My child has been ill for a year and no one will help

[SickySickSick]

Name change because I’ve talked this through with friends/family

I have a three year old. For the last year, she has been ill with multiple chest infections, conjunctivitis, tonsillitis, ear infections and now a skin infection. She’s had antibiotics 10 times over the last 12 months, sometimes several courses to clear the issue. In between the infections, she regularly gets viral tonsillitis and viruses meaning she coughs until she throws up every few weeks. We’ve not had more than two weeks without her being ill since last summer. I’ve started taking her to see a doctor even when it is viral (only difference I can tell is no temperature) because I want it logged by them that she’s ill. Again. The problem is that we see a different doctor every time, and even though I say she’s been ill a lot recently, they seem to just nod and ignore it.

So am I overreacting? Is this just normal three year old at nursery sickness, or should I start trying to push for more investigations into why she is getting so many infections so frequently?

YABU- it’s normal, calm down and leave the doctors alone
YANBU- listen to your instincts and push the doctor for more help

There was a lot to be said about having a family doctor who stuck around. It's depressing how things have changed.

I wish I could help, op, I wish you the best of luck.

My 18 month old has been the same since starting nursery. He’s had tonsillitis (and usually ear infection too) every month, back to back cold bugs, tummy bugs - nursery also felt he was getting more illnesses than normal. He is now under ENT, wheeze clinic and soon to be under allergy clinic. All are telling me the same thing, and I’ve heard it from A&E admissions, children’s ward, and our GP practice, that due to lockdown and lack of exposure to normal childhood illnesses, winter bugs etc they are seeing children getting exposed all at once, and sometimes to 2 or 3 things at once (we managed to get 5 in one go recently, which resulted in a hospital admission for oxygen). It took the first hospital admission for his recurrent tonsillitis to be taken seriously, and the second for his wheeze to be looked into, and a third for his allergies to be investigated but finally we are seeing a bit of light at the end of the tunnel and more, longer periods of being well.

Thanks everyone, I’ll push for an ENT referral and google adenoids!

I think we’ve been given so many antibiotics because we’ve seen so many different doctors! Some have even prescribed them without seeing her, I describe her symptoms over the phone and they write one out. I even had a doctor write one out recently because it was a Friday and she said I could put the prescription in over the weekend ‘if I needed it’ luckily she got better so I didn’t need it!

For those suggesting it, her bed is permanently lifted with books so she can’t slouch down. We have the calpol plug in and I bathe her with olbus oil in her bath at bedtime. She has vicks on her chest, back and feet. This is just at the moment because she has the cough again and has already thrown up twice.

@watingroom2 we actually spend tons of time outside because we live rurally and have lots of animals to deal with so I’d be shocked if she was

@Libertybear80 do you have any theories around this? My DD19 was like the OP’s DD from birth till nearly 15 by which time we’d been referred to GOSH. Then within weeks she developed an anxiety type MH issue and her life has never been the same since. But she never had so much as cold since then. How can that be possible? I’m thinking about things like PANDAs etc

In the meantime OP insist on an ENT or immunology referral.

Id be pushing for ENT referral. For the lack of continuity with doctors there's a couple of options; one is to work back through the year, write down all the dates, what the GP said it was, how many courses antibiotics and so on. Write it down because a factual list will get the point across better, takes the emotion out of it.

The other option and preferably do both, is to choose a regular GP and everytime you have to see someone else get them to write a quick summary you can take to your regular GP so it's all recorded in one place.

Is it possible your DD could be allergic to some or all of the animals you work with?

Include tests for Coeliac disease

10 antibiotics in the space of 12 months is a ridiculous amount, one of the reasons she could be getting recurrent infections is because of this reason. Antibiotics should be used sparingly, overuse causes resistance.

I would definitely go with your gut and try to get more testing! Full blood test!

