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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have cried in asda

705 replies

Littlemissdan · 02/04/2022 20:39

Is it just me that the whole cost of living thing is getting too much for? I actually had a (very small and no one watching!) cry in asda when I saw some reduced bakery goods because I didn’t know if I could afford them alongside my entire smartprice shop. £30 I had for a 2 week shop including nappies, and it just broke me that I actually had to wonder if I could afford a 55p treat for my kids. I can’t believe we’re living like this, 3 years ago we were comfortable and now I’m relying on the free school meals half term vouchers.
Not really looking for advice or budgeting advice here, just a bit of solidarity really :(

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
EdgeOfSeventeenAndThreeQuarter · 03/04/2022 10:04

sofie I’ve just got the most basic package. Only 1 TV in this house and as for HD? My 49 year old eyes couldn’t tell the difference! 😂

gonetogroundnow · 03/04/2022 10:05

The thing that frustrates me the most is the least deserving profiteering for doing the middle man job.

We're farmers, we grow milling wheat, malting barley and veggies that do into the uk food chain. The commodity prices have risen 50% for us which is good but the fertiliser prices have gone from £200/tonne - £1000/tonne in less than six months and red diesel has gone from 65ppl to £1.20.

I don't actually know how we can grow next years crop without sustaining a huge loss, and our decision to not grow will likely shove the price up even more. It's a very depressing thought.

velvet24 · 03/04/2022 10:09

[quote Sofiegiraffe]@EdgeOfSeventeenAndThreeQuarter

I know this wasn't the point of your post, so apologies, but how are paying only £5.99 for Netflix? Mine is £13.99 a month 🙈[/quote]
we are adding ours to sky - its then £9 a month from 13.99 I(btw its going up to 15.99)

Newbieforever009 · 03/04/2022 10:09

It shocking.
In Tesco yesterday, I always buy a cheap Tesco choc block ice lollies which were always £ 0.90
They were £1.60 yesterday. I was shocked and sadly put them back.

Proudboomer · 03/04/2022 10:10

I did my food shop in Asda yesterday. I had a budget of £50 for a weeks shop for 3 adults plus put enough petrol in the car to get to work.No children and I had already bought the cat food elsewhere so 3 meals a day for 3 adults. For the first I’ve in 20 years I couldn’t justify spending £3 on a semi decent small jar of coffee and bought their own for £1.60. The cheapest mince was £1.90 and where previously would have been one meal it is now two. Half is in the freezer for later in the week and the other half is a padded out for tonight. I am diabetic so all the cheap fillers like pasta, rice, bread and potatoes I can’t eat as I have a very carb restricted diet. I don’t usually eat cereal but a £1.20 box of Asda own will be breakfast for a week and is a lot cheaper than any other option. I usually buy a ready cooked chicken to have Saturday night as it is quick and easy if I haven’t been home all day but a large cooked chicken is now over £7 but I was lucky and managed to get a reduced one for £5.50 but I can’t see me buying them at £7. I am still somewhat lucky as I can still manage and have some savings put away but god only knows how long that will last if things continue as they are going and just one unexpected bill or repair that is needed could be the tipping point. Plus I work in retail so it is always a threat that the high street won’t survive and I will be out of a job and at my age and with the caring responsibilities I have it won’t be easy to find another job that I can fit around my care responsibilities and then my income old be reduced to carers allowance and a small pension. Worrying times we are living through now for a lot of people.

Rainydaysandmondays24 · 03/04/2022 10:11

Sadly the free school meals vouchers don't help when we are having to pay twice that amount just to fetch our children from school in a taxi.
I'm a single parent/ carer and really struggling.

velvet24 · 03/04/2022 10:17

How much does everyone budget for weekly food? I budget £70 but trying to get it down more now, we are a family of 4 (older Kids ) and small animals.
I am now typing lists on Excel with the budget next to each item as I cannot afford to go over at all now, hoping to find the reductions but not sure what time they come out.

