What age did your looks start to fade?

[SalJ90]

Do we really become less desirable as we get older? Why is this?

But it's not sad. It's just reality.

I have a newish loving relationship with someone who fancies me, the fact that I look my age hasn't prevented that. I do do some anti ageing things, hair dye aand sunscreen and night cream and what have you, but they're never going to make me look like I did when I was 35. So what?

If really don't think that looks define how attractive you are to others. Obviously it helps! But attitude, personality and charisma go a very long way.
I think I was more physically attractive 10 years ago and certainly look more tired and am a bit chunkier now but I still feel content with my appearance.

I've always looked years younger than I am, or so have been told. I'm average height and very slender and have always smiled and laughed a lot and had loads of energy. My hair is fine but there's lots of it and only a few silver streaks. Then Covid hit followed by Long Covid. I have little energy and can't walk far and I feel I've aged a lot. My mum had great skin and gave it to me but now I've got jowls and absolutely hate them. However, I'm 70.... And now I actually feel and look it.

20 when I had brain surgery and it damaged my facial nerves

I'm 50 this year and don't think I look old. I've aged obviously but it was just gradual. I've been told a lot that I don't seem nearly 50 by younger people but I think that is my dress sense, personality and looks. I have had no work done at all but I do wear make up everyday but not heavy. I suppose if I went out with no make up then people might think I look older.

I've not got any grey hairs but I do realise I will look older and older as time goes on. My Brother died when he was 18 though so I always feel lucky I've aged and he didn't get to.

Personally, I think the issue is that you’re only going to appeal to (or even be noticed by) people of around your own age and up, so the older you get, the slimmer that section of society becomes.

If this isn’t how you measure your attractiveness, or if you were never drawing that much attention in the first place, then it really doesn’t matter.

Don’t know about attractive, but my face has always looked younger than my age until chemotherapy and a surgical menopause at 46/47 aged me by about 15 years.

@JenniferPlantain

Well, this thread makes depressing reading!

Come on folks - you’re all automatically equating “looks fading” with “looking older”. That’s such a f**ked up mentality. I get it, but stop. Stop now and look at what you’re saying.

I am 43. I look 43. I think I look great. I do not look 20. Does that mean “my looks have faded”???

Society embraces youth. We have it shoved down our throats daily. That does not mean you need to look younger than you are to look great.

My looks will never fade. I will look older, I will look my age, my hair will go grey, my skin will wrinkle, things will drop (!) and men may not stop in the street as they see me approach but I will always look f**king fabulous because I will look like me.

Don’t let messed up definitions of shallow shit ruin the amazing achievement of getting older. There should not be a sense of loss to aging. X

100%

I do think people will have different goals though. I don't look 20 or 30 and I know and don't care. I look at my youthful family and friends and appreciate how young and fresh they look but I do think all ages can look lovely.

I’m 49 and my body looks more or less the same, but bum a bit lower and less perky.

Neck looks the same at some angles but awful at others, face more or less the same except for a less defined jaw and naso labial folds are more pronounced. Rarely have spots after years and years of them.

Waist length highlighted hair, no grey.

I’ve started taking my facial exercises more seriously. I use tretinoin on and off and I use factor 50. I don’t drink and I try to eat plenty of healthy fats. About two years ago, a gp had to check that I was the person she was expecting because I currently look about 8-10 years younger. Ive a feeling I’m going to suddenly age though.

I also think there is a difference between youth and beauty. I remember talking to an 80+ year old woman attending a party last year. She had a real beauty about her but I suppose some of it was inevitably “inner” beauty that shone.

Around 60 now, I do occasionally get male attention - more so in the last couple of years weirdly enough - but I must be honest and say I feel a bit sad that my romantic life feels like it’s soon coming to an end. But there are other things, other freedoms ….

@CrankyFrankie

Personally, I think the issue is that you’re only going to appeal to (or even be noticed by) people of around your own age and up, so the older you get, the slimmer that section of society becomes.

If this isn’t how you measure your attractiveness, or if you were never drawing that much attention in the first place, then it really doesn’t matter.

I get this and I wouldn't want people as young as my children and young friends fancying me. That would be weird. I don't understand women who still want attention of all ages.

During my 1st pregnancy I developed brown patches all over my face.I was told it was due to hormones and it would go away after birth but it hasn't. I would say age 32 because of the brown patches, the constant dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep since ds and now my body is podgier because the prolapses I ended up with mean most forms of exercise are now not possible unless I want my bladder and bowels to fall out of my genitals. Tbh I like being invisible, no more unwanted male harassment and I can go about my business in peace.

I definitely started fading mid 30s, then suffered with an extremely stressful situation late 30s (ongoing), which has put paid to any looks I once possessed good and proper.

Sometimes I feel sad when I look in the mirror or see a photo, but ultimately, I'm proud of who I am and how I've battled on through challenging times and I wouldn't swap my resilience for shiny packaging for anything, although both would be nice

I feel better at 42 than I ever have- I was met very confident growing up but I feel great now. I’m a healthy weight, have a good lifestyle and plenty of sleep.
I do have wrinkles and grey but that’s inevitable and I’m ok with that
I think covid impacted on a lot of people- I was lucky and worked throughout but I think it did age us

Tigger85

Are you having treatment for your prolapse? You don't sound OK?

I think being told you look younger is a sort of veiled insult. I don't care if I look younger, I just want to look good for who and what I am, whatever age I am.

The term anti-aging on skincare is another veiled insult. What's the alternative? Death?

The beauty industry and all it's tentacles in marketing and media gaslights us all into believing the most important thing is looking young, not looking happy or contented or appropriate for our ages.

Confidence makes people attractive, and all this talk about losing our looks instead of talking about our looks evolving or changing...that kills confidence and self esteem and we really need to stop doing that to ourselves, regardless of age.

I’m 56 and pretty much fitter than I’ve ever been plus bizarrely my hair has grown quite long and thick over lockdown. So I’m not worrying about any of this kind of crap yet. Can you imagine men having a thread like this? We should be doing ourselves up ladies, not putting ourselves down.

@Tigger85 I got melasma too (hormonal pigment patches) and got them to fade by using Vit c cream twice a day and using factor 50 spf daily

The prolapse issue requires medical check-ups!

Having children - so 30s.

I never had looks to fade....always felt invisible.

44 and I'm still a belter! My mum is nearly 70 and still gorgeous, Nan is 90 next year and as beautiful as ever.

We're all very happy in our own skin but in no way averse to a bit of help to look as fresh as I feel. I haven't had any yet but I won't fret when it's time.

Personally, I think the issue is that you’re only going to appeal to (or even be noticed by) people of around your own age and up, so the older you get, the slimmer that section of society becomes.

I disagree with this.

IME many younger people notice older women.

I don’t think it’s many that notice older women but some might find a women attractive and they just happen to be older

I wouldn’t like someone to be attracted to me because I was considered the older woman as I didn’t like older men attracted to me because I was the younger woman both make me feel uncomfortable

Even if a women looks good for her age it’s not the same and why does it matter so much what is more important is that we are not treated differently because we are not as attractive as we may have once been

"just enjoy who you are now. Be in the present, not regretting what has already passed." wise words Spain1980 - I'm going to say this everyday.