests but not registry office-beautiful hotel that offers a “just us” package. It was great although some family fallout.

I hate being watched, but we have planned the full day of celebrations this year. I'm just getting over myself. I figure everyone will be there to support us. Also isn't it good to have something for people to look forward to. Everyone is so excited 😆

I felt the same OP, but ended up not really noticing! Apart from the bit where we walked down the aisle and I was acutely aware of it, but also so nervous-excited I was going to throw up, it was fine.

We both hate being centre of attention but for various reasons we did want a fairly big wedding, so we:

• Did the shortest possible ceremony, literally about 12 minutes start to finish, no flowery declarations of everlasting passion or weepy vows, just 'Do you want to be married? Yes? Good'

• No first dance by ourselves - encouraged everyone to come up

• No cake cutting (we had loads of different desserts)

• Time after ceremony/during drinks reception just the two of us - we had a shot of tequila and hid in an upstairs organisers' office getting ready to face the guests haha

• Invented reasons to run off for a minute - our event organiser knew if I gave her A Look to come and grab me 'for something important'

• Neither me nor DH did speeches, we only had 1 speech from the MOH who did all the thanking!

• No 'top table' for everyone to look at - we did long banquety tables and street food so people milled about and DH and I moved around to sit with various people

I just want to sign a piece of paper. I really don't want to have to read out vows at all.

@Snozzlemaid

I just want to sign a piece of paper. I really don't want to have to read out vows at all.

Unlucky.

@Snozzlemaid

I just want to sign a piece of paper. I really don't want to have to read out vows at all.

You can do that if you choose a civil partnership.

I hate the idea too, me and dp have been engaged for about a decade now, no wedding in sight! Every time I actually give any thought to an actual wedding I get so stressed out I just can't be bothered with it at all. I'd be perfectly happy for us to just nip into the registry office one afternoon with just our children there but worried about upsetting/offending family. I can't bear the idea of being watched or being complimented or commented on at all, I don't want any of that!

If you are financially independent @Picklypickles there is no need to get married. If you are a SAHP and financially dependent on your DP then you really do need to get married because you are vulnerable if anything happens to your partner.

If you want to be married just go and do it. You really don't need to be the centre of attention to get married. Deal with the family fall out if and when it happens.