Deeply concerned about Child Safety in Bristol

[MatthewJTaylor]

From May 5th to May 8th 2022, the Tobacco Factory Theatres in Bristol is having performances of "The Family Sex Show".
This show is aimed at children 5 years old and up.
The performers involved get naked.
The discussion with the children is on sex, sexuality and sexual pleasure.

I cannot imagine brining a 5 year old child to a theatre where people will to to her/him about sex and show their naked bodies to her/him.

Am I the crazy one?

Sources:
The Family Sex Show website
Listing at The Tobacco Factory Theatres

[quote theDudesmummy]@BewareTheBeardedDragon surely you can see the enormous category difference between telling your prepubertal daughter about periods and simulating sex and singing about genitals in front of five-year-olds? (With, I submit, a wider and very sinister agenda, maybe not on the part of all the potentially duped people involved on the ground, but certainly on the part of whoever is pulling the strings).[/quote]
Absolutely - I was answering a post replying to my post in which I set out why I don't think this show can be appropriate for the age range they say it is! We are in agreement.

[quote StageRage]@SamphirethePogoingStickerist
Then again, they are the rainbow dildo butt monkey people. Who the fuck knows why they are still in business?

No, that was a completely different company. A carnival / street arts company that acknowledged they had made a bad mistake and apologised. As did the council that booked them.[/quote]
I have acknowledged that. I was trawling through a few pages, noted they all had Arts Council funding and thought I had noted another connection.

But I cannot now find that other connection, so must have been mistaken.

Again I apologise.

Gosh you people don't know how to argue. Yes, of course flashing children is wrong. How on earth you get from 'bodies aren't shameful' to 'flashing children is OK' I have no idea.

I am well versed in safeguarding.

I suspect you had some mandatory training you paid no attention to.

This is not grooming

It's worrying you do not understand the ways in which grooming can manifest itself. Normalising the nudity of strangers and sexually explicit conversation blurs the boundaries for children so they are less certain about what constitutes appropriate behaviour from adults they are therefore more susceptible to people with predatory intentions. In this context you could argue children are being primed for sexual predators by people who are ignorant about safeguarding.

@Perfect28

Gosh you people don't know how to argue. Yes, of course flashing children is wrong. How on earth you get from 'bodies aren't shameful' to 'flashing children is OK' I have no idea.

Flashing isn't OK?

And in this specific show? Well, they haven't decided if they will or if they won't, or if they always will, or always won't. So it will all be a tad furtive, spur of the moment, don't you think?

But what makes you think they are right in acting outwith the usual guidelines?

@canary1

I’ve made complaint/ concern to Bristol Safeguarding

Thank you.

@Perfect28 well it's about consent isn't it? can children as young as 5 consent to sexual nudity?

@Perfect28

They are not naked in those images.

It doesn't matter if they're naked or not. It doesn't matter if the nudity happens separately to the sex act simulation or simultaneously. It's still absolutely wrong.

Gosh you people don't know how to argue.

Gosh you don't know how to read and understand the concerns and then make your case.

@Perfect28 you have clearly not read the thread or looked at the details of the show, maybe come back when you have?

But just to address your last post:

Bodies are not shameful. Correct. I go further than many in that I am actually a naturist in some settings, together with my children. Nudity per se is not a problem, nor are people's bodies. That has absolutely nothing to do with sex and the fact that you conflate the two is a problem. This is not about nudity. It is about adults presenting inappropriate material to young children. With a wider agenda behind it of normalising grooming and so enabling sexual abuse.

Where do we "draw the line"? The way you say it, it sounds like you don't think there should be a "line". Of course different things are appropriate for different age groups. Do you not accept that? You are being ridiculous when you go 16 plus, 18? Of course young people of that age should be exposed to information about many aspects of sexuality.

I have no idea exactly which age the show would be appropriate for, having not seen it. But I am 100% sure from the information that I have that five years is not it.

@Perfect28

Are they simulating sex acts though or is that just what you inferred?

So you haven't read the thread then but are happy to label us all as prudish based on our responses which you haven't read. All righty.

“How on earth you get from 'bodies aren't shameful' to 'flashing children is OK' I have no idea.”

Since “bodies aren’t shameful” was your statement, apparently offered as evidence for your safeguarding knowledge, and you are tying yourself in knots to defend naked adults performing sexual pleasure on stage to 5 year olds, I can see how someone may have not realised you would draw the line at flashing. Silly us.

@mam0918

So it sounds like a live performance version of the body book by Claire Rayner?

Which has been the gold standard for pre-school education since I was a child.

