To have cried in asda

[Littlemissdan]

Is it just me that the whole cost of living thing is getting too much for? I actually had a (very small and no one watching!) cry in asda when I saw some reduced bakery goods because I didn’t know if I could afford them alongside my entire smartprice shop. £30 I had for a 2 week shop including nappies, and it just broke me that I actually had to wonder if I could afford a 55p treat for my kids. I can’t believe we’re living like this, 3 years ago we were comfortable and now I’m relying on the free school meals half term vouchers.
Not really looking for advice or budgeting advice here, just a bit of solidarity really :(

Many posters saying we’re a wealthy country. Which is true in a sense - but the problem is “being a wealthy country” is not necessarily a permanent God given status. Every country wants to be a citizen of a wealthy nation. The idea that countries like the UK can be on cruise control in a world where there are now for example, 2 billion Indian and Chinese people working their asses off and expecting a middle class standard of living is fiction.

All we have control of over the next few decades is now choosing at the ballot box who gets hit first and who gets hit hardest - the super rich who employ billions of people but are resented for their super yachts and mansions. The middle classes who cling to their annual family holidays, power the economy and decide elections. Or the poor who already have nothing left to cut. Take your pick.

@notanothertakeaway I remember Black Wednesday & the palpable shock in the office when the announcements were made. Adults sat in the office weeping as the interest rate rises wiped out the household budget for food let alone everyday luxuries.

My parents went through the worst of the 1970s & although they both worked, it was hard to get by. As a child, all I remember was the candles as the country went through the 3-day week & being told about the sugar shortage - in the days when hot sweet tea was an essential to keep going when food was too dear or in scarce supply.

School dinners: kids queued up for seconds & food was dished up without comment as it was unlikely they’d get a decent evening meal. The school dinners were nourishing & wholesome. Much as JamieO gets up my nose, the one useful thing he did was challenge the ‘turkey twizzler’ school dinner.

My grandparents went through the Great Depression which compounded the loss & poverty of WW1.

This is not the first time things have been really tough & it won’t be the last. The worst of times will pass but it’s fucking grim to go through it.

Sorry if it's already been mentioned, and absolutely shouldn't be needed in UK in 21 century, but have a look and see if there is a foodcycle in reach- 3 course veggie hot meal for free. You get what's there, which depends on food donated and the volunteers cooking.
No entry requirements, all welcome.
The nearest one to me has a stable base of people who come every week, are fun, welcoming to new guests and are there as much to see each other as eat.

@Hawkins001

Will everyone that wants to save £ be cancelling their Netflix, sky tv packages ect I know the internet is an essential for most, but tv is a luxury.

I dont have a TV package to cancel

@EdgeOfSeventeenAndThreeQuarter

I know this wasn't the point of your post, so apologies, but how are paying only £5.99 for Netflix? Mine is £13.99 a month 🙈

@Sofiegiraffe mine just went up to £6.99
Are you paying to use it on more than 1 device ?

tv is a luxury.

Tv is not a luxury FFS!! It’s a basic which should be affordable to everyone living in the sixth richest country in the world.

@fedup078

I've just looked it up, we are paying off the premium package which is the most expensive. We often use it on multiple devices yes, but not simultaneously. Does this mean we could get away with going for a cheaper subscription?

Also the premium package is increasing £15.99 soon! I'm definitely downgrading that, I didn't even realise we had the most expensive option!

@Sofiegiraffe yeah I use it on the tv and iPad but there's only me in the house so no one to argue over the tv with
If someone was watching it on the tv and I wanted to watch it on the iPad I'd have to watch what they are watching I think

It is utterly depressing and soul destroying :(

I have 3 young kids, 2 not in school yet and I'm just trying to be very pragmatic and methodical with how to get by, and focus on the positives.

My main worry is the same as yours OP - the price of food shopping. I made a meal planner spreadsheet a couple of weeks ago and was also in tears over it - over £110 for just the food if we wanted to get a weeks worth of normal stuff we are used to buying. 3 years ago in Asda I would spend £55 and have a great food shop.

I don't know how they expect us to cope or why they expect us to put up with it. In a modern world where it's out in the open and rubbed in our faces about how rich these people in charge are, they expect millions of us to put up with no measures in place to help us, when we are facing choices such as skipping meals to feed the kids, sitting in the cold to buy milk, it's awful :(

Remember when Jacob Rees Mogg was asked about massive increase in food bank usage and he replied:

“I don't think the state can do everything that it tries. It provides a basic level of welfare... but on some occasions that will not work and to have charitable support given by people voluntarily to support their fellow citizens I think is rather uplifting and shows what a good compassionate country we are."

So you have a high profile and influential Tory stating that “the state”, ie the Conservative government which is charge of one of the richest 20 counties in the world, cannot be expected to ensure that people have sufficient money to feed their family.

This isn’t a blip for the Tories. It’s at the very heart of their ideology: a society of extreme wealth for a few, enough wealth for some, and not enough wear to buy basic food for others - who will need to rely on charities and compassion. That’s their ideology.

@Sofiegiraffe

Also the premium package is increasing £15.99 soon! I'm definitely downgrading that, I didn't even realise we had the most expensive option!

