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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Bf refusing to call me because of blue fucking ticks?

119 replies

BlueFkingTicks · 02/04/2022 22:37

My Bf is working abroad. There is a time difference, and we're both busy which makes finding a time to chat difficult.

Today, he messaged telling me the times he would be free. I messaged throughout the day, and at his first free time - I asked if he was free to chat. He wasn't - which was fine, and I told him I'd try again later.

I tried again during his second free slot - again he was busy, but that was fine.

I tried again later on - telling him I was out with friends, but I was happy to step out and give him a call if he was free. He said not to worry about it as we would chat later.

I got home - messaged to tell him I was home and free to chat. He replied 'Ok - Gimme 5'.

I was busy around the house - saw his Gimme 5 message and thought that's fine, he'll call when he's free.

20 minutes later he messaged saying 'I'm guessing you're busy, let's leave it for tonight'. I replied 'Eh? I'm free I told you I was"!

He refused my calls, and eventually when he accepted my call, he told me that because I hadn't opened his message and blue ticked it, or responded to it - he assumed I didn't want to talk to him.

I think that's bonkers, and I'm afraid I got a bit upset and told him so.

AIBU to assume that a message saying 'Gimme 5' doesn't need a response, and failing to respond to it doesn't warrant someone deciding not to bother calling and that I'm not interested in talking?

OP posts:

AuntMargo · 03/04/2022 09:56

Are you sure he's you're boyfriend, sounds like he doesn't consider you his Girlfriend and clearly isn't bothered about talking to you.

MakingShiteMemories · 03/04/2022 10:00

@AppleKatie

Yanbu and I’m exhausted just thinking about that nonsense.

Yes, this.

TheOccupier · 03/04/2022 10:14

He should have rung either way but why not mark the message as read given that you had actually seen it?

Frazzled2207 · 03/04/2022 10:15

@pastypirate

Turn the ticks off. But bin him first

This

WonderfulYou · 03/04/2022 10:29

AIBU to assume that a message saying 'Gimme 5' doesn't need a response,

I would have responded with an ‘ok’.

However if he wasn’t sure you’d be free in 5 minutes then he could have sent a ‘?’ Or ‘are you free now?’ Or even just tried ringing and see if you’re free to answer.

This is way too much drama.
You should both be excited to speak to each other but it sounds like it’s more of a chore.

What’s he normally like?
I couldn’t put up with the drama personality.

PebbleMillAtOne · 03/04/2022 10:34

Sounds like bloody hard work.

C0rBlimey · 03/04/2022 10:35

He has you on the end of a string, jumping to his call schedule. I agree with the other posters, my immediate reaction is he's not that interested in speaking to you. Stop giving him all the power!

NurseBernard · 03/04/2022 19:05

@BlueFkingTicks you haven’t been back to the thread since you started it.

I hope people’s responses helped you.

Have you spoken to your boyfriend since?

Original poster

BlueFkingTicks · 03/04/2022 22:31

Thanks everyone - yeah he was being over dramatic, made an assumption and I flipped. We've talked.

OP posts:

CambsAlways · 03/04/2022 22:36

Doesn’t sound to me as if he wants to talk, he’s giving you the runaround very immature I’d get rid

Kleptronic · 03/04/2022 22:40

Oh so it's all back on then yeah

TracyMosby · 04/04/2022 07:34

@BlueFkingTicks

Thanks everyone - yeah he was being over dramatic, made an assumption and I flipped. We've talked.

Well hopefully the talk led to you saying you're not interested now he has shown his true colours.

Aprilx · 04/04/2022 07:48

@BlueFkingTicks

Thanks everyone - yeah he was being over dramatic, made an assumption and I flipped. We've talked.

You flipped? I didn’t see anything to make me think that. Is this what he told you in the chat you had, that you flipping was the issue. Hmm.

Cluelessmouse · 04/04/2022 08:26

@BlueFkingTicks

Thanks everyone - yeah he was being over dramatic, made an assumption and I flipped. We've talked.

But why. You barely know the guy and he’s already red flag central. He already changed his status to something incredibly cringe because of an incredibly minor understanding. I don’t know you, but I know for certain that you can do better.

Indicatrice · 04/04/2022 08:43

@BlueFkingTicks

Thanks everyone - yeah he was being over dramatic, made an assumption and I flipped. We've talked.

Ah, well. Don’t say we didn’t warn you in a year’s time when you realise he’s a twat.

FloralsForSpring · 04/04/2022 08:48

You flipped? Did you? Or did you just react appropriately to his mini drama

FloralsForSpring · 04/04/2022 08:49

@BlueFkingTicks

Thanks everyone - yeah he was being over dramatic, made an assumption and I flipped. We've talked.

You've talked and ended it right?

Thumpkin · 04/04/2022 09:20

He sounds hard work. He also sounds like he’s making convenient excuses not to speak or else why would he reject your calls?

“20 minutes later he messaged saying 'I'm guessing you're busy, let's leave it for tonight'.” - guessing doesn’t mean you actually are, so why is he using this as a concrete reason?

“I replied 'Eh? I'm free I told you I was"!” Again, it’s crystal clear that you are free, so why is he using this as a reason?

“He refused my calls” - either he’s having a very unattractive sulk or, yet again, he’s using excuses to avoid talking.

“eventually when he accepted my call, he told me that because I hadn't opened his message and blue ticked it, or responded to it - he assumed I didn't want to talk to him.” More of his assumptions. All of them wrong. The problem here is entirely with him. Either he doesn’t want to talk to you and lies about why, or he’s a sulker, or he wants immediate responses when he gets in touch. None of those things are a problem created by you.

MaryAndHerNet · 04/04/2022 21:36

Some people's bars are lower than a woodlouse knacker sack.

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