When men say "I prefer women without make-up"...

[ThingThatIBring]

AIBU to think that when men say "I prefer women without make-up" that they don't usually know what they're talking about (and don't usually have a clue that women ARE wearing it)?

The reality of this statement is usually:

• I don't like it when women wear really obvious MAKE-UP make-up (loads of lippy and false eyelashes etc) or when it's badly applied (making it obvious);
• I like really good-looking fresh-faced young women whose complexions, etc., look smooth without it;
• I like to think of myself as very wholesome (and maybe a bit of a feminist).

What they DON'T mean (but don't realise they don't mean) is:

• I prefer the look of the average woman of my own age without any make-up on.

I know so many men who say this, and it always mildly irritates me as it's said like it's a kind of virtue.

As a post-mating-phase human, it's not like it really affects my life. But it always makes me feel for all the women who are still in a position where they're affected by this nonsense...

I am a lesbian and my wife does not wear make-up and I think she is beautiful. There is a pressure to wear make-up for women, it's sometimes expected, or women who don't wear it are thought less attractive than those who do (illustrated by this thread). It's not random chance that women generally wear makeup and men don't. It's about the pressure that the patriarchy puts on women to look different than their face looks in truth. I find it attractive that she, and lots of other lesbians, reject the idea that women need to put anything on their faces to look acceptable or beautiful. That seems a strong thing to do to me, not to be bowed by that pressure. And that's attractive.
But I wouldn't judge a woman who did wear makeup, I hope. We don't get anywhere by blaming individual women for the choices they make under the pressure of society's expectations.

“(I reckon the 'no-make-up-brigade' are the same ones who say they have no issue with their DH having a close female friend, and sharing hobbies with her and going away with her, and who claim they never shave their pubes, as their DH isn't attracted to toddlers. They seem like the same type...)”

This!!

@Marathoninjury

I saw this ages ago and this thread made me remember it - www.reddit.com/r/feemagers/comments/crgoom/while_there_are_exceptions_a_lot_of_guys_who_say/

It’s a woman in four photos - what men think heavy makeup is, what heavy makeup really is, what men think no makeup is, what no makeup actually is.

Hmm, makeup can't save some.

I think men mean no make-up. Non, eg straight out of the shower, or swimming baths. Au Naturel.

I do find it funny that if a women says she shaved for her that’s a lie it’s because of porn because men. But if a women says her make up is for her that’s ok that’s not a lie.

I don’t wear any really ever, I’m also not a cool wife and nor do I think those who save look like toddlers. As I do shave.

Either shaving and make up are just for us or both are because of men and porn.

The pic on the top right of that pic is definitely the look most men will prefer IMO. Although the bottom left one looks good too. Not that we care!!!

Also, this is the look I prefer. Either top right or bottom left.

Also, I agree with a pp, the woman in the pic on the bottom right is a different woman to the one in the other 3 pics.

Sorry that pic ^ was from @Marathoninjury's link...

www.reddit.com/r/feemagers/comments/crgoom/while_there_are_exceptions_a_lot_of_guys_who_say/

@LuckySantangelo35 I don't often wear make up and I do shave as I prefer it , my dh can have female friends yes but their is limits of course, i basically don't wear make up much because I can't be arsed , I am not that great at it and luckily have good skin so that helps
My dh makes no preference really as he is used to seeing me without but also at times with a little on
I do remember my ds when he was 3 seeing me put some make up on for the first time and saying ' mum why are you doing that , your not a lady '
But for me it doesn't have to go together , I do whats right for me .
Gave up worrying about what others think long ago

@MurmuratingStarling where are the attacks on women for wearing make up from other women
I rarely wear make up , if you do I don't care as thats your choice
My mum would not leave the house without make up , thats up to her and I often buy her nice make up as she likes it
Im not a natural beauty but I can't be arsed to wear make up most of the time , so I don't its as simple as that
My niece wears loads , but she does amazing make up , unusual styles etc but she always looks great too

@Hrpuffnstuff1
They don’t. They mean natural looking makeup

Either shaving and make up are just for us or both are because of men and porn

Or different for different people perhaps?

