Who pays if we all go out for the day for my kids birthday?

[Altah]

Let's say we are all going out to something like a zoo or a safari park for the kids birthday.

Not really a party, but a fun activity on the day.

Should I be buying everyone's tickets?

OP, I’d this is a birthday celebration, just pay.

If the zoo is too much, pay for something you can afford.

Don’t expect people to pay to attend a party at a zoo as they will obviously buy a present, and need to buy food too.

It’s a lot of money.

Pay, or change the venue.

I hate it when people do this - birthday celebration for their kids off other peoples backs.

It depends on your invite.

We would like you to join us for Johnny’s birthday- Johnny’s parents pay for the tickets.

We are taking Johnny to the zoo on X date for his birthday. Anyone who fancies it is welcome to join us- everyone pays for themselves.

If I invited my mum and dad, and brothers abs new phew to the zoo for my child’s bday, I would pay.

Otherwise; have them round for tea, cake and birthday party food, music and a few games!

Kids will enjoy it - family gathering, you’ve covered the lot.

Yes

If your inviting people then yes you pay.

It depends on the age of the DC. If it's a "family " outing that happens to be on your DCs birthday then everyone pays themselves, if DC is at preschool and there are a number of DCs then you pay.

However you cannot invite anyone to an event you're not paying for. So I'd say something like " we're going to zoo on x date , would be great if you wanted to join us for a big day out ( link to admission prices)We thought we'd do a picnic for anyone who came, and of course cake. Let me know if you're planning to come along"

Depends how you word it. If you're expecting people to pay for themselves, good to reference the entry price in your message. 'We're planning to celebrate X's birthday at the zoo. If you'd like to join us, it's £X for adults and £X for children'.

I wouldn't necessarily expect to be paid for at the zoo or similar places. If it was somewhere my DC would enjoy, I'd be pleased to join a bigger group since they're an only child and enjoy experiences more when there are other children around (plus cake for the birthday!).

It's interesting to read the very different, but very definite responses.

I initially thought 'maybe we should pay'. Partner thinks I am totally over thinking it.

The reality is we don't want to have a party, but don't want to stop people from being able to see him on his birthday.

I would be absolutely not offended if no one wanted to join us.

Everyone should pay for themselves if it is family attending.

If you are inviting children that aren't relatives then you should pay for their ticket.

People may well want to come. As an adult it's good to have an excuse to go to the zoo. We're going with our two year old niece next weekend ( we're paying).

How about saying 'We're off to the zoo next Saturday for Boris's birthday. If you fancy it you're welcome to join (entry is £15 each) - we can treat you all to lunch/we'll bring a picnic for us all to enjoy!'

The reality is we don't want to have a party, but don't want to stop people from being able to see him on his birthday.

I'd do a birthday cake and coffee type thing at home after the zoo for the family if this is what I wanted. It's not fair to make grandparents etc think they've got to pay an expensive entry fee just to see the birthday boy. If you particularly want them to be at the zoo with you all, then you'd have to pay for their tickets.

I'm taking my daughter and 3 friends out for the day for her birthday soon, I'll be paying for them. one of the mums may come along, so she will pay for herself. I'll mention about a few pounds spending money for sweets to the parents but otherwise its on me as its a treat for my daughters birthday, so I feel I should pay.

If your not paying I'd be saying from the offset how much it'll cost.

@QuillBill

I think you are muddying the waters by saying 'inviting' and by having friends and family.

If I was your friend and you asked me to go to the zoo with you and your child for her birthday that would be fine. I would assume that you and I would have a nice chat and the dc would play and enjoy being together.

However if there were grandparents and uncles then that would not be an enjoyable day for me as your friend. Spending the day with other peoples parents.

This; for me. I’d be happy to come and pay for myself, but I wouldn’t really want to spend the day with friends families, generally. I feel like it’d be quite awkward.

Seems a bit grabby tbh. What’s wrong with a cup of tea and slice of cake at home or in the park?

It depends how the invite is sent.
sending a text / note: “You are invited to…” = you pay.
Whereas a more casual invite:

“What you doing for Bobby’s birthday?”
“Going to the zoo. Do you want to join us? You’re most welcome, Bobby’d love to see you” = they pay.

So you don’t want a party and you’re not fussed about the zoo?

🤷🏼‍♀️

Why do anything then?

How old is she?

Has this kind of event been done in your family before? If so, what did everybody do?

Tea and cake at home would be so much easier tbh!

@SafelySoftly

Seems a bit grabby tbh. What’s wrong with a cup of tea and slice of cake at home or in the park?

Does that mean greedy? You think I'm greedy because I'm going to the zoo? Or because I don't know if I should buy tickets for everyone? That an interesting take!

In that case I'd tell them at the point of casual invitation that you'll not be paying.

In nicer words, obviously.

But not a poem. Never a poem.

Cyril's birthday falls next Sunday
So we're planning a fabathon fun day!!
Come along if you like, to join the play!
Although for your good selves you'll have to pay

Yes, you should pay. If you don't want to at least make it very clear you are not paying

This is a bit of a weird arrangement - sorry. If someone invited me somewhere for their child’s birthday, I would expect them to pay for it. Probably easier if you keep the zoo for family and ask any friends to your house for cake afterwards.

@Quincythequince

So you don’t want a party and you’re not fussed about the zoo?

🤷🏼‍♀️

Why do anything then?

How old is she?

Has this kind of event been done in your family before? If so, what did everybody do?

Tea and cake at home would be so much easier tbh!

I said we don't want a party. We do want to go out and mark the day. I said I wouldn't be offended if no one chose to join us, but I don't want to actively exclude anyone.

If you're not going to pay, then I would at least make a big picnic for everyone, so that they're not going to have to shell out for food too!

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

Is it... We are going to the zoo on this date. Feel free to join us if you want to. Or... Come with us to celebrate DC birthday at the zoo on X date.

First scenario... people buy own tickets. Second scenario, actively inviting, you pay.

Yes I would agree with this.

@Lipsandlashes

This is a bit of a weird arrangement - sorry. If someone invited me somewhere for their child’s birthday, I would expect them to pay for it. Probably easier if you keep the zoo for family and ask any friends to your house for cake afterwards.

It won't be a case of sending out invites.

Anyone who asked what we are doing, I've said that they're welcome to join.

Nearer the time I was thinking I'd text everyone and say when we're planning to set off.