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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this was disability discrimination - asked to leave soft play after 2 hours (2 children with ASD/ADHD)

113 replies

Daffodilz · 06/04/2022 14:38

Today went to local soft play. It had a brilliant fun and kind owner. Sadly has since changed hands.

My 2 youngest have adhd/asd. We were the only family asked to leave after 2 hours play. Other families with neurotypical children who also entered at 10am weren't asked to leave. AIBU to think this is disability discrimination?

As not to drip feed they weren't behaving badly or loud.

I'd paid exactly the same as them.

Any parents of children with additional needs have similar? What would you have done or said?

OP posts:
SickAndTiredAgain · 06/04/2022 17:27

@Daffodilz

It's cool - we won't go again. We're lucky to have plenty of options re entertainment. I'm kicking myself for not asking for a 1.75 refund on the jug of juice.
But surely you were expecting to be asked to leave at 2 hours (or at least knew it was a possibility) so I’m not sure why you bought it.
marjayy · 06/04/2022 17:27

@twominutesmore

Or you've got form for overstaying and someone was determined you wouldn't this time.

Or you've got form for buying juice after 1 hour 58 mins so staff don't feel they can ask you to leave, and someone was determined it wouldn't fly this time.

Good point.

Whinge · 06/04/2022 17:28

@Daffodilz

How the hell do you know they paid extra?
The reverse could be asked.

How the hell do you know they didn't pay extra?

🤷🏼

iklboo · 06/04/2022 17:29

How the hell do you know they paid extra?

How do you know they didn't?

Responsiveroo · 06/04/2022 17:29

@Daffodilz

How the hell do you know they paid extra?
I don’t. I said it as an option.

At mine it’s (wait for it) 2 hours max or pay extra for half hour. New management and perhaps they’ve introduced this.

Either way -vveeerrry clear you don’t like the new management. I suspect you will spread this around the village.
I doubt the new management will be sorry that you won’t return Grin

Responsiveroo · 06/04/2022 17:30

Has it occurred to you that they were keen for you to leave, but NOT because l of your children? Grin

OhRiRi · 06/04/2022 17:30

@JenniferBarkley

Do you have form? Sounds like you're there often enough to know that you're not usually thrown out after the two hours you've paid for, so maybe the staff have realised you regularly overstay and so have been asked to put a stop to it? If the others aren't regulars they will have been given more flexibility?
Nailed it...
Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 06/04/2022 17:34

@Daffodilz

I'm not going again as it's not as pleasant/enjoyable as previously.
Why all the fuss on here then? Just don't go again. You paid for a time limit, you got the time limit, no discrimination. You don't know if others paid more to stay longer. If you don't like time limits being enforced, try somewhere else.
SpaceFarce · 06/04/2022 17:35

@Responsiveroo

Has it occurred to you that they were keen for you to leave, but NOT because l of your children? Grin
I also thought this!
ColdSeptember · 06/04/2022 17:40

Meh. You paid for two hours, then chose to buy a drink just before the two hours were up presumably in the hope you'd be allowed to overstay. But you weren't.

I don't think that getting exactly what you paid for is classed as disability discrimination.

MRex · 06/04/2022 17:51

I've also cleaned the floor myself as it was covered in food.
Whose food?

DoYouSeaWhatISea · 06/04/2022 17:51

I compare these situations to driving. Everyone is speeding. But only one person gets pulled over and given a ticket. Next time, another person will be ticketed. It’s just life, it’s not necessarily personal. Maybe look at it like that.

Is it also possible that after you left, others were asked to leave?

VyeBrator · 06/04/2022 17:56

@Daffodilz

It's cool - we won't go again. We're lucky to have plenty of options re entertainment. I'm kicking myself for not asking for a 1.75 refund on the jug of juice.
Right, so you're kicking yourself for not asking for £1.75 back but you're totally OK with not asking why you were the only ones asked to leave?

Strange.

latetothefisting · 06/04/2022 17:56

But why didn't you say something if it's annoyed you so much? I.e.
"Why are you only asking me to leave and none of the other families that came in the same time as me?"
"I thought the 2hr rule only applied if the soft play was full, and there seems like loads of space?"
"Do you mind if we stay an extra ten minutes so I can finish the squash I've just bought?"
If it's that annoying say something at the time when you're in a position to change it/get answers not moan hours later on MN where nobody knows what happened nor the rationale.

Responsiveroo · 06/04/2022 17:57

I suspect op has flounced

Indicatrice · 06/04/2022 18:02

I think you’re guessing and stretching, OP.

Peppapig7262662 · 06/04/2022 18:05

I used to work in a soft play area.

We would call the families one by one in 5 minute increments, to avoid a rush of kids trying to run out together, getting upset etc.

Lou98 · 06/04/2022 18:06

@Daffodilz

How the hell do you know they paid extra?

How the hell do you know your kids disabilities is why they asked you to leave?

TiredTeaAndHotWaterBottles · 06/04/2022 18:22

Think you r trying to make something of nothing

x2boys · 06/04/2022 18:24

Its years since I took my kids to soft play ,but it's vaguely recall signing in with a time ,so maybe other families arrived a few minutes after you and were also being asked to leave after their two hours
That said surely two hours is more than enough in soft play?

XenoBitch · 06/04/2022 18:25

How did you know that the other children were neurotypical?

incognitoforthisone · 06/04/2022 18:26

@Daffodilz

How the hell do you know they paid extra?
How do you know they didn't?

OP, there is not a cat's chance in hell that that you were asked to leave soft play because someone there might have known your perfectly well-behaved and non-disruptive child has an invisible disability.

There are loads of potential explanations, all of which have been suggested to you, which are infinitely more likely. You seem really determined to prove discrimination when there is precisely zero evidence that any discrimination occurred, and you're now going to deprive your kids of a fun activity for literally no reason.

You sound like you actually want people to discriminate against your kids. Why on earth wouldn't you be relieved to think that there were much more innocent explanations?

BritInUS1 · 06/04/2022 18:30

@iklboo

How the hell do you know they paid extra?

How do you know they didn't?

This
Gizacluethen · 06/04/2022 18:35

Tbh I think yoir kids were probably misbehaving but your radar is a bit off with them being autistic. I can't see any 9ther reason they'd ask you to leave and it be because they're autistic.

Were your kids affecting other kids ability to play? Were they going into the wrong area, climbing up the slide, climbing over other kids, pushing past kids, hogging certain areas or toys. Things that might make everyone else feel like they weren't getting what they paid for and the staff felt like it was fair now to let the other kids get to play properly once you'd had your 2hrs.

SaxendaSummer · 06/04/2022 18:42

what an odd thread!!

theres no discrimination from what I can see.....and no AIBU as op has all the answers and made her mind up before even posting