To have cried in asda

[Littlemissdan]

Is it just me that the whole cost of living thing is getting too much for? I actually had a (very small and no one watching!) cry in asda when I saw some reduced bakery goods because I didn’t know if I could afford them alongside my entire smartprice shop. £30 I had for a 2 week shop including nappies, and it just broke me that I actually had to wonder if I could afford a 55p treat for my kids. I can’t believe we’re living like this, 3 years ago we were comfortable and now I’m relying on the free school meals half term vouchers.
Not really looking for advice or budgeting advice here, just a bit of solidarity really :(

Everyone in this position, please write to your MP. Tell them your circumstances if relevant and what you want them to do. Seeing others struggle like the OP, I've written to mine asking that benefits get an 8% uplift to better keep pace with the cost of living. See more here: www.theguardian.com/society/2022/mar/13/sunak-urged-to-raise-benefits-by-left-and-right
The tories need to feel they will lose the next election over it and possibly have to deal with civil unrest. They have form for U turning on decisions, so let's put the pressure on.

Oh, OP, I read this with tears in my eyes.

I absolutely recommend Too Good to Go if this is available to you.

Pasta is going up in price along with everything else, but courgette makes a surprisingly good spaghetti if you slice it really thinly (you don't need a spiraliser or any fancy tools).

The Old Style forum on moneysavingexpert.com is a treasure trove of thrifty recipes. Hob nobs and fruit cobbler are still some of my children's favourite sweet treats.

When cooking rice and pasta, as long as you have a pan with a lid, boil it for 5 minutes then put on the lid and take off the heat. This saves a fair bit of energy each time. Lid on for 5 minutes for pasta, 15 for rice. Rinse the rice first.

Things cook quicker if they're in smaller pieces.

Also, white vinegar is a great cleaner, fabric softener and limescale remover.

You are not alone. You have an army of online mums fighting the same battle. Courage to you.

@Laptopsandmouses

I think people are being unfair to the electric bike poster. The op spends ten pounds a day on her commute. That’s 200 a month. You can pick up a send hand electric bike for that, and after four weeks she’d be in profit and buying it wouldn’t cost her any more than her monthly commute bill.

So what she doesn’t go to work for a month to save up?

It’s not that simple in the real world is it

Really just posting to say I am really sorry to hear thisOP and my heart goes out to you.

I expect others have said all this but

• is it worth calling your community food larder, explaining your situation really honestly - there may well be a way to pick up a food bag out of hours
• contact trussell trust re food bank referral. You can often self refer. Other organisations also run food banks, like churches - your citizens advice is probably a good place to find out where they are

.

• do you belong to money saving expert? Should be a good source of support and practical advice.
• jack munroe and skintdad are good for budget recipes and planning

• thinking in advance, contact charities that could help with kids clothes and presents. Salvation Army and a few others do Christmas presents. There are different charities across the uk that can help with clothes - kidsloveclothes.co.uk is one in Scotland, but they can probably tell you how to find your local one.

• is there anyway either of you could take on a second job eg deliveries?

• is there anyone you could lift share with to work? There are a few apps I think to connect people.

It’s shit I know. I am so sorry. We have to trust it will get better. Right now I’d only say reach out and get all the help you can - you sound like a great mum.

Feeling it too and dreading my weekly shop, I am going to Lidl more

@Laptopsandmouses

I think people are being unfair to the electric bike poster. The op spends ten pounds a day on her commute. That’s 200 a month. You can pick up a send hand electric bike for that, and after four weeks she’d be in profit and buying it wouldn’t cost her any more than her monthly commute bill.

@Laptopsandmouses

Clearly you have never been skint. Like thousands around the UK the OP is contemplating skipping meals. How is she going to find £200 for a bike???

If you can find a source of zero interest long period loans for electric bikes, that might be useful

So either try and actually be helpful, or go off and educate yourself.

Can I reiterate the advice already given to let your children's school know if you're struggling? They may be able to offer help and at the least give children breakfast- we would always find something for a child who turns up having not had anything. They may also be able to put you in touch with other organisations who might help. If you're struggling to buy uniform, they may well,like us, have a stash of stuff that people have donated as their children outgrow it and much of it is like new.

@Tiredtiredtired100

YANBU to cry, it is a very upsetting and frightening thing to be on the breadline. You have my complete and utter sympathy.

I always remember a thread on mumsnet from some years ago about meal planning where one poster said that they were so poor they meal planned everything and once a friend and daughter came over and she gave them a cup of tea and biscuit using her last biscuit and bit of milk. They barely drank the tea and the child merely nibbled at the biscuit. When they left she sobbed because that was all she had left. This story has stuck with me as it epitomises how little we know about the struggles of even our closest friends.

I hope things get better soon 💐

@Tiredtiredtired100 i rem that thread. Was awful

@Littlemissdan can a friend pick up a bag from the food bank for you

If you are in kent I would happily pick up fir you and drop off to you as I work nights so about in the day

I did think about this the other day. They are open usually 9-5

The time many work

Wonder if any open in the evening

@Hearwego

Wasn’t there a cost of living crisis in the early 90s ? I was a kid so didn’t appreciate how tough it was then but I do understand it now. People are hard up. Even with both parents working. Although back then we had less choice with shops and didn’t have the internet.

