To think weddings have become a money making racket?

[malificent7]

I can't wait to get married to my fiance next year but I am astounded with some of the quotes we have recieved:
£2,000 to hire a tythe barn for one evening with nothing else included only licenced till 11)...no.
£25,000 for a glamping wedding venue.

( forget it).
£30 per bottle of prosecco at our chosen wedding venue....it is a beautiful venue and better value than many but i did balk at this....why can't i bring my own? Although we chose it as the surroundings are magical and the food is included and excellent.
Plus all the extravagant hen and stag dos that i will not be having.
We have already paid the deposit for our venue and plan to spread the còst but I am tempted to run away and wed dp and spend the £ on a honeymoon.

Aibu to think that many people are cashing in on weddings and a couple does not need to start their married life in such an expensive way? Plus i have heard that the average price of a wedding is £30,000!

It is almost expected that the couple should have an extravagent do.

They haven’t become it, they always have been.

Weddings cost as much as you spend on them.

You were being a bit unrealistic to not expect to pay corkage on bringing your own Prosecco.

They always have been. They were in 2003 when I got married! If I could go back no way on earth would I spend the money I did. I'd elope and get married with a couple of witnesses.

What do you mean “become”? The word “wedding” attached to any service or product has always increased the price.

Always have been?
Try hiring the same barn for a family party And see price

They haven’t ‘become’ they always have been and they will only do it as long as people buy into it.

They can be as cheap or as expensive as you want them to be.
If you go for the Instagram ready day you pay lots.
If you elope and just exchange vows you get it cheaper.

There's always the option of having a Penny Wedding in a church hall, but not many people are keen when it comes down to it.

I got married in 2003 and the norm was the same then.

What hindsight has taught me is that you don't need all the extras that cost money. Being married is a million times better than getting married.

it is almost expected that the couple should have an extravagent do.

It isn't really though. It comes down to what you want or can afford to spend. Our wedding was around £20k but we could afford it - I originally just wanted close family in a registry office, but after a health scare in the family we decided to have a big family shebang so that it was also an excuse to get all the parents/children involved etc.

There is a lot of smoke and mirrors around the wedding industry. For instance being told I had to order my dress at least 18 months beforehand. Er, no actually I just rang the designer directly and was able to get in within 3 months. My dress was beautiful but nowhere near worth the almost £2k I paid for it - it wasn't made out of gold-leaf of anything special! but it was the one I wanted and I could afford it.

I would never, ever get into debt for a wedding.

Only have the wedding you are comfortable having - it isn't about what others "expect" - it's about what you want/can afford. It should be about the marriage between two people, not the venue.

The registration office is under £100 is it not. Just go there.

But then the pictures won't look nice on the gram will they?

It supply and demand. People want it and will pay it. More fool them.

I think YABU. You are choosing to look at expensive venues and they are expensive because people will pay it.

My wedding venue was, adjusted for inflation, £150.

You need to rethink your plans and work out what you want to spend.

I think that it all changed after 1994 when after only being allowed to marry in church or at a registry office a load of hotels etc applied to be an approved wedding venue. Suddenly it became a commercial venture .

Agree, but not just weddings themselves. Upscaling of hen/stag dos, then baby showers (should lead to social isolation if you even suggest one), then children's parties, valentine's 'weekend' etc etc.

I got a lot of flak on a previous thread for this but in my home country, the tradition is for guests to give cash gifts. People spend a lot of weddings in my country; my 7 course Chinese banquet in a 5 star hotel was considered average and the bare minimum; I only invited 50 people when people used to invite 250-500 people on average in pre covid times. But everyone in my family including me (I have 8 married cousins) have recovered their wedding costs due to the cash gifts...

In my mind, given that there is no such tradition in the UK, there is little rationale in having an expensive wedding. Even if you can afford it. You can get away with a registry wedding followed by a meal at a pub here. Of course if you have religious requirements like requiring a church or a rabbi, those costs are pretty much fixed. Also the cost of music for dancing but I guess you can always use a iPod! I do have a UK wedding ceremony for local guests but am planning to keep it as simple as a Jewish wedding ceremony can be ...

