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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My child has been ill for a year and no one will help

164 replies

SickySickSick · 03/04/2022 20:18

Name change because I’ve talked this through with friends/family

I have a three year old. For the last year, she has been ill with multiple chest infections, conjunctivitis, tonsillitis, ear infections and now a skin infection. She’s had antibiotics 10 times over the last 12 months, sometimes several courses to clear the issue. In between the infections, she regularly gets viral tonsillitis and viruses meaning she coughs until she throws up every few weeks. We’ve not had more than two weeks without her being ill since last summer. I’ve started taking her to see a doctor even when it is viral (only difference I can tell is no temperature) because I want it logged by them that she’s ill. Again. The problem is that we see a different doctor every time, and even though I say she’s been ill a lot recently, they seem to just nod and ignore it.

So am I overreacting? Is this just normal three year old at nursery sickness, or should I start trying to push for more investigations into why she is getting so many infections so frequently?

YABU- it’s normal, calm down and leave the doctors alone
YANBU- listen to your instincts and push the doctor for more help

OP posts:
Zerrin13 · 03/04/2022 20:22

I would be pushing for blood tests to rule out any underlying conditions.

Hell0G00dbye · 03/04/2022 20:22

OP that must be so difficult. It could just be a bad spell of normal toddler bugs (being ill with one thing can make you more susceptible to another, a cold can develop into ear infection, chest infection etc). If you’re really worried book an appointment with the GP and perhaps ask for for a blood screen to check that everything is ok. It’s horrible worrying there’s an underlying cause so I would take positive action and check. Im sure it’s fine but a good friends child had ongoing health issues and was diagnosed with childhood leukaemia (now absolutely fine!!) but she had to push for testing. It’s v unlikely to be that but im a big believer in mothers intuition.

OfstedOffred · 03/04/2022 20:23

It sounds like a bit more than normal.

How is she otherwise - is her weight and growth ok? Does she sleep well? Development ok?

Lots of "lockdown kids" missed a lot of bugs in 2020 & 2021, and are getting more now. Conjunctivitis is usually mild, some kids do get that a lot.

That said - 10 lots of antibiotics in a year is a lot. I'd want to see an ENT in your shoes. If its lots of tonsil & ear infections it could be she needs tonsils/adenoids out.

Libertybear80 · 03/04/2022 20:24

My daughter is now 16. I wish when she had multiple antibiotics prescribed I had pushed for them to consider anxiety. It turned into panic disorder when she was 15.

DigitalGhost · 03/04/2022 20:24

Doesn't sound too dissimilar to my DD (2). Always assumed it was due to lockdowns and not being exposed to anything for so long.

alexdgr8 · 03/04/2022 20:25

can you ask for a blood test for her immune system function.

tiredanddangerous · 03/04/2022 20:25

Yanbu. My dc are teenagers and have only ever had antibiotics 3 or 4 times each in their lives. Keep pushing op Flowers

BambinaJAS · 03/04/2022 20:25

10 times in 12 months is way, way beyond normal.

I would think there was an underlying condition driving this. Definitely agree with previous poster about pushing for extra testing.

Morechocmorechoc · 03/04/2022 20:26

I agree with ENT, it sounds very much like she may need something taken out. Does she get a lot of ear issues and a lot of tonsillitis or is it more chest infections. Did she have any issues as a young baby....catch any breathing viruses?

AFingerofFudge · 03/04/2022 20:26

Has she had her tonsils out?
I ask this because DS2, who is now a healthy 19 year old, was exactly the same at that age. One doctor he saw was convinced that his tonsils were not doing their proper job of stopping germs entering the through the nose and mouth and became a brewing ground for infections. So despite not all of his illnesses being tonsillitis, we consented to him having his tonsils out aged 4. From then he was much much better.

ItsSnowJokes · 03/04/2022 20:27

Has she only just started nursery? The first year of nursery or childcare is the worst. They get literally every single bug going and then it does get better.

If she has been in nursery for a long time then I would push for further tests.

TinLeaf · 03/04/2022 20:28

Did it all start around the time she started at nursery?

BoodleBug51 · 03/04/2022 20:28

Is taking her out of nursery for a bit an option? My youngest DD worked in a day nursery for a year aged 17 and she was ill nearly the whole time. In the end, she went onto an admin apprenticeship instead because she ended up so run down with it all.

