When men say "I prefer women without make-up"...

[ThingThatIBring]

AIBU to think that when men say "I prefer women without make-up" that they don't usually know what they're talking about (and don't usually have a clue that women ARE wearing it)?

The reality of this statement is usually:

• I don't like it when women wear really obvious MAKE-UP make-up (loads of lippy and false eyelashes etc) or when it's badly applied (making it obvious);
• I like really good-looking fresh-faced young women whose complexions, etc., look smooth without it;
• I like to think of myself as very wholesome (and maybe a bit of a feminist).

What they DON'T mean (but don't realise they don't mean) is:

• I prefer the look of the average woman of my own age without any make-up on.

I know so many men who say this, and it always mildly irritates me as it's said like it's a kind of virtue.

As a post-mating-phase human, it's not like it really affects my life. But it always makes me feel for all the women who are still in a position where they're affected by this nonsense...

It doesn't really though does it. You just look the same, only you've smeared a thick layer of gunk all over your face.

Yeh that's exactly what women in make up look like isn't it. Spot on.

@MurmuratingStarling thank you for the word 'beardsplain'. Love it!!

@Marathoninjury

I saw this ages ago and this thread made me remember it - www.reddit.com/r/feemagers/comments/crgoom/while_there_are_exceptions_a_lot_of_guys_who_say/

It’s a woman in four photos - what men think heavy makeup is, what heavy makeup really is, what men think no makeup is, what no makeup actually is.

The no make up one isn't the same person. She has jowls.

@MollyQueenOfSocks

My ex would say this to me as a means of controlling my appearance. It escalated to the point he would scream in my face even if I just wore some light mascara. Apparently I was just trying to attract other guys to fuck.

Same with two other people I had started seeing who showed many other red flags, who I cut off dead before I got too deeply involved.

So for me, it screams of an insecure and controlling man. Rarely does it mean they actually prefer you without makeup.

I don’t know. To me it screams of insecure and possibly controlling woman. The idea that not looking how you are us “ better”. Controlling your image.and not being authentic. People can only control you if they sense a weak spot. Wearing make up either says I need to look better or I need you to look at me.

Stop sending signals to dicks. Don’t wear make up and maybe you’ll find a bloke that likes your face the way it is?

@RedskyThisNight

Sounds like you never wear makeup so you can’t really comment. Sounds like your husband hasn’t got anything to compare it to. And yeah I still maintain that if you wore it and applied it well, he would think you look better

You must be amazingly arrogant. You have no idea what I look like, but think I must look better with makeup. And you know nothing about my husband but you understand the way he thinks.

Basically what you are saying is that people with makeup on are your idea of beautiful. That's fine, but don't impose it on everyone else.

@RedskyThisNight

Yes I think you would look better with makeup. That’s nothing personal against you. How can it be when I don’t even know what you look like. Its because ALL women look better with makeup. It’s what it’s designed to do. Skilful application of it is an art form. It can subtly or dramatically enhance or conceal, whatever is needed.

@MollyQueenOfSocks

My ex would say this to me as a means of controlling my appearance. It escalated to the point he would scream in my face even if I just wore some light mascara. Apparently I was just trying to attract other guys to fuck.

Same with two other people I had started seeing who showed many other red flags, who I cut off dead before I got too deeply involved.

So for me, it screams of an insecure and controlling man. Rarely does it mean they actually prefer you without makeup.

Glad you said ex

The no make up one isn't the same person. She has jowls.

It is the same person. Look at the teeth.

This thread has reminded me of a social media post from an acquaintance commenting that his girlfriend always looks better without make-up.

I resisted the urge to tell him about her regular botox…

*Yeah this is pissing me off in this thread (from a few posters) too. If I want to slap on a fuck-ton of make up, to look a bit like some famous women I admire, I fucking well will. hmm The woke remarks about how we don't need make up coz we're subscribing to the 'beauty world bullshit,' are snoozeworthy and tedious.