I fail to see how its grooming and misuse of that word is really dangerous.

To 'groom' you have to develop an intimate relationship with the child - these people don't know these children, they aren't being invited to lunch, having one on one time, and staying in contact it's no more grooming than the pantomime dame in the Xmas play (who likely tells far more age inappropriate sexual innuedo jokes).

You've never been near safeguarding.

Bodies are not shameful
Bodies aren't shameful but young children need to taught what are safe touches and what are not.

Shame is one of the most frequent emotions that children who have been sexually abused are left with. Building children's understanding of safe acceptable behavior from adults helps to protect them.

Teaching children that they don't need to be concerned if adults, particularly adults they don't know are naked around them in random public settings is just profoundly unhealthy.

Bodies aren't shameful but pants are private. People shouldn't ask to see your private parts and shouldn't show you theirs. If either of these things happen talk to an adult you trust. These are basic safeguarding messages for kids.

It can take years, years of damaging secrets for kids to disclose sexual abuse. Eroding basic boundaries and telling kids it there was an element of pleasure then it was okay are both going to make disclosure of abuse less likely.

If you are a teacher @Perfect28 you need more safeguarding training as a matter of urgency.

@Perfect28

Gosh you people don't know how to argue. Yes, of course flashing children is wrong. How on earth you get from 'bodies aren't shameful' to 'flashing children is OK' I have no idea.

@Perfect28 It is very simple. You believe it's ok for strangers to flash children on stage.

What is the difference between that, and flashing in the street?

Have a think about it. Truly have a think about it.

Naked adults are not performing sexual pleasure. Definition of a straw man. To others, yes I have researched the show. Yes, I have read the thread and yes, I still disagree with you. I know that such a show would have consulted several safeguarding authorities and it's still going to go ahead so I guess you will just all have to get used to living in a world where we don't shame bodies or sex and we educate young people so when they are sexually active in the future they are empowered.

The difference is the context and intention, obviously.

This show isn't about body positivity it is about sex, it is in the title.
It is meant to be suitable for five year olds.
There is very little sexual information suitable for five year olds.
Either the show needs drastically renamed or the show needs drastically rewritten.

@Flumsnet

01225 823409 - call this number to speak to Bath theatre who are also showing the sex show.

I asked if they are in favour of making a profit from exposing genitalia to 5-year olds

"I have no comment to make" and hung up.

Clearly know they're indefensible

Bath Theatre Royal commissioned the show.

They should be able to explain what is actually in the show and answer questions.

I would ask direct questions. E,G:

Does the performance indicate that sexual activity between people is a pleasurable thing? Is sexual activity portrayed on stage?

If yes to these questions - how is it conveyed to children that this is a pleasure that is not remotely safe for them to experience with any adult, and they can never consent to this 'pleasure'?

By email if they will not answer the phone.

The website is a hot mess. Until anyone knows exactly how the material on the website manifests itself on stage no one can be sure what is going on here.

And the theatre owes their public an explanation if they are to retain trust.

Look. I run a venue. This would get nowhere near my public - especially as a new production booked before I had seen it.
The website would have got nowhere near the public in it's messy, confusing, misleading and unprofessional state
And in the face of this sort of upset about any show for any audience I would be putting up a statement, answering questions and communicating with the public.

backtobusy it's not a 'random public setting' though is it.

. I know that such a show would have consulted several safeguarding authorities

Given the rainbow monkey debacle a while ago I don't share your confidence.
I also checked on the website and the page that should have filled that in for me was blank.

@Perfect28

Naked adults are not performing sexual pleasure. Definition of a straw man. To others, yes I have researched the show. Yes, I have read the thread and yes, I still disagree with you. I know that such a show would have consulted several safeguarding authorities and it's still going to go ahead so I guess you will just all have to get used to living in a world where we don't shame bodies or sex and we educate young people so when they are sexually active in the future they are empowered.

Their own website says the show is about supporting children to explore sexual pleasure and that the cast will at some point be naked. If you think naked adults and 5 year olds exploring sexual pleasure together is ok then you're one of the ones who needs your hard drive examining.

The issue about pleasure is actually also very important. In my work with adult survivors, a very common feature is the shame people feel becuause they gained pleasure at the time from the abuse (whether from the attention, the sweeties, the kindness, or the physical abuse itself). This, as many know, is profoundly psychologcally damaging, and also leads to delays in disclosure, or no disclosure at all. Telling small children that because something gives you pleasure it is right, is both of course very dangerous and seductive at the time, and can cause enormous problems in later life, including severe self-blame, confusions in sexuality, and many other problems.