Yes @Hearwego Lots of redundancies late 80's / early 90's. Lots of houses repossessed. My mortgage interest rate was over 15%

@GrandTheftWalrus

I'm worried about money etc now. We went to get our 10 month old milk today and its went up from 7.99 to 8.49. Another shop has put it up from 10 to 13.50. 6.50 for 24 nappies. How is anyone able to afford that?

@GrandTheftWalrus all formulas are the same ingredients so try Aldi or Lidl own make baby formula

It’s cheaper then the usual sma gow and gate or aptimil but the same

I’m a maternity nurse and used fir my own daughter 5yrs ago

The truth about being skint:

1. no, I will not cancel my £5.99/month Netflix. It’s a drop in the ocean. For the last two months my account has been empty and the payment not gone through. Netflix to their credit don’t charge you £12 for the privilege of not being able to pay.

I realise many of you have never been charged for missing a payment and that you couldn’t possibly conceive not having £5.99…

2. skint people who’ve missed payments here and there are refused Klarna.

People with no money don’t GET 0% APR.

It’s expensive being poor.

We are skint most months and no we will not be cancelling Netflix/Disney/Prime.

We don’t watch live tv, so this is our entertainment.

We also don’t have days out because we can’t afford to

Clear pay and Laybuy do not require credit searches and are also 0%. I buy essentials items from places that use one of them and schedule payments for a Monday which is when my tax credits go in. Then the item is paid for and I have no choice but to survive on what's left for that week. It's a struggle but means my dc can get a new pair of trainers etc when they need them

It’s expensive being poor.

Sadly true. I am lucky I can bulk buy things, or buy bigger packs and split them with my sisters family to get the best deals. But when people are watching every last penny that isn’t an option.

I have easy access to the likes of Lidl and Aldi but so many people don’t and have to rely on corner shops which aren’t cheap.

The whole thing is tucked up and going to get worse sadly

The out-of-town drive-in supermarket model is not working for many of us.

For medical reasons, our house is gluten & lactose free. The cost of decent GF stuff is sold at a premium as for some it is a lifestyle choice. Already expensive, we are anxious that once the discretionary demand drops, supermarkets will no long bother stocking GF goods etc worth buying.

Supermarkets running out of basics? Yes, because the corporate assumption is that shoppers will then buy the nearby equivalent at the higher price, & the evidence is that this is what happens. So why would supermarket change their stock patterns?

As good GF foods fly off the shelves leaving the bleugh stuff behind, we’ve spoken with store managers to encourage them to order more of the popular tasty stuff & they claim that the matter is out of their control. All done by AI systems/Head Office etc.

@Londoncallingme

Get an electric bike for work?

Paid for how ????,

There is a facebook page called feed yourself for a £1 a day , its not strictly a £1 a day , but you might pick up tips and moral support from people going through the same thing.

notanothertakeaway

My mortgage interest rate was 18%. DH and I were working in average paid jobs and never worried about paying for food or bills. We gave up restaurtants and going out because we wanted to pay the mortage as soon as we could, but that was our choice.

Employment stats are not real, they are manipulated by governments. There is a big casualitation in the job market, zero contracts, which means people don't know if they are going to have a job tomorrow or simply can't find more hours to work. Wages have staled for the last 3/4 years and in the meantime, mortages are huge and food and bills expenses are sky rocketing

I lived the 80/90s and IMO it's worse, much worse now.

It's an absolute nightmare.
I'm really struggling too.
It doesn't help when I have to pay £150 for school transport every 4 weeks.

It’s expensive being poor

It really is . When my ex left me with a baby having cleared out the bank account, I went to the bank for a £100 overdraft but was turned down, I had no option but to buy nappies and milk on my credit card.
(I will be forever grateful to the bank employee, who saw me fighting back tears and came running after me to give me a small amount of money from her own purse)
I'm not quite in the same situation now but having worked my arse off to improve things it's so depressing to have to watch every penny again.

@alondra

What are you in about we only use 3% Russian gas

Heating Oil I dont know the figures

In Austria they are stuck with 80% Russian gas Germany 50%. Quite a difference!!!

We have been far to slow to move to renewables. That much is clear. Too expansive to do so -HA. Well that's kicked us up the arse has it not.

@jessycake

There is a facebook page called feed yourself for a £1 a day , its not strictly a £1 a day , but you might pick up tips and moral support from people going through the same thing.

It's based on per person though and does not include the purchase of store cupboard essentials such spices or non food items. This means for a family of 5 if sticking rigidly to £1 a day which is pretty impossible it would still be £35 just on food with still laundry, cleaning and hygiene products and store cupboard bits to replace on top. Even that's pretty unrealistic for many

I've seen ads that Asdas here do kids eat free at their cafes, have a look if yours do it as well?

@StiltonIsLife

I've seen ads that Asdas here do kids eat free at their cafes, have a look if yours do it as well?

Which is great but even things like that you normally have to buy a meal for the adult to get the free childrens meal so it still won’t help those who are down to pennies sadly.

Sitting in bed on Sunday morning, trying not to cry.

Please, please never feel ashamed to be using a food bank. I have worked in one, I can promise you all of us there viewed it as just another kind of shop - please see it that way too. And our clients were saving all the food from going to landfill. Win win.