When men say "I prefer women without make-up"...

[ThingThatIBring]

AIBU to think that when men say "I prefer women without make-up" that they don't usually know what they're talking about (and don't usually have a clue that women ARE wearing it)?

The reality of this statement is usually:

• I don't like it when women wear really obvious MAKE-UP make-up (loads of lippy and false eyelashes etc) or when it's badly applied (making it obvious);
• I like really good-looking fresh-faced young women whose complexions, etc., look smooth without it;
• I like to think of myself as very wholesome (and maybe a bit of a feminist).

What they DON'T mean (but don't realise they don't mean) is:

• I prefer the look of the average woman of my own age without any make-up on.

I know so many men who say this, and it always mildly irritates me as it's said like it's a kind of virtue.

As a post-mating-phase human, it's not like it really affects my life. But it always makes me feel for all the women who are still in a position where they're affected by this nonsense...

Recalling a discussion at work. I work in a male dominated dept. On another floor there is a female dominated dept. I commented to my female colleague that if I worked downstairs id probably make more of an effort with my appearance. The guys were surprised by that: I explained that honestly we don’t really care what men think of our clothes and makeup. It’s other women we are more interested in

@ShowOfHands

DH doesn't really give a shit what other people do with their faces and doesn't have the opportunity to have an opinion on me as I don't wear make up.

I am more concerned about the way women talk about make up. Even on this thread. Everybody looks better with it, we look tired without it, every woman needs at least mascara and lip gloss. What the FUCK are we doing?

I don't shave my armpits and actually, most men don't care (some really like it) but women? Oh God, the disgusted nose wrinkles and rude comments.

I so agree.

Women wear make up for other women.

My husband hates make up. He hates lipstick and the way it smears and is gloppy and slimy. I too can't stand it. I hate the taste, the feel, the greasy heaviness.

As for foundation etc he said let your skin breathe.

He doesn't mind mascara but he's not bothered either way and said I look beautiful without it too and should just go natural. (I used to always get it on straight away when we got together as NO ONE had ever seen me without mascara for about a decade or more).

So no OP I disagree with you completely.

In addition, when you see those insane tutorials of women radically changing their faces and morphing into someone else completely and those HIDEOUS false eyelashes that make women just look plain weird - you know, as women, we have a problem with our appearance.

Men don't bother with this level of pressure. Why should we? I don't shave anything these days. Take me as I am. You've learnt your rules of beauty through the big media companies that pump out messages all day long that you're not good enough just as you are.

I just say every time in my mind "fuck off". I can't deny make up makes me feel more confident but all the more reason not to bow down to the evil gods of western beauty ideals parped out by the likes of the Kardashians, who would have us pumping ourselves full of shit to do what exactly? Look better?

If a man loves you, he loves you for YOU, not because you got good with a make-up brush watching videos on YouTube and decided that being just as you are wasn't good enough. For who exactly?

Who determines your beauty? Your level of "good enough"? Does everyone else's opinion of you matter so much more than your own?

As women we aren't taught every to love ourselves but instead to constantly compare ourselves and find flaws. And then those greedy make-up companies lap up all our money... and the TV stations earn more dollars. And your face? It stays, well, exactly the same.

I think men don't like the trickery either. They want to see you as you are. The real you. It's like breast size. Most men don't give a shit. It's women who go off and have breast implants. A lot of men don't like them. Why would you alter the real you?

#rantover

@scottishnames

All I can say is I've never worn make-up - makes me itch - and I've never had boyfriends (now husband) that minded. I'm by no means conventionally beautiful, either.

If today's men are that shallow/insecure that they demand make-up on us or on themselves then - sorry - I would not bother. The whole paradigm needs radically shifting. We are who we are, FFS, and should be proud of it. Just look at most blokes - not picture perfect .... but many very loveable all the same.

this absolutely and same here. I could never stand the feel of it on my face.

Lots of men are like this moan when you diet eat a salad want a woman to eat burgers and pizzas but would kick off if she gained a lot of weight.

They mean they don't want women wearing lots and lots of makeup but they definitely prefer women with natural looking makeup.

Some people go waaaay over the top with make up. I rarely wear make up apart from mascara and if people don't do it well then I think women look better without as well. Be them smooth faced or wrinkled.

When I was young men were always telling me I'd be hot if I made more of an effort. Always so generous with the feedback!

@CatsArePeople

They mean make-up like your face is caked in it, like you're wearing a mask. Plenty of women abuse make-up.

I thought this is what most men mean.

@JulieBeds

YES!!!!!!!

I am more concerned about the way women talk about make up. Even on this thread. Everybody looks better with it, we look tired without it, every woman needs at least mascara and lip gloss. What the FUCK are we doing?

This. I prefer how I look without make up. Part of my job involves seeing women with make up, and after they take it off, and hand on heart I think every single one looks better without.

As for dh, he thinks I look nice with make up, but prefers without.

All these blokes who don’t realise what no make up looks like- perhaps it’s because it’s rare for women not to wear any. Which says a lot about societal pressure on women’s looks.

Julie I agree - I think (my post just after yours) that we are saying the same thing.

