My child has been ill for a year and no one will help

[SickySickSick]

Name change because I’ve talked this through with friends/family

I have a three year old. For the last year, she has been ill with multiple chest infections, conjunctivitis, tonsillitis, ear infections and now a skin infection. She’s had antibiotics 10 times over the last 12 months, sometimes several courses to clear the issue. In between the infections, she regularly gets viral tonsillitis and viruses meaning she coughs until she throws up every few weeks. We’ve not had more than two weeks without her being ill since last summer. I’ve started taking her to see a doctor even when it is viral (only difference I can tell is no temperature) because I want it logged by them that she’s ill. Again. The problem is that we see a different doctor every time, and even though I say she’s been ill a lot recently, they seem to just nod and ignore it.

So am I overreacting? Is this just normal three year old at nursery sickness, or should I start trying to push for more investigations into why she is getting so many infections so frequently?

YABU- it’s normal, calm down and leave the doctors alone
YANBU- listen to your instincts and push the doctor for more help

I would write out a clear diary and when you go to the doctor, prepare your script so they’ll take you seriously. Something like:

They’re ill again, for the x time. I’ve made a note of all of their illness as follows. (Then set them out).

State that you think this is more than standard
childhood illness and you’d like further investigation.

Sometimes with doctors, especially if they think you’re just a neurotic mother, you’ve got to push.

My friend’s son has a rare immune condition. It was diagnosed early (which has almost certainly saved his life) because my friend is a doctor and knew something was wrong and pushed for a diagnosis. I’m guessing she was taken seriously or at least knew what buttons to push because she is a doctor.

I thought tonsils/adenoids straight away. Member of my family was a different child once they were removed at 4. Prior to this they spent every weekend with near constant coughs, colds, & ear infections.
My own baby has had to have a lot of IV antibiotics in recent months, so we've been adding probiotic & multivitamin drops to drinks because they do have a negative effect on their tummy/overall resilience to coughs &colds.

I would insist that this is investigated further as she could have a low immune system and get all her bloods done. Some very good advise on here. Must be very stressful and worrying for you all.

I was quite an I'll child. It's not an exaggeration to say every two weeks I would either have tonsillitis or conjunctivitis. I had a few ear infections and very persistent eczema and asthma. It was really rough. I can still taste the 'banana medicine ' aka Amoxicillin. I grew out of it eventually but there was talk of removing my tonsils although I know that they are moving away from those surgeries if they can. You have my sympathies.

The antibiotics won’t be doing her any good if she’s been pretty much on them 24/7 for 12 months! Has she had a full blood test? Is she well socialised with other dc? It could be that she’s only just started playing with other dc and catching everything?

I worry about this too but like other posters have said, I think they're super unlucky given they're at nursery during a pandemic. My DD just turned 3, started nursery July last year and has probably had around 5 weeks of full health in that time to now, she had norovirus last week. A doctor told me around 7-8 virals per winter is normal for a 2-3 year old if they're in childcare. My eldest DD was similar 5 years ago and nothing touches her now, if she becomes poorly she bounces back fast, but she was exposed.

I would always say follow your instinct though and push for answers if it doesn't feel ok to you

Fab advice iggly.
The script/list of times and dates of illnesses and antib will really focus the appointment and hopefully avoid you being fobbed off. Good luck and hope your little one feels properly well all the time soon

Dgs 2yr 9mth has been ill almost without a break since he started pre school in September. I think because of lockdown he was proyecyed from exposure to the usual bugs and viruses in the first two years so he's picking them up in a more concentrated way than he might have done in more normal times.

My LB was permanently ill at that age, we couldn't go more then 2 weeks but didn't require that much antibiotics

My youngest was like this, endless ear and chest infections and tonsillitis, he vomited with them all, lost so much weight he looked gaunt with dark circles under his eyes, he had lots of hospital stays for fluids and antibiotics (he has Down Syndrome so prone to ENT issues anyway)
Firstly he was diagnosed with asthma, he went through 10 bouts of tonsillitis in 16 months before they agreed to take his tonsils out, they also removed adenoids and put grommets in his ears, once he recovered he was a different child. He still has some issues but that’s expected.
I look back at photos of him and kick myself for not making demands about quicker treatment, he looked so gaunt and unwell.
Persist with the GP each and every time they are unwell, keep a daily health diary to show any consultants you may see.

