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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Deeply concerned about Child Safety in Bristol

1000 replies

MatthewJTaylor · 07/04/2022 21:28

From May 5th to May 8th 2022, the Tobacco Factory Theatres in Bristol is having performances of "The Family Sex Show".
This show is aimed at children 5 years old and up.
The performers involved get naked.
The discussion with the children is on sex, sexuality and sexual pleasure.

I cannot imagine brining a 5 year old child to a theatre where people will to to her/him about sex and show their naked bodies to her/him.

Am I the crazy one?

Sources:
The Family Sex Show website
Listing at The Tobacco Factory Theatres

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
Flumsnet · 08/04/2022 11:53

@ThePlantsitter

I can't be arsed to read the frothing on this thread. I think it looks brilliant.

You can tell yourself your 14 year old isn't wanking to some surgically enhanced naked woman being throttled and then thinking that extends to sex in real life if you want or you can start talking about consent and sexual pleasure young to normalise pleasure and explain what REAL consent looks like (clue: it isn't being paid to make fake sounds of ecstasy when you see an erect penis).

Bit of difference between a 5 year old and a 14 year old. I feel sorry for your kids
Flumsnet · 08/04/2022 11:54

Has anyone called the theatre yet? Please share responses

ThePlantsitter · 08/04/2022 11:55

Don't feel sorry for my kids. They know what consent is. If you won't talk about sex until you think they ought to be thinking about it your kids are the ones who will have difficulties. Naked bodies are perfectly normal, there's no actual sex on stage if you bother to read the description.

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 08/04/2022 11:55

@FOJN

And if you have a female child I can't understand why you wouldn't tell them about their anatomy if they ask.

If they ask is the important part of that sentence.

I haven't yet read beyond this post - but it is spot on.

If a child asks a question, my view and approach as a parent is to answer it honestly in an age appropriate way.

If a young child doesn't ask, then don't tell them. Ime when they ask they only listen to as much of the answer or carry on asking questions for as long as they want to/remain interested/feel comfortable with.

What is age appropriate differs enormously from age 5 to age 11. At age 10-11 it is appropriate to begin to give them some info they may not have asked for - as they do at school (I know what my school teaches, have read full policy etc). At age 5-8/9 it is not and should be child lead.

I can't see how you can make a show that would be in any way interesting/informative for an 11+ yo while being appropriate for a 5yo on this subject. If you could then there would not be a differentiated curriculum for PSHE as child goes through primary school.

But the main point is that there is a massive difference between a parent answering questions posed by a child, in private, and in a totally child led way, and a very young child being taken to a public performance where they witness adult nudity of strangers and discussion of sex in the way this show describes.

And it is not in any way the same as being at a swimming place in Germany and witnessing adults changing without covering their nudity in the process. I saw that on holiday as a child but no way my parents would have taken me to a show like this - and they were super liberal and answered all questions that they were asked.

FuckeryOmbudsman · 08/04/2022 11:56

@radiohp

True - the nudity will be on screen in schools.

I really didn't expect this level of (sight unseen) disbelief/frothing about something which says it will be adhering to the NSPCC guidelines for age.

Janesmom · 08/04/2022 11:56

Lord, please give me the confidence of the imbeciles who post on these threads on the sole basis of false and misleading descriptions without doing anything to check the facts first…

canary1 · 08/04/2022 11:57

If this is real, how can it NOT be a crime. Police involved or investigating , surely

Gizacluethen · 08/04/2022 11:59

I thought I'd agree with you but actually reading their website, meh. They're not forcing you to take your kids. It's for parents that know school don't teach well enough that don't want their kids to get all their info from porn and that actually want to do something about that. Rather than whinging about it or hoping their kids just go through life not knowing anything about sex, sexuality, gender etc etc etc. I don't think I'd consider my 5yo niece mature enough but I think it would be good for my 7yo niece. But I also don't think it's a resource I'll need because I'm comfortable with that conversation, not all parents are but still want to talk to their kids about it.

Knowledge is power.

MsGoodenough · 08/04/2022 12:01

@ThePlantsitter

I can't be arsed to read the frothing on this thread. I think it looks brilliant.

You can tell yourself your 14 year old isn't wanking to some surgically enhanced naked woman being throttled and then thinking that extends to sex in real life if you want or you can start talking about consent and sexual pleasure young to normalise pleasure and explain what REAL consent looks like (clue: it isn't being paid to make fake sounds of ecstasy when you see an erect penis).

I teach rse in secondary school and talk about the harms of porn all the time. I am not at all squeamish and answer all the kids questions as honestly and age appropriately as I can. None of that prevents me from seeing how deeply inappropriate this show is.
Patchbatch · 08/04/2022 12:02

@Gizacluethen

I thought I'd agree with you but actually reading their website, meh. They're not forcing you to take your kids. It's for parents that know school don't teach well enough that don't want their kids to get all their info from porn and that actually want to do something about that. Rather than whinging about it or hoping their kids just go through life not knowing anything about sex, sexuality, gender etc etc etc. I don't think I'd consider my 5yo niece mature enough but I think it would be good for my 7yo niece. But I also don't think it's a resource I'll need because I'm comfortable with that conversation, not all parents are but still want to talk to their kids about it.

