When men say "I prefer women without make-up"...

[ThingThatIBring]

AIBU to think that when men say "I prefer women without make-up" that they don't usually know what they're talking about (and don't usually have a clue that women ARE wearing it)?

The reality of this statement is usually:

• I don't like it when women wear really obvious MAKE-UP make-up (loads of lippy and false eyelashes etc) or when it's badly applied (making it obvious);
• I like really good-looking fresh-faced young women whose complexions, etc., look smooth without it;
• I like to think of myself as very wholesome (and maybe a bit of a feminist).

What they DON'T mean (but don't realise they don't mean) is:

• I prefer the look of the average woman of my own age without any make-up on.

I know so many men who say this, and it always mildly irritates me as it's said like it's a kind of virtue.

As a post-mating-phase human, it's not like it really affects my life. But it always makes me feel for all the women who are still in a position where they're affected by this nonsense...

Not sure how you can know what men mean when they say this, any more than you can get into anyone’s head when they say things.

@SamphirethePogoingStickerist

Fully, fully agree with that. DP is the same, and I think a lot of men feel that way - rather than being raging misogynists.

What IS misogynistic is - perhaps make up itself, and the whole marketing behind it which women have been subjected to for years. I’d rather get angry about that.

@pastypirate

@MurmuratingStarling thank you for the word 'beardsplain'. Love it!!

Thank you! It's a great word isn't it? I can't take credit for it though, I got it from @GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin

Men who make remarks like this, either to women or to other men, are so blithely lacking in self awareness that they fail to appreciate how arrogant they are, and how faulty is their assumption that women wear makeup for their benefit.

Women who make remarks like this have a chip on their shoulder and need to address their internalised hatred of men and how faulty their assumption is that they are arrogant and raging misogynists. Or, would that be me making a huge sweeping generalisation based on an individual statement someone makes?

Nobody asked their opinion. It's yet another example of men trying to tell women how they should live their lives, mansplaining to the nth degree.

You are on MN. This place is riddled with OPs and responses where women tell other women how they should live their lives when nobody has asked. Given you are a prolific poster, I dare say I wouldn’t have to look too far back to see you doing the same thing. I have never heard a man just suddenly pipe up about women wearing makeup, it is always within the context of a conversation or situation. Let’s not decide men just aren’t allowed to have preferences and opinions that we might disagree with.

@Ladyli

My husband always tells me he prefers me without makeup, I used to have lovely skin but now suffer from rosacea so I wear make up which makes me feel better. However he still prefers me with no make up !

@Ladyli

Have you tried azelaic acid? I had really good results with this:

www.cultbeauty.co.uk/the-ordinary-azelaic-acid-suspension-10-30ml/11382032.html?reviewActionType=successfulvote

I have pretty good skin but sometimes I wake up with spots around my hairline and redness around my eyes. It's a relief to be able to put on my makeup in the office bathroom and hide it away.

I don't think there is any woman out there who wouldn't suffer from an occasional spot. Most of it is hormonal. And when men say they like natural beauty, I don't think they mean they like going out on a date with a woman who has a giant spot on her nose. And if you are applying concealer/foundation, your face can look very flat without accompanying blusher, subtle eye makeup/mascara and a lip tint. I used to just wear only BB cream in my uni days but it did look strange in pics without the eye makeup and cheek colour etc.

This thread is just an excuse to be derogatory about women who don't wear makeup and men who dare find them attractive. I suppose it's challenging to spend so much time and money over a lifetime in faking your appearance only to discover there are women and men who are totally impervious to it!

@Stravaig

This thread is just an excuse to be derogatory about women who don't wear makeup and men who dare find them attractive. I suppose it's challenging to spend so much time and money over a lifetime in faking your appearance only to discover there are women and men who are totally impervious to it!

Ooh burn

@Stravaig

This thread is just an excuse to be derogatory about women who don't wear makeup and men who dare find them attractive. I suppose it's challenging to spend so much time and money over a lifetime in faking your appearance only to discover there are women and men who are totally impervious to it!

I don't care if other women wear make up or not.

@Stravaig

This thread is just an excuse to be derogatory about women who don't wear makeup and men who dare find them attractive. I suppose it's challenging to spend so much time and money over a lifetime in faking your appearance only to discover there are women and men who are totally impervious to it!

Not in the slightest challenging. I don’t care in the least what other women do with their faces. I do take issue with anyone of either sex trying to tell me what to do with mine. Or telling me my choice is “fake”.

I don't care if other women wear make up or not

Plenty of others on this thread insisting all women look better with make up.

Men can’t possibly find us attractive, women judge us for not making the effort to look better, and the overwhelming thought seems to be women in their natural state just isn’t good enough, and can always be improved.

@Stravaig

This thread is just an excuse to be derogatory about women who don't wear makeup and men who dare find them attractive. I suppose it's challenging to spend so much time and money over a lifetime in faking your appearance only to discover there are women and men who are totally impervious to it!