If you're not using it on multiple devices at the same time and don't care about super HD or whatever it is then yes downgrade.

A church near us has a Care and Share scheme. A volunteer is matched up with a family and the volunteer does a shop for the family once a month. The volunteer is reimbursed and the family is asked what they need. I was shocked to find baby milk was £13. I am unsure as to whether the child has an allergy but as well as the price of nappies it is no wonder people struggle. I believe lots of churches are doing this.

@LizzieSiddal

tv is a luxury.

Tv is not a luxury FFS!! It’s a basic which should be affordable to everyone living in the sixth richest country in the world.

This has got to be one of the daftest comments ever on MN.

TV a necessity? A 'basic'? Since when? I have friends who choose not to have one.

My parents didn't have one for years when I was a child. Not because of cost but because they thought it a waste of time/ life watching it.

I don't know the OP but it always shocks me how people say they can't afford food but pay out for sky, expensive phone contracts, other subscription type TV.

I'm also wondering how anyone spends £10 a DAY on fuel to get to work unless they are doing a VERY long trip.

i’m so sorry lovely, i agree it’s absolutely ridiculous. i really recommend getting the “too good to go” app, you can get bags of leftover food from restaurants and supermarkets for only £3.50 and the value for money is unbelievable.

sending you a massive hug 🫂

Btw, I don’t even necessarily even think that ideology is evil. But it just instinctively reminds me of Biblical or perhaps mediaval times rather than what a relatively wealthy country in 2022 ought to aspire to.

@liveforsummer Its sort of moved beyond its original brief and its a tool , some people post asking what they can make out of some random cupboard ingredients for their family and people will give suggestions .There is a lady that publishes lovely cheap turkish recipies.

@Pitafalafel

Many posters saying we’re a wealthy country. Which is true in a sense - but the problem is “being a wealthy country” is not necessarily a permanent God given status. Every country wants to be a citizen of a wealthy nation. The idea that countries like the UK can be on cruise control in a world where there are now for example, 2 billion Indian and Chinese people working their asses off and expecting a middle class standard of living is fiction.

All we have control of over the next few decades is now choosing at the ballot box who gets hit first and who gets hit hardest - the super rich who employ billions of people but are resented for their super yachts and mansions. The middle classes who cling to their annual family holidays, power the economy and decide elections. Or the poor who already have nothing left to cut. Take your pick.

I'm sorry but isn't the choice incredibly obvious? People can and should expect a decent standard of living. If perhaps it genuinely was no fault of our government, perhaps it would be an easier pill to swallow. But to know full well of all the scandals, dodgy conflicts of interest, cronyism and self serving politics, you can understand why there is an extra element of upset. We can't accept a chronic downturn in standards of living, there would be no end to it.

Look at America where people frequently work 2 jobs just to make ends meet, have minimal holiday and no maternity pay, etc.

@Pitafalafel

Remember when Jacob Rees Mogg was asked about massive increase in food bank usage and he replied:

“I don't think the state can do everything that it tries. It provides a basic level of welfare... but on some occasions that will not work and to have charitable support given by people voluntarily to support their fellow citizens I think is rather uplifting and shows what a good compassionate country we are."

So you have a high profile and influential Tory stating that “the state”, ie the Conservative government which is charge of one of the richest 20 counties in the world, cannot be expected to ensure that people have sufficient money to feed their family.

This isn’t a blip for the Tories. It’s at the very heart of their ideology: a society of extreme wealth for a few, enough wealth for some, and not enough wear to buy basic food for others - who will need to rely on charities and compassion. That’s their ideology.

Exactly. Sorry ignore my previous post, I'm upset and tired and misunderstood it.

I don't know the OP but it always shocks me how people say they can't afford food but pay out for sky, expensive phone contracts, other subscription type TV.

I don't think anyone is talking about paying for sky.

Mobiles are essential to today's world. Again, I don't know who's talking about expensive packages.

Netflix is what? £6.99 a month? And given that's a main source of entertainment for many people the cost/benefit analysis of it would most definitely be worth it.

@Pitafalafel

Btw, I don’t even necessarily even think that ideology is evil. But it just instinctively reminds me of Biblical or perhaps mediaval times rather than what a relatively wealthy country in 2022 ought to aspire to.

Of course it is evil. It's pure greed and apathy toward suffering. Selfishness in the extreme.

Op this is a horrible feeling. I’ve been there. I am there. I’ve been here for a long time. Then sometimes I go ”fuck it” and then feel sick and guilty for the next 3 weeks whilst I wait to start the process again. It is truly disgusting that we have to live this way and there seems like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. No advice sadly. Just solidarity xx

@JinglingHellsBells Where do u live that u can make a tenner on petrol last longer than a day? I might move there Sometimes "work" doesn't mean sitting in one place from 9am to 5pm

I actually agree with a pp that tv is not a luxury to some people. The elderly and lonely often use tv to curb lonliness as it's something to listen to other than silence. It doesn't matter if peoples parents or grandparents never had one. Community used to be much different back then. You would have families living with grandparents until they died or at least in the same vicinity to visit every day. Now people can go weeks or months without seeing a soul they know. We aren't talking premium sky packages either just basic tv.