I agree, when I got married I asked a local horse and cart person if we could take a ride the exact same route they usually do, which usually costs £100. When I added that it was for our wedding suddenly the price was £750, but she would kindly knock off £100 because we were locals. Wtf. we drove around in my friends tractor instead.

They haven’t ‘become’ they always have been and they will only do it as long as people buy into it.

Exactly. Venues will charge what people are willing to pay.
You are not obliged to buy any of the (expensive) services offered, although everyone wants to make their wedding day special, and there are probably some cheaper options. If you prefer to have a more modest wedding and splurge on the honeymoon, why not?

Some venues would let you provide your own prosecco or champagne and then charge corkage which may work out cheaper. (I think my dad bought champagne when it was on a 6 bottle offer at Morrisons, when I got married!)

I am the bride who eloped at age 22 btw and thought I could do without the celebration. May work for some families but my DH and I come from fairly culturally conservative backgrounds so our parents expect a celebration. Our DH's mum doesn't even consider us properly married without the religious ceremony. My mum has only 2 daughters and I think wants to mum of the bride. So I ended up having the celebration years later... At least it meant I could have a nicer celebration without worry as we bought the flat/saved up.

So my advice is even if you want to keep it simple, at least invite close family and friends.then you don't need to do a do-over :)

It can be as expensive or as cheap as you like. My church ceremony-only wedding cost less than £2K, but when we had the reception planned (cancelled due to covid uncertainty), the additional costs for the reception would have been £3K. So, the whole thing in total would have been £5K.

The reception was going to be at the church hall which obviously helped the cost significantly, but I must admit it is a particularly gorgeous church hall. We could have done it way cheaper but we didn't skimp on a few aspects. Other aspects didn't matter as much to us as they do to others, so we would have saved money there.

When I was in my early 20s the first wave of my friends weddings were in church and village halls, catering was often a buffet put together by friends and family, or if very swish, a catering company. There were 3 in our area, my Mum ran one of them, they roughly charged double the cost of the ingredients for a gorgeous buffet.

Everyone had a lovely time.

What you ‘must have’ is very variable. I would not spend £30k on a wedding day.

And surely now is a good time for people to re-evaluate?

Try hiring the same barn for a family party And see price

My MIL did that when we were looking for a venue. It was half the cost for that same date.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=gimiDBAK2wA

There are loads of "cheaper" options. Lovely registry office in Edinburgh at St Giles room was amazing and very photogenic, little place close by for lunch. In a clearing close to the hermitage by Dunkeld then a party at a nearby hall type place. Both were under £500 and lots of fun. More so than the slightly stuffier weddings where you're starving but they've only budgeted 2 canapes per person at enormous cost.

Have you been living under a rock?

Yes, I think a the change began in the 1990s when the law changed to allow licences venues, rather than just churches and registry offices

And really took off towards the end of that decade and the early 00s because of the wsin factors of the rise of the internet and that we all thought the country was affluent and the mood was buoyant then.

I have to say that I don't particularly like the 'industrial' wedding (ie the ones which really do follow what the wedding industry is pushing) - they all look a bit same-y to me. And I really don't like the way that more and more spending is pushed.

I wondered how long it would take for someone to mention instagram, as if expensive weddings don't predate social media by about 20 years.

My wedding with all the bells and whistles cost nowhere near 30k. You either do it all yourself for cheap or pay for the privilege of someone providing a service for you. My friend did diy for 8k and had a miserable time having to arrange everything and everyone and dealing with having non professional friends doing favours which turned out a bit rubbish. I paid an extra 10k for everything I wanted done for me and not having to think about a thing.

There aren't many things for weddings where you can't find a cheaper alternative if you want. The only thing really that is pretty price fixed is a professional photographer as they all charge similar amounts.