@Stravaig

Omg! Smug much?

Yes you are superior. You are clearly very naturally attractive and do no need makeup! And this frees you up to do less superficial things too, go you! And your partner is also quite clearly a different more superior breed too, as he finds a no make up face preferable to a made up face, or so he says!

Happy for you Hun

@Nomoreusernames1244

I don't care if other women wear make up or not

Plenty of others on this thread insisting all women look better with make up.

Men can’t possibly find us attractive, women judge us for not making the effort to look better, and the overwhelming thought seems to be women in their natural state just isn’t good enough, and can always be improved.

Ah I see.

@MurmuratingStarling and @pastypirate I can’t take credit for it either, it’s JK Rowling’s

“But having said that, when I encounter a woman in perfectly normal workaday circumstances who is heavily made-up and bright orange, it makes me think that she must have got out of bed an hour earlier to wallop it on, and I wonder about the priorities of anyone who would bother with that”

Urgh! You sound like the kind of insufferable person who thinks that a mother if she wears makeup for the school run or something hasn’t got her priorities right! She should be spending that time with her kidz….not on herself! So superficial! She could have been using that time to play with them! So shallow. Don’t you know your priorities change when you have kids?! You and what you look go straight to the back of the queue

I've never heard a man say this about women in general but ex-dh used to say this about me. I believe him. He clearly did know when I was wearing make up or not. I only wore/wear it for big life events.

I do think lots of women look better without make up. But it looks like they like that made-up look, so fair enough as it's their made up face.

@Stravaig

This thread is just an excuse to be derogatory about women who don't wear makeup and men who dare find them attractive. I suppose it's challenging to spend so much time and money over a lifetime in faking your appearance only to discover there are women and men who are totally impervious to it!

The derogatory comments are about women who wear make! up so far we have had Insecure Sad Fake Not to be trusted and are not the brightest Just a small selection of what has been said on here.

DS is colourblind, he sees foundation quite differently to normal skin tone depending on the colour pigment used

So I can imagine that some men do indeed prefer women without make up on in a non misogynistic way, DS however would be far too polite to say though but has discussed it privately with me

@Tomnooktoldmeto

DS is colourblind, he sees foundation quite differently to normal skin tone depending on the colour pigment used

So I can imagine that some men do indeed prefer women without make up on in a non misogynistic way, DS however would be far too polite to say though but has discussed it privately with me

That's really interesting I hadn't thought of that

@Stravaig

This thread is just an excuse to be derogatory about women who don't wear makeup and men who dare find them attractive. I suppose it's challenging to spend so much time and money over a lifetime in faking your appearance only to discover there are women and men who are totally impervious to it!

I don't know where you get that from. Almost without exception threads about women's looks bring out all the self proclaimed natural beauties/grow old gracefulies/better things to do with my higher mind-ers to pull down women who enhance their appearance. Women who wear make up wouldn't give a fig that you don't, or probably even notice you in the first place. Yet, far from being impervious to it, the anti make up people seem pay a great deal of attention to other women's faces, and have a lot more to say on the subject than the other way round.

You are clearly very naturally attractive and do no need makeup!

I am far from naturally attractive. I don’t need make up. I don’t need it because my face is my face and I don’t give a shit if people think it is attractive or not. I have liver spots and wrinkles, I’m pale and uninteresting with bags under my eyes and I couldn’t give a shit. It isn’t about how attractive a person looks, it is about how they choose to present themselves to the outside world. Some choose to paint a picture, I don’t. I don’t believe anyone puts make up on purely for themselves.

I don’t believe anyone puts make up on purely for themselves

Why don’t you believe that? Why is it so impossible for you to believe it? Personally I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks of me. I wear make up because my face looks better when I look in the mirror. I wear it when I don’t go anywhere and the only person who sees me is the one who woke up next to my bare face.

@BoredZelda I put on makeup and wear a mask over it even when on holiday in a country where we had to wear masks indoors and outdoors, only taking it off when I eat and drink (can't even take it off when waiting for food in a restaurant). It is really for me cos I enjoy putting it on.

Even if people did wear makeup for others' approval, why is that so much worse than not wearing it for others' approval, as many people on here clearly think they should?

YABU to think you know what all men are really thinking.
Yes, some men may say they prefer women with no makeup and not mean what they say. But undoubtedly there are men who say they prefer women with no makeup and actually mean it.

The fact they can’t point out a woman without makeup to prove it on the spot is a function of so many women being socially conditioned to think they have to wear makeup....so makeup free women are rare and not easily found. This doesn’t mean the man in question isn’t meaning what he says when he says he prefers no makeup.

I do know a few men who prefer no makeup and mean it. There is nothing wrong with having a preference regarding makeup or other appearance/grooming things like fake eyelashes or fake nails or spray tan etc.