Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this was disability discrimination - asked to leave soft play after 2 hours (2 children with ASD/ADHD)

113 replies

Daffodilz · 06/04/2022 14:38

Today went to local soft play. It had a brilliant fun and kind owner. Sadly has since changed hands.

My 2 youngest have adhd/asd. We were the only family asked to leave after 2 hours play. Other families with neurotypical children who also entered at 10am weren't asked to leave. AIBU to think this is disability discrimination?

As not to drip feed they weren't behaving badly or loud.

I'd paid exactly the same as them.

Any parents of children with additional needs have similar? What would you have done or said?

OP posts:
Lou98 · 06/04/2022 15:55

@Daffodilz

It's cool - we won't go again. We're lucky to have plenty of options re entertainment. I'm kicking myself for not asking for a 1.75 refund on the jug of juice.

I doubt you'd have got anywhere asking for a refund - you know they have a 2hr rule and you chose to buy the juice at that point.

I do think YABU - if your children weren't misbehaving and being loud as you've said, why would they possibly have asked you to leave due to their disability? Especially when you're only making that reach because one member of staff also works at their school. She will be used to children with disabilities most likely working at a school, I doubt she'd want to put perfectly behaving children out.

You say the others didn't pay for more time but how can you possibly know that? They maybe never when first going in but if they were asked to leave or seen that it was coming up to the 2hrs they may have went and asked to extend - you can't know for sure that they never anymore than you can know it was due to disabilities so I'm not sure why you're so quick to dismiss that as a possibility?

Rights · 06/04/2022 15:59

To those generalising about parents of neurodiverse children being "entitled": shame on you. Go away and read a fucking book.

OP: it sounds like it's hard to know exactly why this happened - perhaps it was just that the owners knew/were friendly with some of the other families so let them stay on a bit longer? If it happens again, calmly ask whether the request applies just to your family or others as well, and why. I get it though - discrimination towards SEND kids is rife, sadly.

TheOrigRights · 06/04/2022 15:59

I think unless you can prove you were asked to leave BECAUSE of your children's additional needs then you don't have a leg to stand on (hmm, is that a bad choice of phrase?)

Because you didn't ask for the reason at the time I don't think you will ever know.

LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 06/04/2022 16:07

What about your children's additional needs would have made anyone want to make you leave sooner than others?

(What made you feel that the disability was the reason for being treated differently?)

Kanaloa · 06/04/2022 16:10

How do you know all this about all the other parents? To be honest it doesn’t sound like discrimination - you paid for two hours, played for two hours, then were asked to leave. It’s not their fault you bought juice right before your session ended.

MichelleScarn · 06/04/2022 16:16

@Daffodilz

It's cool - we won't go again. We're lucky to have plenty of options re entertainment. I'm kicking myself for not asking for a 1.75 refund on the jug of juice.
Absolutely change of subject but we're bloody £2 a fruit shoot at our local soft play! Well and truly jell!
yellowsuninthesky · 06/04/2022 16:17

@cptartapp

Bit risky buying more juice so close to the two hour mark.
You could have said, ok give us 5 minutes to finish our drinks. It seems like you left all meekly and then came and complained here. It would have been better to say something at the time.

I don't think you have any evidence this was discrimination. No idea why they asked you to leave and apparently nobody else but it's a leap to jump to conclusions that it must have been because a team member works at a local school.

yellowsuninthesky · 06/04/2022 16:18

Also, how do you know that all the other children who were there don't have additional needs too?

PAFMO · 06/04/2022 16:22

Why did you buy juice knowing your time was up?

Pyri · 06/04/2022 16:23

Not the point of the thread I know but 2 hours in a soft play sounds like hell on earth, I’m counting down the minutes to the hour being up after about 8!

JenniferBarkley · 06/04/2022 16:28

Do you have form? Sounds like you're there often enough to know that you're not usually thrown out after the two hours you've paid for, so maybe the staff have realised you regularly overstay and so have been asked to put a stop to it? If the others aren't regulars they will have been given more flexibility?