My ds was like this. Sick constantly from birth. It was all colds and ear infections and chest infections and vomiting and symptoms that were diagnosable and treatable. Like you, we saw different doctors each time and no one seemed to notice the frequency of the illnesses or point out that it was unusual for a child to be sick that frequently. Ds was my first and I was in the UK away from friends and family (I am from usa) so had no one telling me this was not normal. It wasn't until i had my dd 2 years later that I realized that this wasn't normal and tried to tell every doctor I saw, but was just dismissed as a hysterical, over sensitive mom (munchausen's by proxy accusations were really popular in those days) and still no one helped. My ds was finally diagnosed with mitochondrial disease when he was almost 11 years old. Me and google figured it out and then I pushed to have genetic testing and a referral to the top pediatric geneticist who specialize in mitochondrial disease and who luckily happened to be local to me. He confirmed it with genetic testing (we got onto a clinical trial) and offered some very helpful treatments (not a cure, but definitely helped reduce the symptoms). I am still angry that no one took me or my ds' illnesses seriously. I'm so sorry to hear that 21 years later, another mother is still suffering this neglect. I highly recommend becoming a medical googling expert. And print out every scientific paper you can, so you can back things up when you go to the doctor. Good luck. Trust your instincts.

Different children are different.

I remember dd1 asking me why she'd never been to A&E. There was a fairly obvious reason there.
She wasn't ill ever until she was about 15 months, had a spate of various infections over the next 3-4 months then wasn't ill again until age 8 when she had pneumonia seriously. She's now an adult and is still rarely ill. She missed less than 10 days of school from preschool to finishing-and that included chickenpox and pneumonia.

Dd2 had more illnesses than that, which often included a temperature of over 40, and occasionally 41, so dramatic! (she still is!) But never more than 2-3 in a 6 month period. her first illness was at 6 months when she caught chickenpox off dd1. But she hasn't really been ill since about 6yo except migraines and stomach aches, the latter at any rate, being down to anxiety.

Then I had ds.
His first illness (ear infection) was at 10 weeks. He had the next ear infection at 12 weeks. The next was a bit longer... 15 weeks.... you get the picture. If he didn't get antibiotics in within the first day then his ear drum burst. This continued until he had grommets at 20 months, then restarted when the grommets fell out a year later.
Between ear infections he managed viral rashes of all sorts. Mostly non-fading under glass, so those were A&E trips for bloods.
After his third lots of grommets he started tonsillitis instead. The entertainment with this was he would be so weak he couldn't even raise his head at times. More antibiotics needed.
Then he got a post-viral thing which meant he missed most of a term school and was tested for all sorts. Rapidly. You know what they're thinking when they say "he needs an urgent blood test, it'll be within 10 days" and you get it for the next day. Good thing he thinks blood tests are fun, because he's had an awful lot of them.
It wasn't anything bad. The conclusion was simply that he does tend to catch bugs and then because he's been ill, his immune system is a bit low so he's more likely to get something again.
He's been tested for everything and a bit more (he'll proudly tell you he has a perfect brain according to the MRI person) so there really isn't anything other than he tends to be ill.
Even now he's mid teens and his school attendance last term was only just over 80% all legitimate too ill to go in-and none of them covid either. In fact he's most put out that he didn't manage any covid isolation at all, because when he was a close contact it was after isolation.
In fact almost all his close friends had covid and he didn't, which I can only put down to him having had two vaccinations when they'd had maximum one (he was put to have them early because he managed appendicitis during lockdown so he was considered to be cv) .

So what I'm trying to say is, yes it is worth asking the GP to look into the lots of illnesses, but it is perfectly possibly to be just one of those things.

Are you giving her vitamins? It sounds like she’s a bit run down.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/weaning-and-feeding/vitamins-for-children/

You could also get rid of anything dusty around where she sleeps (steam clean if you can) and add more hand washing

I concur with many pp’s. I was similarly ill all the time as a toddler - the waiting list for removal of tonsils and adenoids under the NHS was nine months, so my parents paid for surgery privately (and they were by no means well off) in order to protect my health, as I had lost a lot of weight. I thrived afterwards.
By the way, this was almost 70 years ago!!