Shuuu · 03/04/2022 10:19

I’m so sorry Op, I remember these days all too well. The only advice I have is probably bad advice. If paying all my bills meant I couldn’t eat I didn’t pay all my bills. From experience water rates are very reasonable. I swear we lived off noodles for 6 weeks. It was so depressing. I’m still holding out hope the government will intervene here. Probably naive though

Changemyname18 · 03/04/2022 10:20

Why on earth are you using a taxi to pick your kids up from school??? Evenif you are still at work at that time, if they are primary age who are they going to( and most primary kids live walking distance from school) or secondary school kids should use public transport or walk

Shuuu · 03/04/2022 10:21

@velvet24

How much does everyone budget for weekly food? I budget £70 but trying to get it down more now, we are a family of 4 (older Kids ) and small animals. I am now typing lists on Excel with the budget next to each item as I cannot afford to go over at all now, hoping to find the reductions but not sure what time they come out.
I have £80, sounds a lot but that includes nappies for 2 kids & baby milk, all toiletries, all cleaning & household goods. It soon goes. But I know ppl are a lot worse off, I’m so grateful to not be struggling so much anymore it’s utterly depressing & exhausting.

Where are you located zip? If you don’t mind me asking.

INeedNewShoes · 03/04/2022 10:24

I understand this completely.

I had this moment last week when I was driving DD and her friend to a gymnastics class (class fees paid for by a kind relative!) and needed petrol. I had £10 available in my account so put £10 of fuel in the car. DD's friend then pipes up 'my daddy always buys me a Kinder bar at the petrol station' and I thought I literally do not have the capacity on my bank card to add that to the petrol! Sad state of affairs!

To add insult to injury, having put the £10 in the car the bloody fuel light didn't even go off!

I'd keep trying with TooGoodToGo OP. I gather Morrisons do generous bags of proper food; much better value than a Costa bag for example which won't go far. And I got a really good bag from our farm shop that gave us fruit and veg for a week.

Rainydaysandmondays24 · 03/04/2022 10:26

@Changemyname18

Why on earth are you using a taxi to pick your kids up from school??? Evenif you are still at work at that time, if they are primary age who are they going to( and most primary kids live walking distance from school) or secondary school kids should use public transport or walk
Secondary school age. We live 4 miles from school. She is under going assessments for ASD and has severe anxiety. Not entitled to free transport as don't have EHCP as yet. Can't cope with the public service bus due to anxiety and difficulty crossing roads. I don't drive.
Interviewdisaster · 03/04/2022 10:26

And the poster who suggested using public transport plainly doesn't live somewhere in the sticks where the bus fare for the 5 mile trip into the nearest town is £6, each way. No safe walking route, either, before anyone suggests it. It's a narrow 60mph road with no pavements for most of it.

But we don’t know if this is the case for the OP, do we? Perhaps they DO live somewhere with cheaper public transport or a bike-able commute? (Doesn’t have to be an expensive electric bike, pedal power is cheap). If not, fair enough, but it’s worth suggesting.

Even as someone who lived without a TV for years in my 20s, I wouldn’t dismiss someone who didn’t want to get rid of their Netflix subscription. Reading is fantastic if you’re a fluent reader (which rules out anyone under the age of about 7, or with dyslexia) but it’s hardly a shared experience is it? Where as snuggling up with your small children and watching a film together actually is.

Changemyname18 · 03/04/2022 10:30

For context, i am sympathetic, lived through teenage years in the 80s with dad in and out of work under a Tory govt. But it taught me to be resourceful, to walk or cycle, to live without things and to stay warm and clean in a house without a washing machine, central heating or double glazed windows. People are not cold in the UK, they are just badly dressed. Going without treats is seen as a hardship, and going without food, but still having you sky tv and fancy smartphone is considered poverty. How many people moaning about the cost of living have really properly evaluated their budgets? I worked hard from my teens given this experience, and now live reasonably comfortably. I could afford a lot of treats, extras, fancier clothes. Are they essential? No. By living like that when times were good means I can adjust for fuel prices now

Frazzled2207 · 03/04/2022 10:33

This is awful and shouldn’t be happening.
Please try and find the energy to write to your mp. Most of them don’t have a clue.

Vapeyvapevape · 03/04/2022 10:35

I'm also wondering how anyone spends £10 a DAY on fuel to get to work unless they are doing a VERY long trip

It costs my dd's bf £10 a day in fuel to get to work- there is no option to take public transport.