Keep pushing- what has anyone got to lose by your lo having blood tests?

Thanks everyone, I’ll start preparing myself for a fight with the doctor tomorrow!

Just to answer a few questions- there’s no history of asthma in the family, and I’ve tried giving her antihistamine in case it’s hay fever running her down to catch everything

She was in nursery before covid hit, took some time off but went back as soon as she was able. She also has an older sibling so she’s had lots of interaction to catch everything. It just seems more than the usual nursery stuff?

Yes she’s had issues from birth and was hospitalised several times with bronchiolitis as a baby. It’s mostly tonsils, at one point the doctor thought she had an abscess on them. The ear infections and chest infections are slightly less common. The conjunctivitis has only been a couple of times and the skin only once

Have you tried giving a probiotic? They can have actimel and stuff from 3 years old, I believe. Also consider vitamins if she's not already having them.

If its mostly tonsils consider taking them out. I was on 8 antibiotics in 18 months at that age, tonsilitis every time. My mother had a huge battle to get someone to take them out as they said I was too young at 4. When I turned 5, she found a consultant who was willing to take them out and she said I improved after that.

I had this - was so hard. We had a referral to a consultant as my daughter was constantly sick and didn't eat. He told me that I should let her eat anything she wanted (cheesy crisps, chocolates) all the things I would never have given her. She was on the failure to thrive chart, had several blue fits and constant diarrhoea. I gave her every vaccination going. She had a referral to GOS for growth at 10. No worries now and she is a national athlete.

OP, is it your first?

Have they tested her for coeliac?

Do you think there are factors that makes your child vulnerable? If so, maybe you should pursue.

I have a child who spent all his early birthdays in hospital, as well as Christmas.
He has chronic illness, as well as multiple allergies, but I really thought he was just unlucky to have weak immune system.

It went better as he aged, by ks2, hospital admission due to simple infection has decreased, I believe because he gained immunity, as well as us doing best we could to boost his immunity.

She sounds like she needs the tonsils out. If you can afford to see someone privately you will get it sorted much quicker and with better methods.

@AFingerofFudge

Has she had her tonsils out? I ask this because DS2, who is now a healthy 19 year old, was exactly the same at that age. One doctor he saw was convinced that his tonsils were not doing their proper job of stopping germs entering the through the nose and mouth and became a brewing ground for infections. So despite not all of his illnesses being tonsillitis, we consented to him having his tonsils out aged 4. From then he was much much better.

I was very similar, had all sorts wrong but it all linked back to the pesky tonsils. Once whipped out I was fine.

I agree with having her tonsils removed. Its worrying that so many antibiotics can be issued in one year without any flags being raised at the GP surgery.

My child kept on getting a specific viral illness, I would literally ring up and log it each time it happened. Then when it reached a silly number I booked an appointment with a gp. The end result was the was shocked they contacted hospital paediatric specialist and my child was prescribed anti viral medication which was a game changer. He went from having that illness every month to maybe once in 6 months. So definitely get the illness logged but make sure to follow up with an appointment with a gp so you can discuss a plan.

10 lots of antibiotics in a year is NOT normal.

Yes, they get a lot of bugs when they first start nursery, but these are by and large viral and they fight them off without getting an opportunistic bacteria infection following it.

To give you some context, my DD was ill pretty much constantly for her first year or 18 months of nursery and was investigated for possible leukaemia at 2.5, as she constantly ran a low grade fever and complained of back and leg pain.

Despite all this, she has never had antibiotics and is now almost 7.

We never did get to the bottom of the constant low grade fever, but she gradually grew out of being ill so much.

Your DC needs to be investigated for possible immune issues and an ENT assessment, at the very least. Take the list of illnesses as pp suggested and don’t let the GP end the consultation until you have the referral in your hand. Good luck.