I was brought up by a woman who wore makeup. It was a normal part of being an adult woman for me and I never questioned it. Any bloke who didn’t like it was perfectly welcome to fuck off and find someone else.

Equally I was a young woman at a time when the only time most women removed their public hair was when the midwife did it when you went into labour. We all hated it. I’ve never removed mine.

Those are personal decisions that work for me. Not men, not porn - I’ve actually never seen any porn.

@MurmuratingStarling but you insulted people who don't wear make up as well , especially in your last post
And genuinely I don't want to impress anyone , I do things for me and my family
I learnt a long time ago you can't be bothered by what others think
But your post is ironic as you claim people are being rude but then you are too

@worriedatthistime
You sound very well balanced!
But there is definitely a type of woman out there that doesn’t wear makeup, won’t shave as they think it makes them look like a child and their partner doesn’t like that, has no care for their appearance as their mind is occupied with more virtuous things and they assume their DP will fancy them forever no matter what they look like

@MurmuratingStarling

The pic on the top right of that pic is definitely the look most men will prefer IMO. Although the bottom left one looks good too. Not that we care!!!

Also, this is the look I prefer. Either top right or bottom left.

Also, I agree with a pp, the woman in the pic on the bottom right is a different woman to the one in the other 3 pics.

I think bottom R is the same woman, her quite distinctive teeth are identical. I've also seen some amazing before and afters on 'catfish' posts where the woman is completely unrecognisable. It's very clever.

where are the attacks on women for wearing make up from other women
Have you not read the thread? I posted some of the comments earlier, we have had to name just a few
Fake
Insecure
Sad
Shallow
Not very bright

It is the same woman, albeit at a slightly less flattering angle. Just evening out the skin tone makes a massive difference, although then you can look a bit "flat" and need a touch of colour on your other features to bring them out a little. Or a whole frigging palette of it if that's your pleasure. Or none. It's makeup. It has no moral value.

Aboriginal dancers embracing the natural look here.

I don't wear makeup, but I do like to look, what I consider, good. I do that by keeping fit and healthy, my skin tone is even and I like smooth legs.

I much prefer no make-up to heavy make-up but would place minimal make-up above both of those.

E.g. like picture.

The blonde there ^ looks like the same girl. But I would definitely say the woman in the pic bottom right is a different woman to the other 3.

Not contradicting anyone. Just shocked that she is the same woman!

On my pic at 14.49 obvs!

One of the things that throws me is the woman (bottom right pic) has a different hairstyle to the other 3. That's what it is I think.

This woman looks perfectly nice without make up but I think looks lovely with it.

Agree @AmberLynn1536

IMO though, although she looks perfectly OK on the left, she looks more tired and washed out than on the right (IMO.)

@AmberLynn1536

This woman looks perfectly nice without make up but I think looks lovely with it.

Like the young blonde woman in skybluee's pic, she just looks like a more polished version of herself. And both will be wearing about 12 products to do it!

Not saying everyone looks a bit tired and washed out with no make up, but that lady does a bit. (IMO.)

EVERYONE looks better with carefully applied natural looking makeup eg smooth complexion, longer lashes and filled in brows

So what you really mean is:

I don’t think your lashes meet my standards for length.

I don’t think your complexion meets my standard of perfection.

I don’t think your brows meet my standards of beauty.

Personally I think everyone’s lashes, brows and skin are more than perfect on their own.

Choose to wear make up if you want. But don’t tell other women they would look better if they changed their face.

Fuck sake we’re supposed to be building other women up, not saying well you’re ok, but would be more acceptable if you changed x y and z.

Everyone is beautiful, they don’t need society’s version of “enhancement”.