Part of the issue was parents unable/unwilling to take time off for poorly kids, so they got sent in regardless. There is always going to be at least one poorly child in the room your child is in.

A chat with your GP won't hurt though, to rule out any underlying conditions. And a multi vitamin supplement especially if they're a picky eater.

Aintnosupermum · 03/04/2022 20:29

In North America they refer to an ENT after the 3rd round of ear and throat infections. We went from an infection every 2 weeks to nothing by getting tubes and adenoids removed. Since getting tubes at 18 months old I think there has been 2 rounds of antibiotics. DC is 11 in July.

Get the referral or go private for an evaluation.

elliejjtiny · 03/04/2022 20:29

It's hard to tell. Several of my dc have had problems like this that were normal and eventually went away on their own. However they did have tests to rule serious conditions out and you wouldn't be unreasonable to ask for this. Some kids are prone to certain infections and some kids just catch everything. Also at this age they do tend to share illness around.

ittakes2 · 03/04/2022 20:30

I think you need to please give her some friendly bacteria for her tummy. That much antibiotics would have wiped her own friendly bacteria out and therefore some of her own immune system.

BambinaJAS · 03/04/2022 20:32

@ItsSnowJokes

Has she only just started nursery? The first year of nursery or childcare is the worst. They get literally every single bug going and then it does get better.

If she has been in nursery for a long time then I would push for further tests.

Agreed.

DD2 has been sick 5 times in 3 months so far.

But that should not require antibiotics. That points to something more serious than an immune system being exposed to a normal pathogen as a child.

EmeraldShamrock1 · 03/04/2022 20:32

It's so draining, DS is similar, he misses a lot of school he is struggling to breath.

Antibiotics is the only relief.

I have known a few children who suffer like your DD who have had tonsils removal and they've improved by miles.

Keep pushing for the operation.

yummyeclair · 03/04/2022 20:33

I agree with previous posters, push for further tests. Log everything with a GP appointment. If possible go private initially to get to the bottom of it.

Rory1234 · 03/04/2022 20:34

My eldest was like this from age 3-5. It was an absolute nightmare. He had a variety of blood tests and other checks and nothing ever came up.

It stopped suddenly and now he’s rarely ill and hasn’t had antibiotics for years.

You should definitely 100% make sure it’s thoroughly checked out but just wanted to offer a similar situation with a happy ending.

Continentalmama · 03/04/2022 20:35

Mine had something like 8 antibiotics (not including the ones which were back to back as the first course didn't clear) in the first 10 months of nursery. They were nearly all for ear infections and she suffered febrile seizures so we were at the dr/hospital a lot. We got an ENT referral who agreed instantly for grommets and also to look at her adenoids as she snored at night and she has massive tonsils. The grommets went in and he took out her adenoids at the same time which he said were absolutely huge. Left tonsils as she was only 18 months and she doesn't suffer from loads of tonsillitis. Haven't had a single ear infection or course of antibiotics or febrile seizure in the following 2.5 years. (Have had a couple of winter viral chest infections but that's to be expected)

However we are not in the Uk and they have a very strict criteria in the UK which DC likely wouldn't have met but honestly I could not be more thankful we got it done as it really really changed things for her and us all.

Eve · 03/04/2022 20:36

DS when young had loads of illnesses - turned out to be a dust mite allergy which meant he was constantly run down fighting the allergy and left him really susceptible to other illnesses.

Since a daily antihistamine he hasn’t had a chest infection.

Continentalmama · 03/04/2022 20:37

Oh and yes to pro biotic for her tummy if you're not already doing.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 03/04/2022 20:38

My sister was exactly the same. She's 20 years younger than me. I'll non stop. She finally stopped being continually ill when she had her tonsils out. However now she's an adult and although she is slim, fit and well she's had pneumonia three or 4 times. Not sure what's going on.

Nutellaonall · 03/04/2022 20:39

It’s hard to tell. Sounds a bit like my eldest when he was that age. He is atopic, so asthma, eczema, food allergies, hay fever. Every virus landed him in hospital with vital wheeze. He was under a few consultants for chest, eczema , allergist etc. is your child atopic? Does it run in the family?