Who pays if we all go out for the day for my kids birthday?

[Altah]

Let's say we are all going out to something like a zoo or a safari park for the kids birthday.

Not really a party, but a fun activity on the day.

Should I be buying everyone's tickets?

Based on what you have told us, I would avoid sending what can be seen as proactive invitations (as this could lead to awkward conversations about who pays... Which could end up being very expensive for you) however if people are asking you what you are planning as they would like to join you, then it's up to you whether you a) let them know and tell them they're welcome to join (in which case they would pay) or b) let them know and tell them you're going as a small family but they're welcome to join you at home for cake afterwards.

Go to the zoo as a family then invite who you like for a party tea in the evening, easy!

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Depends how you word it

"We are spending the day at Chester Zoo for Jacks birthday - feel free to come along if you fancy it, we could all bring picnics. We will be there from 10. Text if you come along and we can meet at a good spot"

This sounds good :)

Id say if its a birthday event for your kid and they wouldnt usually choose to do that then you pay for your guests.
I absolutely would not pay to go to a zoo with someone elses kid.

Typical birthday behaviour
• Small tea party/cup of tea and cake at home
• Bigger party
• Treating own child to day out/experience
• Relax at own with birthday tea

I think to choose the zoo and then invite people you need to be very clear
E.g. ‘We’re going to the zoo for their birthday. Obviously it’s expensive so we’re not expecting anyone to join us although you’re welcome to. Just to let you know, you get a discount if you book online.
Alternatively, we’ll be back about 3 if you want to call in anytime after 4.’

I get you OP. You’ve made an arrangement for your child’s birthday. In an effort not to make anyone feel like you’re ‘keeping the child away from them’ on its birthday, you’ve extended the invitation for them to join you.

I’m this situation then onus to pay is on them. You’re not inviting them to a birthday celebration.

I'm not sure the zoo works with a large group - it would be fine if it was just you and the GPs, but more might be tricky. It's also quite an expensive way for people to see your child on their birthday, if they're expected to pay. You run the risk that either people feel obliged to come even if they'd rather not, or that they end up not seeing your child because they hate zoos or can't afford it.

If the zoo is next door to a park or something, you could do an invite to a picnic in the park and say "we're going on to the zoo afterwards - you're welcome to join us if you want". Or as someone else suggested, offer a cup of tea and a piece of cake at yours afterwards, or even on another day.

Families are very different about birthdays - some seem to have a family gathering for every birthday, some celebrate a few milestone birthdays, some only get together once a year. But even if yours is an every-birthday sort of family, it's fine to say "we're going out for the day, but do pop round for a slice of cake at 4pm/at the weekend".

@Altah

Let's say we are all going out to something like a zoo or a safari park for the kids birthday.

Not really a party, but a fun activity on the day.

Should I be buying everyone's tickets?

We have a family member that won't do traditional parties, so we would be deemed unreasonable to not go along, but it really irks that it's their choice/laziness and costs me £100 in entrance fees, travel and food costs.

Imo, if inviting others, then as the host or parent of the birthday children, you pay!