MargeSimpson79 · 06/04/2022 16:34

Maybe the other people had also ordered some juice but asked if they could stay 10m to finish it off? It feels like you are massively jumping to weird conclusions to be honest. You think that you got asked to leave when your time was up purely because someone who works there happens to know that your children have asd/adhd? I think there are other far more likely reasons.

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 06/04/2022 16:44

If I'd just bought a jug of juice and told my time was up I would say to the attendant that we would finish the juice but the children wouldn't go back on the equipment and then we would leave.

Did you actually ask something similar or pack up as soon as they said?

I also live in a small town and it's not unusual for people to get to stay longer if they know the staff working that day and it isn't busy but if you don't or it's busy you go at your normal time.

Billandben444 · 06/04/2022 16:55

Personally I'd phone or email them to ask if the 2-hr limit is enforced when they're half empty. Wait for their answer and then ask them why your family was asked to leave but not the others. Give them a chance to explain first before you accuse them of anything - you might be pleased of the facility when next winter comes round.

CecilyP · 06/04/2022 16:56

It's cool - we won't go again. We're lucky to have plenty of options re entertainment. I'm kicking myself for not asking for a 1.75 refund on the jug of juice.

It seems a little foolish to buy a jug of juice at just the time your slot was about to finish. Why were you taking it for granted that you would get extra time?

twominutesmore · 06/04/2022 17:01

This doesn't make sense. Your children were well behaved and playing happily.

You think someone who knows you from school told the soft play staff that your kids have SEN and they all agreed to kick you out for that reason? So several malicious, discriminatory staff kicked out two delightful children just because they have SEN? It doesn't add up at all.

I think it's far more likely that you left but the others all said they'd leave 'in a minute.' Or they packed up and stood chatting in reception so you didn't see them leave. Or they came in a couple of minutes after you so still had a few minutes to go. Or they were having a nice time so paid for another session. Or your kids were less well behaved than you think and someone complained.

twominutesmore · 06/04/2022 17:03

Or you've got form for overstaying and someone was determined you wouldn't this time.

Or you've got form for buying juice after 1 hour 58 mins so staff don't feel they can ask you to leave, and someone was determined it wouldn't fly this time.

Neverreturntoathread · 06/04/2022 17:09

I wonder if she’d been told by new owner to ask people to leave after 2 hrs, but saw the silent fury in your eyes and decided not to ask anyone else?

I’m amazed you still have a softplay, everything here closed in pandemic.

I wouldn’t boycott it because of a one off or assume it was disablity discrimination.

marjayy · 06/04/2022 17:12

Why would you buy a jug of drink if you knew the 2hrs were up?

girlmom21 · 06/04/2022 17:12

@Neverreturntoathread

I wonder if she’d been told by new owner to ask people to leave after 2 hrs, but saw the silent fury in your eyes and decided not to ask anyone else?

I’m amazed you still have a softplay, everything here closed in pandemic.

I wouldn’t boycott it because of a one off or assume it was disablity discrimination.

Wow where are you?

We have loads of soft plays. 3 new ones opened last month within a 3 mile radius!

SpaceFarce · 06/04/2022 17:13

Why post on AIBU when you’re convinced you’re not?

girlmom21 · 06/04/2022 17:14

@SpaceFarce

Why post on AIBU when you’re convinced you’re not?
So there's plenty of traffic to see the flounce
Responsiveroo · 06/04/2022 17:20

Nah
If your children were as you say
No way did they discriminate by kicking you out early. Why? Because you didn’t sit the “ascetics” of a local soft play?! Don’t be daft

The others paid extra
Or you were slightly ahead of them and they’d reached capacity so to accept new ones - they had to ask those who’d arrive earliest to leave

Original poster
Daffodilz · 06/04/2022 17:23

I'm not going again as it's not as pleasant/enjoyable as previously.

OP posts:
Original poster
Daffodilz · 06/04/2022 17:24

How the hell do you know they paid extra?

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread