What age did your looks start to fade?

[SalJ90]

Do we really become less desirable as we get older? Why is this?

I like to remember my sister reminding me that in the ape world, it is the older female that is considered the most alluring , not the younger. And we’re both in our 70s. Trouble is I no longer want to be ‘alluring’, just happy and healthy, with my partner as my besty.

I never had looks.

I’m sure I was around 21

At about 35 my face went really gaunt even though my weight didn't change and it's never gone back (40 now). I don't really have wrinkles or grey hair but my skeleton face has made me lose my looks.

Wow misogynistic much?

I was unaware of how attractive I was in my 20s and didn’t have much confidence to make the best of it anyway.

I lost a bit of my looks between then and now raising my two kids.

I’m now in my 60s and I’m sooooo confident!! I have been told I look in my young 30s and very desirable. Indeed I have found someone new who desires me and that’s making all the difference. I’d recommend it to put a spring in anyones step.

This is a bit of a funny one, I will obviously never be as attractive as I was in my youth, due to the lack of plump face and youthful glow but I have only really started this year at the age of forty to look a little more saggy in the face, wrinkles starting to appear and looking my actual age. I also inexplicably have the same face as my mother now! I still feel attractive, just a different attractive to what I was.

I'm 40 and I feel more confident and attractive than I did in my 20s. My 30s were taken up completely by raising 3 dc one after the other. I'm also fitter than I've ever been in my whole life.
I'm guessing it's a downhill slope from here...

For me it was as soon as I became a mother really. So when I was mid twenties.

I never really thought I was ever anything special to look at so it didn’t bother me. I used to feel hideous as a kid. I always felt out of place because I was darker skinned than my friends and was tall with Middle Eastern features and a gap in my teeth etc. But only a few years ago my brother (the lovely arsehole that he is...🙄) said ‘what the fuck happened to you?? You used to be so so pretty.’ At that moment I realised two things 1. My brother who had always called me ugly as a kid actually never really thought I was ugly. And 2. I shouldn’t ever listen to anyone’s opinion because people are cruel and will say anything whether it’s true or kind or not.

But since then I looked back at photos of me as a young teen and I realise I was quite pretty, I just never realised it. So perhaps I am fucking gorgeous now and just don’t see it 😂. Or maybe I am just a frumpy, ugly, old hag but it doesn’t really affect me on any level because in my own head I’ve always felt that way.

@balalake

In my 30s.

Though one positive, much as their behaviour is completely unacceptable in the first place, dirty old men such as Silvio Berlusconi, Mick Jagger or Boris Johnson will ignore you.

That is a HUGE positive!

I’ve never felt attractive facially, but now I feel more attractive than some of my peers as I still have a decent figure for my age (50). I have a bit of a mum tum, but it’s not too bad & I’m not much heavier than I was in my 20s (always hovered around the same 10lbs since I was 20).
I still have good hair (I get it coloured professionally so it lasts) and think I look ok for my age generally. People tend to look at hair & I find grey very ageing even if it’s ‘trendy’ to go grey gracefully.
I work w a lady who is about 58, I think she’s really attractive- nice hair, nails, dresses in a younger but not mutton manner and is slim. She’s average in looks but the whole package comes off well. I also met her dh recently who is a bit older and a def ‘silver fox’!!

I'm 65 and reckon I look okay. In some ways better than my 50s. Remarried last year after a three year relationship so hopefully doing something right. I pretty much peaked at 33, on my wedding day, went downhill, improved again in my forties (was once mistaken for Kate O'Mara !!!), down again in my fifties, up in my sixties. Wouldn't have predicted that. I am a very smiley person and genuinely agreeable and optimistic which I think helps.

Wow misogynistic much?

It's a fact of life that people's looks change over time. There's nothing misogynistic about acknowledging or even mourning youth. It happens to men too and. They also mourn it - the George Clooneys and Richard Geres are few and far between.

If anyone had proclaimed women's lives to be over once their looks had faded, I'd agree with you, but most people have said the opposite!

I think it was from early to mid 40's, but slow and gradual rather than overnight. I am now really aware that I need to look after myself better, sleep, good nutrition and exercise are key as well as keeping stress levels down. It is not all just about physical appearance but it's about health in general particularly with menopause is looming.

I also think we have entered a different phase of expectations to keep up with the widespread use of Botox and other cosmetic treatments. I am tempted but also terrified of anything going horribly wrong. DH is completely against it and thinks even younger women have a very odd look these days that is just not attractive.

[quote Frazzledstar1]@Menora can I ask if you have any tips on how you conquered it? I’m late 30s with adult acne and in second course of antibiotics but doctor said not to expect more than a 50% improvement
Honestly it’s worse now than it was as a teenager![/quote]
I did 2 rounds of roaccutane after many rounds of oral antibiotics

I am about 4 years finished off roaccutane now and it’s all gone. Nicinamide helps a lot

When I've looked at myself in the mirror doing facial exercises I see that they might just give me lines and wrinkles in different areas! Can anyone recommend good facial exercises to help tighten things up a bit? Thank you!

It happens to men too and. They also mourn it - the George Clooneys and Richard Geres are few and far between.
Clooney was on Graham Norton not even a year ago and he said he really missed his rom-com days. He said now he all he ever gets offered are grumpy old man roles!!!

Still as beautiful as ever here at 49...

Being smiley hasn't worked for me. It's given me deep lines around my eyes. This pisses me off, as the sunbed worshipping smokers I know, do not have them.

44/45

Have really noticed it over the last 4 or so years

10! I was cute before then, afterwards I looked like I'd fallen out of the ugly tree, now I look like someone took me back to the top of the ugly tree, threw me off and I hit every branch on the way down. 🙄

I don't feel I've lost my looks, I'm certainly looking my age but I'm noticing that I still turn heads occasionally. I don't think age is really relevant at all - I see plenty of much older people that are beautiful- some conventionally so, some not, but people can shine with attractiveness regardless of age or weight.

I'm in my 50s.

Over the pandemic I have lost several people including my dad most recently.

My hair is now growing in completely white & I've gone from being chatted up by random men to being offered an arm to help me down from the cab, finding people speak more slowly to me while also more loudly & being called dear.

Took my son to the museum last week & the (older than me) guide asked if my grandson was enjoying it.

So, early 50s but I think it's the grief that has done it.

I look completely different to the way I looked even a year ago, like a much older relative of who I was then.

Last year, I could dress up & deep condition/style my hair & look as good as my younger sister (few years younger) who goes all out on the plastic surgery/botox etc..
My skin was better, so was my figure & my hair.
People would look at us together & they really thought she was older than me.

It's like all the colour has faded from me - not just from my hair. Even my eyebrows have gone so pale you can't really see them against my skin which is even paler than it ever was.

I've gone from barely a wrinkle to a really heavily lined face with jowls & sagging skin around my eyes.

I haven't put on weight.
If anything I've lost a few pounds.

I don't really care to be honest which might be part of the problem but the way I look now can't be fixed with a good nights sleep, a face mask & a bit of makeup.

I'm so sorry @ Snugglepumpkin. Grief does terrible things to us - inside and out. I have a photo of me taken about 6 months after I nursed my mum during her final illness. I looked about 15 years older than I was. And after my lovely father in law died (we looked after him, too) my head plummeted into a terrible tail spin. But you will recover. Honestly you will. Big hugs. 🙏

I'm 33 and gone beyond all help. I lost track of my face and body while the DC were babies.

I've recently started up with a skincare routine again, coloured the greys out of my hair, started wearing make-up and lost some weight.

I look haggard, drained and can't imagine anyone ever finding me attractive. It's gutting, I could cope with looking like death warmed up when I made no effort, but when I don;t look much better for making one, it's soul destroying.

Newly single and trying to resign myself to staying this way.