I think men who don’t like make up can have control vibes.
I had one bf who hated it and even if I wore a tiny bit insisted I looked disgusting and asked me to wash it off. Looking back, he clearly didn’t want me looking attractive to anyone else. So I probably have a skewed view if it.
I’m
Not sure bc why some are going around giving one fuck about what men like or don’t like though

Excellent post @JulieBeds 👏

Loving this thread 👏 🤣

I don’t give a fuckty fuck what they say.

Dya think I bought a 25£ lipstick to impress the men folk. Or spent 15 minutes perfecting my winged eye? I sure as hell did not.

Men will fuck anything - make up or no make up. They just spout this shit to sound more high brow than they actually are. Especially the self professed “nice guy”

I know so many men who say this, and it always mildly irritates me as it's said like it's a kind of virtue.

I disagree.

I have lots of male friends and often it genuinely means they just prefer a more natural face.

It’s like when women prefer shaggy beards over clean shaven.
Many women don’t like when men fuss too much over their looks and some men are the same.

Some men just don’t understand make up. They think what’s the point in spending time and money when you look fine without it.

There are also females who wear way too much make up and they look worse than without any.

There’s also some men who feel catfished - when they go on a date with someone who looks completely different after they’ve taken their make up off.

There’s also men who don’t like other men looking at their partner and they think wearing make up draws attention to them.

I also I think as these days a ton of “ natural” make up seems to be a thing, men are genuinely thinking fuck why is she caked in the stuff

Back in the day it’s was a bit more theatrical ( blue mascara, bright eyeshadow, goth look) but not in the quantity that women wear in now.

Bravo @JulieBeds! 💐💃🎷

@Marathoninjury

My friends boyfriend said he preferred women without makeup, I asked like who for example? He said Reece Witherspoon, Halle berry and Sandra bullock always look great and don’t wear makeup. Then said every man fancies at least one of the women from friends and every woman wanted to be one of them and they didn’t wear makeup but then the kardashians shot to fame and ‘the main one’ wear makeup and ‘another one’ sells it and that’s why it’s so popular now.

That was an interesting conversation.

Priceless!!!

If we all stopped wearing makeup, they'd lose their collective shit.

Well, perhaps that's how we start the revolution, right there.

But we never, ever will.

Incidentally, does contouring work in real life? It's witchcraft in still photos and filtered videos where you don't change your angle much, but given it works by creating the illusion of light and shadow in certain places, doesn't this look a bit weird in real life where the lighting isn't fixed?

@DrSbaitso I think it can if done carefully. I’ve seen people who’ve done it less carefully and they look weird, like they’re wearing a mask of themselves. I remember seeing a woman walk towards me once who was contoured to the hilt. Further away she looked amazing but close up she looked like her face didn’t quite belong to her.

As for makeup generally, I couldn’t give one shiny shit what a man thinks about what make up I do or don’t wear - sure, he can have a preference but he’d better keep that to himself because if I want to go without makeup, I will. And if I want to go the full on pin-up eyeliner/red lipstick/heavy makeup I’ll fucking well do that too. The idea that we dress for men and not for ourselves dies oh so fucking hard. And spare me the painfully woke types who are going to beardsplain why they are liberating me from myself and the tyranny of the beauty industry

The only time I’m interested in a man’s opinion on make up is if he’s wearing it. Because a good looking chap in a bit of eye makeup can really float my boat.

I never wear makeup, not really intentionally I would love to look like all the well turned out women I see with hair and makeup done but I'm just not capable of it and I find it really uncomfortable on my skin. The very rare occasion I do put makeup it objectively makes me look better but OH says he prefers me without it. he says he finds it attractive when a woman looks messy and undone..not sure if it's a compliment... . he prefers unshaved legs too. I think he just likes the 'unkempt' look.

I'm convinced it's something to do with his upbringing as his mum made lots of disapproving comments on my "scruffy" appearance when we first got together which seemed to absolutely delight him! So I do think some men genuinely do prefer zero makeup. Equally im sure many if not most men prefer the full beat. Someone out there for everyone !

Men who dont like women wearing makeup

Women who criticise other women wearing makup

Women who brag about not wearing makeup

Meh

Aside from that, men dont wear make up neither are they obliged to date/marry a woman who wears makeup, if its not their thing. So i still can't fathom why women even care what men think on this.

It irritates me too.

@Gowithme

Isn't it a bit sad that you couldn't believe that men couldn't possibly like women unless they wear makeup everyday? Do most people really wear make up all the time? I haven't felt the need since I was an insecure 20 year old. Now I couldn't give a shit.

I now wear it more than I used to. I like it. I think I look better with it. Next year I may not wear it at all. It’s not sad to do things that make you happy.

DP very rarely wears makeup (to the point it’s almost jarring when she does) so I know exactly what “no makeup” looks like - at least on her. TBH, on most work mornings she won’t even bother with a hairbrush.

It’s never worried me (I genuinely prefer her natural look) which is just as well, as she’d tell me to fuck off three different ways to Sunday if I so much as hinted that she’d look better with some on (she wouldn’t).

Unless they end up living with someone channelling Dolly Parton, I don’t think many men would “never” have seen their partner bare-faced at some point in their relationship.