Feel horrendously ill. He’s gone to sleep.

[inacuppa]

Not really an AIBU and I know I need to leave. But don’t want to face up to it.
I have been feeling dreadful lately - honestly I think I am burnt out with the amount I have been doing. I am not getting much sleep with 7mo, have another dd and we have just moved house. So been run ragged and doing way more than I should. I have been feeling awfully depressed and sometimes when I feel like this I just don’t stop to block it out.
Anyway..about an hour ago I was feeding 8mo when I started shaking uncontrollably. My body is in awful pain and all I can describe it as is really bad muscle spasms. I’ve never had this before and was really frightened so I text OH to come upstairs. He laid with me for 45 mins with me still shaking until I asked him to run a bath for me.
Been sat in here an hour now with it scolding hot to try and ease the pain. I don’t have any energy to get out and feel like I could just sleep. This sounds very dramatic but genuinely how I feel.
Anyway about 20 minutes ago I heard him snoring. He doesn’t give a shit does he? This comes after crisis talks about our relationship and me feeling like he doesn’t care as well.

All the best op

If you honestly feel this physically ill then wake DH, he can pile kids in car and take you to A&E. No need for him to go in with you, best he gets kids back to bed and settled as you will be there for ages and no point him hanging around with kids if that age.

Hopefully op is asleep and all is well

I hope you’re ok and this is not something serious op.

Hope you are ok. Yes it does sound like rigors I’ve had this twice once was mastitis and the other was COVID couldn’t stop shaking . Usually means an infection Paracetamol helped and had to get antibiotics for mastitis . I’d def seek medical attention if you are still poorly

Hoping OP is asleep and well

Hi everyone I’m so so sorry for leaving you hanging and those that have tried to get me help. I feel so guilty you are all so kind. I’ve just got up to take some paracetamol and do a covid test (negative). I feel very hot/sweating but my temp is normal. Dd has been up a lot, OH has just come down and taken her off my hands. Going to ring 111 now. Will let you know
Whoever asked about PND. I do and am on waiting list for counselling. As much as I feel this way, I would never leave my girls. Thank you for asking.

@EthelsAuntie I hope you are better soon

Glad you're ringing 111 - sending love and hoping you're feeling loads better soon x

I'm so glad you're getting help with your PND. I've been there so I know how you feel.

Also glad you're calling 111. Been thinking about you, ever since you posted..

You do sound very stressed, deal with your physical illness today. Good you're seeking counselling as well.

Please call for help ASAP. I would say phone 999 if you have rigours.i had sepsis and this is what happened to me .hopefully you haven't got it but you need checking fast

Hi @inacuppa
I had this and it was mastitis. Couldn’t stop doing these incredible shiver/shakes. It got better quickly with antibiotics. Hope you get well soon.

Thank you @inacuppa. I'm glad you have called 111. Hopefully they can sort you out with some medicine to make you feel better. I hope it doesn't turn out to be sepsis, I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Tbh felling asleep near midnight whilst someone in the bath for 45 minutes whilst you have two small children..vvvv normal. Op ring 111 hope you feeling better now x

Hope you're resting OP. This is how covid started for me. Any chance you have that?

I'm worried rigors could be a sign of serious infection. Are you breastfeeding? Please go today to an out of hours service and get examined and insist on getting bloods taken.
I've heard of this before in women with babies . Just because your temperature wasn't high when you've checked it doesn't mean it's not infection.
I'm hoping it isn't but please get checked out today, get examined.

I’m glad you’ve called 111. If you Google sepsis, you don’t necessarily have a fever with it so please monitor yourself carefully.

@londonrach

Tbh felling asleep near midnight whilst someone in the bath for 45 minutes whilst you have two small children..vvvv normal. Op ring 111 hope you feeling better now x

This. Never underestimate a man’s ability to fall asleep within two seconds of laying down. Bloody irritating but I swear it’s how they’re programmed. Wouldn’t see it as a sign he doesn’t love you! To me this sounds like the our anxiety talking - glad you’re seeking some counselling.

Clearly there are wider issues but this does sound dramatic.

You are well enough to type that whole message but not get out the bath? Maybe you should call 999 then.

Your husband is clearly exhausted at midnight. Like most people with a baby. He needs sleep too or do you want him to be become exhausted and get ill?

I hope that you’ve got the help you needed overnight. However, in terms of your husband sleeping, please don’t turn this into a who get less sleep competition. If the children were in bed and you were in the bath then I don’t think it’s unreasonable for him to have a snooze.

Just to add, I do sincerely hope you are ok! But sometimes when we’re tired and have a very young baby we don’t see things as clearly so not blaming you.

Hope you feel better soon. I remember those sleep deprived days well.

I had these symptoms with mastitis 3 times and thought I was dying.

Re the relationship, I would give it some more time. Sleep deprivation doesn’t tend to bring our the best in anyone. And you have had 2 major life stresses, a house move and new baby.

I don't blame your husband for falling asleep. He's got tiring small children too, he sat with you for 45 minutes before you got in the bath, I'd have fallen asleep as well if I'd have been him. I really don't think it's fair to have a go at him about that.