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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who pays if we all go out for the day for my kids birthday?

83 replies

Altah · 10/04/2022 17:23

Let's say we are all going out to something like a zoo or a safari park for the kids birthday.

Not really a party, but a fun activity on the day.

Should I be buying everyone's tickets?

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 10/04/2022 17:24

Who is we and how many of them are there?

TheFlis12345 · 10/04/2022 17:24

Who is ‘we’, who else are you inviting?

Quartz2208 · 10/04/2022 17:25

Who is going?

Pizzadreams · 10/04/2022 17:25

Think you need to say who we is.

gamerchick · 10/04/2022 17:25

Depends on how you asked. An invitation to attend your child's birthday outing then you pay, a suggestion would they like to come then they do.

I'd clear it up right from the off by sending a list of admission prices if you dont want to and a no gift thing as they're not cheap.

SickAndTiredAgain · 10/04/2022 17:25

Who is going with you? And how did the situation happen? Your child’s friends who you’ve invited, I’d say yes you should pay. Grandparents who have asked to see your child on their birthday and were told they were welcome to come along to the zoo, they should pay.

jmh740 · 10/04/2022 17:26

If you are asking someone to go out then you should pay.

BarnDance · 10/04/2022 17:26

Depends completely on who it is.

If you are taking the eight year old friend of your dd then you pay.
If you are going with your brother, his wife and two children then they pay for their own tickets.

junglejane66 · 10/04/2022 17:27

Yes and the ice creams as well

Original poster
Altah · 10/04/2022 17:27

would be inviting anyone who wishes to attend. My friend and their kids, partners friend and their kids. My brother, his partner, their kids. Grandparents.

OP posts:
AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 10/04/2022 17:27

Do we have ti guess the situation? Grin

Hunderland · 10/04/2022 17:28

If child friends then yes, you pay.

If grown ups / family, make sure it's clear if they are to pay, then they can choose if they want to come.

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 10/04/2022 17:29

If its grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins I'd say everyone pays for themselves but perhaps you pack a birthday lunch.

If it's friends and their children / friends of your child then you pay.

Keep in mind you may get a discount for a group opposed to individual ticket prices.

TeddyTonks · 10/04/2022 17:29

I would expect to pay for myself and my DC in this scenario. Perhaps suggest a picnic lunch so its not too expensive for everyone. Might be nice if you took along a cake or something to share (DC could blow out candles too). Don't take offence if people don't come, not everyone will be able to afford it.

Rosebuud · 10/04/2022 17:30

This is basically a birthday party and you’re inviting so yes you should pay.

The other option is you invite people and say cost is x if you wish to Join us.

Miyazaker · 10/04/2022 17:31

We pay if meeting grandparents at the zoo for a dc's birthday as they're only coming for the child and not because they want to visit the zoo in its own right. People with their own young kids probably not.

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 10/04/2022 17:32

I don't think there's a definitive answer, but you need to be clear either way. So either say you will pay for the children, or ask if people would like to come, it'll be everyone paying for their own tickets but you'll bring birthday cake or something like that. Then everyone can say yes or no knowing what it involves.

Quincythequince · 10/04/2022 17:32

If you invited them, yes.

If you have made it clear you’re not paying, then obvious no.

AliTheMinx · 10/04/2022 17:32

I would imagine adults would offer to pay for themselves, although that shouldn't be presumed and depends on personal circumstances. I think it depends on how they are invited.

dottiedodah · 10/04/2022 17:32

Yes children you pay .Everyone else pays for themselves! I would expect to pay if it were me being asked.unless you are a millionaire it's very expensive!

QuillBill · 10/04/2022 17:33

I think you are muddying the waters by saying 'inviting' and by having friends and family.

If I was your friend and you asked me to go to the zoo with you and your child for her birthday that would be fine. I would assume that you and I would have a nice chat and the dc would play and enjoy being together.

However if there were grandparents and uncles then that would not be an enjoyable day for me as your friend. Spending the day with other peoples parents.

OceanAtTheEnd · 10/04/2022 17:37

@Rosebuud

This is basically a birthday party and you’re inviting so yes you should pay.

The other option is you invite people and say cost is x if you wish to Join us.

This, it's a slightly odd thing to do, so you need to be very clear when you invite people.
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 10/04/2022 17:38

Is it...
We are going to the zoo on this date. Feel free to join us if you want to.
Or...
Come with us to celebrate DC birthday at the zoo on X date.

First scenario... people buy own tickets. Second scenario, actively inviting, you pay.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 10/04/2022 17:39

Depends how you word it

"We are spending the day at Chester Zoo for Jacks birthday - feel free to come along if you fancy it, we could all bring picnics. We will be there from 10. Text if you come along and we can meet at a good spot"

EdgyNeonAnt · 10/04/2022 17:41

I would send a link to admission prices or let them know what it will cost if they want to go. Guaranteed you'll get at least one person expecting turning up expecting a free day out otherwise!

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