I may wear make up one day. I may not wear make up the next day. It's up to me, and IDGAF what anyone thinks about it. I don't have to explain myself to anyone*

There’s a difference between wearing makeup because you enjoy creating different looks and not being able to leave the house without make up because of some internalised message that women look “better” if they’ve “put some effort in”.

One of dd’s friends wears lots of make up, but she turns up with everything from 60’s style eyeliner to 80’s goth and 90’s glitter. Always looks amazing, but she doesn’t do it to make herself “pretty” or better looking, but to have fun with her appearance.

Nope she's about 20 years older

Some men think wearing obvious makeup is signalling that you’re ‘available’. So although it’s part of what attracts them in the first place they also (subconsciously) don’t want their wife/girlfriend sending out those signals to other men. Hence the subtle negging that wearing makeup is undesirable.

The other men genuinely can’t tell & wont even notice whether you’re wearing makeup or not - DH, Im looking at you here!

@Boood

Agree with much of the above. I’ve also known some men to say this kind of thing when what they mean is “I feel threatened by attractive, well-dressed women”. Not always, but sometimes.

I think some men say it because they don't want their partner to look attractive to others.

@Shelby2010

Some men think wearing obvious makeup is signalling that you’re ‘available’. So although it’s part of what attracts them in the first place they also (subconsciously) don’t want their wife/girlfriend sending out those signals to other men. Hence the subtle negging that wearing makeup is undesirable.

Exactly this.

@MollyQueenOfSocks

My ex would say this to me as a means of controlling my appearance. It escalated to the point he would scream in my face even if I just wore some light mascara. Apparently I was just trying to attract other guys to fuck.

Same with two other people I had started seeing who showed many other red flags, who I cut off dead before I got too deeply involved.

So for me, it screams of an insecure and controlling man. Rarely does it mean they actually prefer you without makeup.

100% this.

Hitler also said this. Women had to be naturally beautiful...
(Yes, I know, Godwin's law...)
All the men who say they don't like makeup also don't like ugly women so...
Of course it's bollocks. Doesn't even need to be said.

Don't get me wrong, some men may actually prefer women without make up or may dislike kissing someone with lipstick but it can be a red flag.

“It doesn't really though does it. You just look the same, only you've smeared a thick layer of gunk all over your face.”

It really doesn’t get. Cop on!

@univmum

TBH men don't care about a lot of the grooming stuff women waste time and money on. The beauty industry stands to lose billions if we all cotton on to this.

They do care very much about appearance.

@drpet49

* I know plenty of women who look better without make up.*

^This. Most men I know prefer women with minimal make up

You're literally agreeing with the OP. They look better WITH minimal makeup.

"Some men think wearing obvious makeup is signalling that you’re ‘available’. So although it’s part of what attracts them in the first place they also (subconsciously) don’t want their wife/girlfriend sending out those signals to other men. Hence the subtle negging that wearing makeup is undesirable."

Yes, the Madonna/whore complex.
I don't think it's the only thing behind some people's pretence that they don't like makeup though.

"What they DON'T mean (but don't realise they don't mean) is:

• I prefer the look of the average woman of my own age without any make-up on."

In your opinion. Only in your opinion.

He said Reece Witherspoon, Halle berry and Sandra bullock always look great and don’t wear makeup.

😂

@LuckySantangelo35
Yes I think you would look better with makeup. That’s nothing personal against you. How can it be when I don’t even know what you look like. Its because ALL women look better with makeup. It’s what it’s designed to do. Skilful application of it is an art form. It can subtly or dramatically enhance or conceal, whatever is needed.

That's your opinion. Not a fact.
I think you would look better without makeup. That's nothing personal against you. How can it be when I don't even know what you look like. It's because ALL women look better without makeup. Makeup is designed to give a false impression of perfection by enhancing or concealing, whatever is needed. Women look better when they are natural and not false.

See what I did there? My opinion is as valid as yours.

My ex used to say to me “I hate makeup I love that you don’t wear it” as it happens I always wear makeup but on the odd day I didn’t he wouldn’t almost always say “are you ok, you don’t look great. Are you I’ll”