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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My word should have been enough

341 replies

EthelsAuntie · 07/04/2022 09:37

A couple of weeks ago, I was admitted to hospital. I had severe abdominal pain, no appetite, being violently sick, couldnt even keep water down. I hadn't been to the toilet for a wee or a poo for at least 24hrs.
The dr wanted to send me for an x-ray of my tummy but wouldn't send me until I got a confirmed negative on a pregnancy test.
I repeatedly told them that I wasn't pregnant. I knew that I wasn't pregnant. However because I'm married they said they needed to do the test. This seriously held up proceedings. They had to put me on a drip. They probably would have done that anyway. But they had to wait for hours until I was able to go for a wee. Then they did a test on it and only then did they request the X-ray because lo behold I was not pregnant.
It turned out to be extremely serious and I needed emergency surgery that took 5 hours.
AIBU to have felt very strongly that they should have taken my word for it. Make me sign something to say that I wasn't pregnant. Fine. Don't just dismiss me because I'm of childbearing age.
I also wonder what would have happened had I been pregnant. Neither I nor a fetus would have survived what the actual problem was had it been left untreated.
It was an awful time and I have to say the constant asking and not taking my word for it did not help. I was feeling like shit. I am a strong, intelligent woman in my 40s but I felt I didn't have a voice to be listened to.

OP posts:
Ipadflowers · 07/04/2022 09:39

I think they need to do their check, I’m sorry, sadly women saying they are absolutely not pregnant when they are is not uncommon and they would be negligent not to check.

YoYoYoYoSup · 07/04/2022 09:39

Yeah thats pretty bad if you couldn't actually produce a wee sample then your word (and signed something if that's possible) should have been enough. I think under the circumstances where you can't wee this should be an alternative and I'd definitely refer this via PALS if I were you.

KrisAkabusi · 07/04/2022 09:42

Of course they had to check. Women can be mistaken, in denial or just lying. A duty of care requires them to find out for sure.

twominutesmore · 07/04/2022 09:46

Had you been mistaken, and lost a baby due to the investigations, you would have been devastated and litigious.

I think double-checking with a test was the least worst option. Surely you can see that they were trying to do their very best for you. It seems churlish almost to be dwelling on it. I'm pleased you are getting better now though.

EvilHerbivore · 07/04/2022 09:47

I am currently in a relationship with a woman - they still checked when I went to hospital with abdominal pain

SolasAnla · 07/04/2022 09:47

You strong, intelligent woman in your 40s engaged in acts of sexual reproduction.

The doctors are aware that no form of birth control is 100% effective.

If you are christian abstinence is no guarantees either🤷🏼‍♀️

BrimFullOfAsher · 07/04/2022 09:47

No, they 100% should have taken your word.

A negative pg test is not a requirement. I would speak to PALS if I were you as its unacceptable and could have been quite distressing (treatment delay aside) for some women.

ImNotDancing · 07/04/2022 09:48

It’s a legal requirement to do a test in most cases. I had a hysteroscopy and despite the fact I haven’t had sex in over 9 months I still needed to have a test

Turningpurple · 07/04/2022 09:48

Not sure why the doctor said its because you are married. It's Not just for married women.

However, yabu.

Theunamedcat · 07/04/2022 09:48

They did this to my friend she has had a hysterectomy ffs the nurse didn't believe her and was cajoling her to do the test

BrimFullOfAsher · 07/04/2022 09:49

@EvilHerbivore did they insist on a test though? Or just ask you to confirm?

Philisophigal · 07/04/2022 09:49

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn at the user's request.

Tomnooktoldmeto · 07/04/2022 09:50

I don’t agree, had you been in a collapsed state you would have been rushed to theatre without a pregnancy test, the fact they risked this when you were shut down and dehydrated increased the risk of poor outcomes for you and any potential foetus

Pregnant women still undergo emergency surgery and the usual protocols would be adhered to

Shiteshow100 · 07/04/2022 09:50

Of course they have to check. I had to do one before having a lletz done even though there was 0 chance. Most women don't even know, I didn't know I was having my 2nd till 4 months along.

AChocolateOrangeaday · 07/04/2022 09:50

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TabithaTittlemouse · 07/04/2022 09:51

If you had been pregnant and the procedure caused a miscarriage you would be devastated had you known or not.

They have to know what they are dealing with. A ‘a strong, intelligent woman in my 40s’ should know this.

I’m sorry that you have been so unwell but I don’t think they did anything wrong.

Coldilox · 07/04/2022 09:51

My wife nearly lost a theatre slot to repair a very painful dislocated knee because she was unable to see for a pregnancy test. She told the nurses that she was gay, had been married to me for 10 years, was a sexual health and contraception nurse with experience in early pregnancy care and understood the risks and was categorically not pregnant, but they wouldn’t budge. It was only when the surgeon told them to stop being so bloody ridiculous that she was allowed to go down to theatre.

Brefugee · 07/04/2022 09:52

I think they need to do their check, I’m sorry, sadly women saying they are absolutely not pregnant when they are is not uncommon and they would be negligent not to check.

how about believing women. Why don't they instead ask when the last time they had PIV sex was? or any other way of getting pregnant rather than assuming that all married women have sex?

Do they ask single women? to they guess how old you are or ask if you have had the menopause? The only really good question is: is there a chance at all that you could be pregnant? Then you sign consent forms.

negomi90 · 07/04/2022 09:52

It's standard procedure in most hospitals in anyone over 12.
Women lie about pregnancy for various reasons. How would they know you aren't one of the lying ones?
Also you wouldn't have had the operation without the pregancy test. Abdo pain can be appendicitis or it can be pregancy things like ectopic pregnancies - different teams deal with those.
The pregancy test was a vital investigation. If you really couldn't wee, they could have perhaps offered to catherise you but it would have been negligent to take your word for it in this case.

coffeeisthebest · 07/04/2022 09:53

If you have queries with their procedures, please take it to the PALS directly. None of us were there, probably most of us are un likely to be medically trained. But in my understanding, there are various checks that need to take place before surgery can happen. That is true regardless of how well educated you are.

steff13 · 07/04/2022 09:53

It's standard when you're having an x-ray to do a pregnancy test. If it took hours for you to be able to go, I'm surprised they didn't offer to catheterize you.

SuspiciousScully · 07/04/2022 09:53

Many posters are saying 'of course they had to check'.

Why?

I don't understand.

The OP has made it clear that even if she was pregnant, she would have needed the same treatment because without it she would have died.

So, what difference does the pregnancy test make??

FleurDeLizz · 07/04/2022 09:57

@SolasAnla

You strong, intelligent woman in your 40s engaged in acts of sexual reproduction.

The doctors are aware that no form of birth control is 100% effective.

If you are christian abstinence is no guarantees either🤷🏼‍♀️

What do you mean by abstinence is no guarantee?

If you’re abstinent you aren’t having sex

Dahlia444 · 07/04/2022 09:57

Unfortunately there can be serious consequences for foetuses if they are Irradiated and hospitals have to deal with ionising radiation law meaning they have to have pregnancy check processes in place. Somebody's word is very very often unreliable for all sorts of reasons and it is impossible and unacceptable for staff to say 'oh yes I will believe that type of person but not a different type'. If they felt that your condition was extremely serious or deteriorating they would have just cracked on with the xray as the risk to you outweighs the risk to a foetus. I hope you're feeling better.

twinsetandpearl · 07/04/2022 10:00

@AChocolateOrangeaday

Not that intelligent if you can't understand why they do it.

Have to agree

Women can lie
Women can not know

End of the day I'm sure they've been sued in the past by women who weren't asked and who were pregnant and who went on to lose their babies

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