When men say "I prefer women without make-up"...

[ThingThatIBring]

AIBU to think that when men say "I prefer women without make-up" that they don't usually know what they're talking about (and don't usually have a clue that women ARE wearing it)?

The reality of this statement is usually:

• I don't like it when women wear really obvious MAKE-UP make-up (loads of lippy and false eyelashes etc) or when it's badly applied (making it obvious);
• I like really good-looking fresh-faced young women whose complexions, etc., look smooth without it;
• I like to think of myself as very wholesome (and maybe a bit of a feminist).

What they DON'T mean (but don't realise they don't mean) is:

• I prefer the look of the average woman of my own age without any make-up on.

I know so many men who say this, and it always mildly irritates me as it's said like it's a kind of virtue.

As a post-mating-phase human, it's not like it really affects my life. But it always makes me feel for all the women who are still in a position where they're affected by this nonsense...

@LittleBearPad not defensive of men I would call any man out for an inappropriate comment or for being sexist , but I also do the same for women , its not ok for a women to be sexist either

Thanks. This made me laugh so much! They haven't got a clue have they?

This thread is scary. Most women on here seem to always wear make up. Just for themselves.
What the heck made the general feeling in society be that women need make up to feel better about themselves?

@LittleBearPad do you not watch Tv

I don't think all men come from a place of being arseholes do they? My BF's last partner had a real issue with repeated cosmetic procedures to the point it put them into debt. It ended up being the reason for the split. He knows what he's looking at when I wear makeup and when I'm not. I think his experience has made him wiser and more sensible about the comments he makes. All my partners have been the same though.

@pastypirate they are equivalent your choosing to not see it as it doesn't suit your narrative

@mycatisannoying

I see it as a red flag when men talk like this.

It's a bit like that song by Billy Joel, 'I Love You Just The Way You Are'.

"I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard, mmm
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are"

But what if SHE wants 'clever conversation' or to change the colour of her hair? Why does he think that everything she does is to please him?

[quote worriedatthistime]@LittleBearPad not defensive of men I would call any man out for an inappropriate comment or for being sexist , but I also do the same for women , its not ok for a women to be sexist either [/quote]
No. This is a thread specially for discussing men who make specific comments about no make up. This isn't a thread for complaining about men at large.

They mean women who “don’t need makeup”

Just tell them beggars can’t be choosers.

@katepilar and even some on here saying women look better with it
I barely wear make up mostly because I can't be arsed and I don't feel the need to wear it every day , My mum wouldn't be seen without it
Each to their own

Never been told this my a random, but my dad, daughter and 2 lovers ACTUALLY believe I'm more beautiful without makeup.
They have loved my COVID, remote working, make up free glow.

My ex would say this to me as a means of controlling my appearance. It escalated to the point he would scream in my face even if I just wore some light mascara. Apparently I was just trying to attract other guys to fuck.

Same with two other people I had started seeing who showed many other red flags, who I cut off dead before I got too deeply involved.

So for me, it screams of an insecure and controlling man. Rarely does it mean they actually prefer you without makeup.

@Dweetfidilove 2 lovers , go you

Sounds like you never wear makeup so you can’t really comment. Sounds like your husband hasn’t got anything to compare it to. And yeah I still maintain that if you wore it and applied it well, he would think you look better

You must be amazingly arrogant. You have no idea what I look like, but think I must look better with makeup. And you know nothing about my husband but you understand the way he thinks.

Basically what you are saying is that people with makeup on are your idea of beautiful. That's fine, but don't impose it on everyone else.

@Dweetfidilove

Never been told this my a random, but my dad, daughter and 2 lovers ACTUALLY believe I'm more beautiful without makeup. They have loved my COVID, remote working, make up free glow.

I can quite safely say that no one has loved a "COVID glow" on me...

So for me, it screams of an insecure and controlling man.

Agree with this based on my experiences. Now I think about it the more confident partners I've had never uttered a word about make up

I think most men mean they like to see what they are getting. As one guy said to me "i would never buy a car that was under a cover"! not exactly charming but i got what he was saying.

[quote Porcupineintherough]@ChiefWiggumsBoy
There have been periods of history when wearing make up was down to class rather than sex, so yes it's relevant. Nothing innately feminine about make up, it's just fashion.[/quote]
I don’t know if you misread my post, but it’s not relevant to the cultural expectations of today, the time we’re all living in, of women wearing make up and men not.

@Comedycook I was quoting someone else who’d namechecked you, not your post don’t worry!

They don't actually mean it. What they mean is they prefer their wife without make up so no one else will fancy them.

Some of us aren't that insecure.

In any case, it doesn't work.

Quite surprised that lots of posters think men are too stupid to realise if a woman is wearing makeup/are being patronising or controlling if they aren't keen on makeup. DH told me many years ago he preferred me without make up, I've gone through phases of wearing loads and wearing none and he never bats an eyelid either way.

I've barely worn makeup the last 5 years (couldn't be arsed after having babies) and I genuinely think everyone looks better without now. I remember seeing a youngish manager at work about 6 years ago and being blown away that she never wore make up as if that somehow impacted her job or something natural skin is so lovely, even with all of its blemishes.

... it's possibly when they find their pillow case looks like the Turin Shroud in the morning?

They're either saying it for effect or they mean they like a "natural look". They don't actually know whether or not someone is wearing make up.

'Makeup is literally designed to make a face anyone’s face look better by enhancing the features, concealing flaws, etc.'

It doesn't really though does it. You just look the same, only you've smeared a thick layer of gunk all over your face.

@GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin

As for makeup generally, I couldn’t give one shiny shit what a man thinks about what make up I do or don’t wear - sure, he can have a preference but he’d better keep that to himself because if I want to go without makeup, I will. And if I want to go the full on pin-up eyeliner/red lipstick/heavy makeup I’ll fucking well do that too. The idea that we dress for men and not for ourselves dies oh so fucking hard.

And spare me the painfully woke types who are going to beardsplain why they are liberating me from myself and the tyranny of the beauty industry...

Yeah this is pissing me off in this thread (from a few posters) too. If I want to slap on a fuck-ton of make up, to look a bit like some famous women I admire, I fucking well will. The woke remarks about how we don't need make up coz we're subscribing to the 'beauty world bullshit,' are snoozeworthy and tedious.

I may wear make up one day. I may not wear make up the next day. It's up to me, and IDGAF what anyone thinks about it. I don't have to explain myself to anyone.