Husband's comments about another baby

[Tulalalala]

Me and DH were having the conversation recently about more DC. I wouldn't have minded another, he didn't (although he won't even consider getting a vasectomy ) but anyway, that's fine we've agreed no more.

However one comment keeps sticking with me.

Whilst we were talking be kept insisting if we ever did end up with another baby he would leave and not have anything to do with "it", even said at one point he'd jump off a bridge...

Anyway, this is not about him not wanting more DC, I have accepted that and it's fine. But I feel a bit pissed off about his other comments. Of course I'm not planning an accident and it likely will not happen but it makes me sad and annoyed to know if that ever did happen, he thinks he'd fuck off and not be there.

Anyway, AIBU to think this is pretty shit?

And like asking to do PIV sex when he knows I'm not taking anything whilst simultaneously saying if I got pregnant he'd abandon us / kill himself (even if joking), how unfair is that?

So I say 'yes go ahead dear' and get pregnant and then it's me who either has to abort a wanted pregnancy or deal with the potential of him actually doing what he said?

You don't want another DC, fine but at least own that decision and take the responsibility yourself by either getting the snip or you yourself refraining from sex!

@Boswellocks

I'd be giving him a push.

...off that bridge!

I’d tell people. Every single time from here on that you and Dh are in a conversation with a friend or family member, you say by the way if you have any positive stories about getting the snip can you share with Dh? He says he’d jump off a bridge if I accidentally became pregnant so there’s only one solution here in my mind!
Aim for lighthearted, but people will get it. And so will your dh, because it’s amazing how they instantly know how it sounds when other people hear it.

• if I have any more children I will jump off a bridge

• why not just have a vasectomy?

• No, I would rather jump off a bridge than do that, too

• oh fuck off

And yet you are still having unprotected sex with him.
Show yourself some respect and get him to take responsibility for contraception.
No sex till he does .

No. I'm not.

@jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey

And yet you are still having unprotected sex with him. Show yourself some respect and get him to take responsibility for contraception. No sex till he does .

Sorry should have quote this in my above post.

I'm not having unprotected sex.

@Chely

Sounds like he needs a hammer taking to his balls

I'll volunteer.

Reading about some of the men on here make me so grateful for my DH.

Sorry OP but he sounds like a tosser and you deserve better.

@Tulalalala

And like asking to do PIV sex when he knows I'm not taking anything whilst simultaneously saying if I got pregnant he'd abandon us / kill himself (even if joking), how unfair is that?

So I say 'yes go ahead dear' and get pregnant and then it's me who either has to abort a wanted pregnancy or deal with the potential of him actually doing what he said?

You don't want another DC, fine but at least own that decision and take the responsibility yourself by either getting the snip or you yourself refraining from sex!

Have you said all of this to him? In those words?

Next time he says anything like that say you agree and to book an appointment to have it chopped off. So you're really sure there's no chance. Then cackle.

Seriously, tell him what an awful thing to say and it makes him look like a jerk.

@Bubblesandsqueak1

Everyone saying a vasectomy is just a little op it's not over 30% end up with some kind of complications from failure to chronic pain

The complication rate of jumping off a bridge would be significantly higher, and if he doesn't want children he should take responsibility for the contraception.

Honestly OP I just couldn't be with someone like that, he sounds awful. Why are you with him?

@Bubblesandsqueak1

Everyone saying a vasectomy is just a little op it's not over 30% end up with some kind of complications from failure to chronic pain

Bullshit

@jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey

And yet you are still having unprotected sex with him. Show yourself some respect and get him to take responsibility for contraception. No sex till he does .

She's not though!

YANBU OP

That is a cruel and calious thing to say. My ex said he would disappear after DS was born too... if I fell on and we both up until this day both just have 1 DC.

Take heed OP. It needs to be discussed it's possible or you should both consider ending.

No more sex until he gets the snip.

So he doesnt want a vasectomy. Will he wear a condom or is that beneath him too.

When we reached a similar impass (I wanted a third, dh didnt and didnt want the snip) we proceeded by dh taking all responsibility for contraception from then on. Which (sadly for me) worked fine.

I have been in your situation. I did get pregnant after he carried on when I told him to stop. He then bullied me into an abortion. I've come to terms finally with not being strong enough to say no but for me the marriage was over from that point.

I couldn't be with someone whose love she commitment were so conditional and it was incredibly hurtfully expressed.

And

I’d have sex and have the baby. If he leaves, bonus.

What a horrible man. Accidents happen, so he should make sure he gets the snip.

I really have no patience for these selfish men. You should leave him.

Wow, he's being deeply unreasonable about the contraception. You need to put your foot down - he gets the snip or uses condoms, or no sex, because of what HE has said about having more kids. Make it clear you will not have an abortion and he needs to sort this out if he wants to continue having sex.