DS was similar. Bronchiolitis at 4 months then months of wheezing, then ear in fiction after ear infection. 11 between 7 months and 15 months with almost constant AB's. Zippy available on the NHS - we paid for ENT referral and grommets worked like a small miracle. Taking him out of nursery helped too - I gave up work. His asthma continued until he was about 7 but very well controlled. At about 18 months he developed eczema. At the suggestion of our GP he was referred to the Royal Homeopathic Hospital in Great Ormond Street (privately). I was sceptical. He was prescribed Mercury's, dulcis and kali mur and pulsatilla. The eczema was gone in a week. May have been a co-incidence but it may not have been Caveat - I would not have gone to a local homeopath.

His sister also got bronchiolitis at 7 months and had successive ear infections and was grommeted at 20 months. She didn't go to a day nursery so I stopped beating myself up.

Sadly no ENT support was available on the NHS 20 odd years ago.

They are 27 and 23 now op. They grew up fine.

My middle child is literally CONSTANTLY ill. Longest this year he’s gone is 10 days totally healthy. Even now he’s “well”, but still has a snotty nose and night time cough. It’s just not bothering him hugely, he’s still got a virus of some description. He’s been to a and e twice, once for bronchiolitis causing recessive breathing, once for a meningitis scare due to a high temp and rash that didn’t disappear under a glass. He’s had chicken pox, a stomach bug, countless coughs and bronchiolitis twice and this is just since January. I rang the GP in December last year as he basically had 3 weeks off nursery cos he kept getting poorly, even when he wasn’t going, they essentially said “he’s a lockdown baby, is what it is”. I have no idea if it’s normal, but it’s absolutely draining and exhausting for him and for me, especially since we have a 13 week old who also picks up all these bugs because 13 week olds have crap, underdeveloped immune systems. Sympathies.

One cure would be living in the countryside and not seeing people and being outside a lot with lots of vit D in summer. Most of what you describe are things she catches from other people.

Exactly the same with my DS

Push for an ENT appointment or if funds allow pay for a private appointment so you know what the score is. You can always seek treatment via the NHS.

Tonsils and adenoids out and my DS is a different child. We have not had any antibiotics since the operation but was averaging a course once every two months before.

DS2 was like this until he had his tonsils out aged 3. He was small, pale, listless, always ill, vomiting, on antibiotics. Tonsils and adenoids out and he was like a different child. When he was 3 he scraped the 50th centile now at 14 he’s around the 91st. He is fit, sporty and rarely ill.

@Xenia

One cure would be living in the countryside and not seeing people and being outside a lot with lots of vit D in summer. Most of what you describe are things she catches from other people.

What's this nonsense? My DS lives in the countryside and was ill just as described. Eventually managed to get an ENT referral and he got grommets and adenoidectomy and was like a different child.

You need to push for blood tests

Reflux?
Does she actually need the AB for ear infection? High temps?
We cut out soy and gave piriton and no more infections

Even if you see different doctors, they should be able to see from her records the frequency of events.

It’s not normal. Definitely get an ent referral. It’s possibly permanently infected tonsils. Nhs guidelines mean doctors are very reluctant to remove them but sometimes it’s the only solution.

Good luck.

We went through a similar phase at a similar age. It was probably the only time in her life she was ill with anything, TBH.

There is a load of really alarmist and inaccurate advice on this thread. The average child has 10-12 upper respiratory tract infections (colds/sore throats/coughs) during the first year they are in a group setting - daycare, Reception etc. So, in terms of the number of infections, this all sounds totally normal.

Despite what PPs are telling you, it is extremely unlikely that anyone will take out her tonsils at this stage though, if she carries on having frequent infections, that would be a possibility. However, the chances are that things will settle over the summer and, by the time school starts in again in September, she will have developed immunity (through exposure) to many of the common bugs in your area. Hopefully next winter will be a lot less crap for you all

@sickysicksick

How much skin is exposed to the sun? And where in the UK are you- the further north the less quality sun you get - the best 'sun' is at lunchtime - and if you are wearing a coat/long sleeves you don't get much as so much of you is covered..

I only suggest Vit D because so much research has been done into - how it impacts on your body (its not really a vitamin it is a hormone and without it you can be seriously ill.. and get ill really quickly)

There was a GP in Scotland who found when supplementing with Vit D lots of her patients stopped coming in for the seasonal flu type things..

I would be asking for blood tests for your LO - (much as they are not nice) and be doing research into Vitamin D and the B vitamins!