Knowledge is power.

If you think it'd be suitable for your 7 year old niece let's be thankful she isn't your child.
Ereshkigalangcleg · 08/04/2022 12:02

Another of the "let's talk to children about porn" genre.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 08/04/2022 12:03

I’m always suspicious of people who want to ‘engage’ with children about sex, unless it’s in an age-relevant way, when they ask, or else in a usual sort of sex ed session at school.

IMO this sounds distinctly pervy, though no doubt they like to call it being ‘open and honest’.

We once had a male neighbour of about 50, who liked to invite our dd and other children in and be ‘open and honest’ about what he did with his girlfriend, and what he liked her to do to him. He also showed them very explicit pictures, . Our dd was only 10 at the time, the other children were of similar ages.
Of course they were interested, but in a guiltily ashamed way, and when dd finally told us what had been going on, she was in quite a tizz about it.

We reported him to the police, who took it very seriously and asked for a description. He moved very soon afterwards, but only just up the road. I’m pleased to say my dh went round and told the vile old perv that if he ever came anywhere near our dd again, he’d bloody kill him.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 08/04/2022 12:03

Naked bodies are perfectly normal, there's no actual sex on stage if you bother to read the description

Can you hear yourself?

MichelleScarn · 08/04/2022 12:04

@ThePlantsitter

I can't be arsed to read the frothing on this thread. I think it looks brilliant.

You can tell yourself your 14 year old isn't wanking to some surgically enhanced naked woman being throttled and then thinking that extends to sex in real life if you want or you can start talking about consent and sexual pleasure young to normalise pleasure and explain what REAL consent looks like (clue: it isn't being paid to make fake sounds of ecstasy when you see an erect penis).

How young do you think child should be introduced to what sexual pleasure is? And don't forget there's a wide spectrum as to what people see is 'sexual pleasure' to them.
HangingRock25 · 08/04/2022 12:04

@ThePlantsitter

I can't be arsed to read the frothing on this thread. I think it looks brilliant.

You can tell yourself your 14 year old isn't wanking to some surgically enhanced naked woman being throttled and then thinking that extends to sex in real life if you want or you can start talking about consent and sexual pleasure young to normalise pleasure and explain what REAL consent looks like (clue: it isn't being paid to make fake sounds of ecstasy when you see an erect penis).

@ThePlantsitter This thread is about FIVE (5) year olds.

5 year olds.

5 year old children.

Not "14 year old"s.

Gizacluethen · 08/04/2022 12:05

@BewareTheBeardedDragon
If a young child doesn't ask, then don't tell them.

I get where you're coming from but at the same time, do you have this stance with everything? Does your child need to ask about hitting/bullying or even maths/history? What if they don't feel comfortable asking? What if they don't think to ask?

I didn't tell my mum I'd started bleeding for months and months because I didn't feel comfortable bringing it up, I knew what it was but she'd never ever mentioned anything like that. Why should a child be the one to start the conversation?

Ereshkigalangcleg · 08/04/2022 12:05

I’m always suspicious of people who want to ‘engage’ with children about sex, unless it’s in an age-relevant way, when they ask, or else in a usual sort of sex ed session at school.

IMO this sounds distinctly pervy, though no doubt they like to call it being ‘open and honest’.

I think such suspicions are a natural part of safeguarding and I wouldn't be too confident that school sex ed is necessarily going to be age appropriate. MN has had lots of threads in the past about inappropriate school sex ed.

ThePlantsitter · 08/04/2022 12:05

@Ereshkigalangcleg

Naked bodies are perfectly normal, there's no actual sex on stage if you bother to read the description

Can you hear yourself?

Yes. What can YOU hear? Are naked bodies not normal now?
radiohp · 08/04/2022 12:06

Strange adults don't need to be naked when teaching children about consent. Are the children consenting to seeing naked adults?

Ereshkigalangcleg · 08/04/2022 12:08

I don't believe it's possible for a 5 year old to consent to seeing naked adults.

canary1 · 08/04/2022 12:08

Everyone should contact the organisers and tell them what they think.
Aside from the few fools on here who are promoting grooming.

ThePlantsitter · 08/04/2022 12:09

*@ThePlantsitter This thread is about FIVE (5) year olds.

5 year olds.

5 year old children.

Not "14 year old"s.*

Yes but my point, perhaps too annoyedly put I'll warrant, is that unless you start talking about this stuff young you will lose your kids to more powerful stuff like porn and societal pressure along the way. You don't get to decide when your kid starts thinking about sex. The NSPCC page linked to on the show's website shows that it's actually a lot younger than most people acknowledge. To my mind you can choose to let the kids find out influenced by porn which is abusive to everyone or you can try to get some messages about consent and how it's important for women/everyone to enjoy sex (e.g. 'sex should feel nice' at most) early on before all that happens.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 08/04/2022 12:09

These threads always attract lots of gaslighting apologists.

maeveiscurious · 08/04/2022 12:09

@Ereshkigalangcleg

Naked bodies are perfectly normal, there's no actual sex on stage if you bother to read the description

Can you hear yourself?

Oh dear Biscuit
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