SucculentChalice · 03/04/2022 10:35

This country is horrible right now. Salaries have decreased so much because we were supposed to put up with zero or negligible pay rises for years due to austerity and now everything has gone up by about 20%. Except salaries.

I try to do something free like going out for a walk and the grass verges are never cut by the local authority so the footpaths have become overgrown and I have to walk on the road. Small things like that.

I'm thinking of moving to France and I'm grateful I'm in a position to be able to do so.

mjf981 · 03/04/2022 10:37

It sounds incredibly grim in the UK. I emigrated but have always thought we would move home at some point. But, I increasingly don't think this way anymore. The stories I read and hear from my relatives area so sad. Are any of you encouraging your children to leave the country? There are still countries where hard work will get you ahead, thought they are getting harder to find.

velvet24 · 03/04/2022 10:38

@Vapeyvapevape

I'm also wondering how anyone spends £10 a DAY on fuel to get to work unless they are doing a VERY long trip

It costs my dd's bf £10 a day in fuel to get to work- there is no option to take public transport.

Blimey £10 a 'day'???? thats a long commute???
GrandTheftWalrus · 03/04/2022 10:38

I have sky as we got it when money was a lot better so we are stuck in a contract now. Our phones are fancy smartphones which we got 2 years ago and are now on sim only contracts.

I will be phoning sky tomorrow though and looking into the bt broadband.

Also I'll try the aldi formula again for dd.

Vapeyvapevape · 03/04/2022 10:40

It is, he's thought about moving nearer but the cost of renting or buying is so much more as it's nearer London..

CatsAreBoppinAroundToTheRadio · 03/04/2022 10:42

@Mondaymanic

It's so hard not to get angry at the 'cancel TV and netflix and just be happy with a book' or 'just don't ever use your heating and put on another layer' comments. Sorry but living in a rich country I think EVERYONE should be able to afford, food, heating, electricity, the occasional small treat etc. Why do people think others should accept this standard of living and just shut up about it, especially when there is such disproportionate wealth in the country. I despair I really do... On one news article on social media where a mum was saying she was struggling to feed her kids, some of the comments were that she has nail polish on her nails so what is she complaining about, she clearly has a few pounds spare. Like Wtf. Makes me mad. Sorry for the rant Sad
Agreed. I think we need a Universal basic Income so that everyone has a chance at a decent standard of living.

It's being trialled at the moment in Wales for care leavers and it's also been trialled in other countries such as Finland I think, where people were happier and less stressed as a result, but at the end of the trial they found that people hadn't found work-which is why the Tories would probably never go for it. That was just the results of one trial though and I do think it needs to be looked into further.

I know that doesn't help the OP or anyone right now, I just keep coming back the UBI idea when thinking of a more equal society.

Here's an article about the Welsh UBI scheme anyway and some of the pros and cons re UBI:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-politics-57142970

I'm single and I've had to move back home because I can't afford to live. I'm a self employed musician and trying to build my business back up after covid. I'm very lucky to have family that can help me have a roof over my head whilst I do that, as a lot of people have no help whatsoever. It's a dire situation for so many and I really feel for you OP and everyone else in the same boat.

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 03/04/2022 10:48

@mycatisannoying

I shop at Tesco. Just one random example, but the bin bags I get used to be £1 for a pack of 10. Now the same pack is £3. Crazy. Really feel for you, OP x
These are cheap for the amount you get and are really big and strong. I never buy supermarket bin bags anymore
To have cried in asda
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 03/04/2022 10:49

@Londoncallingme

Get an electric bike for work?
What a fucking stupid Post. The OP can't afford a 55p baked good for her dc and you suggest she drops hundreds of imaginary pounds on an electric bike?
MurmuratingStarling · 03/04/2022 10:50

@Littlemissdan Not much more for me to add on here, as many posters have already given some brilliant advice... But you do have my sympathy, and so do many others on here. Flowers There are so many sad stories on here, it's heartbreaking... Sad

This is a helpful thread though, because it's highlighting how many people struggle so badly with day to day life, and the amount of poor/not well off people on here are a lot more than some people may have thought, which hopefully may be comforting in some way, as people know they are not alone.

When me and DH had DC when they were smaller (under 12,) we weren't too badly off, and managed to spoil the DC a bit (and ourselves,) and go on some nice holidays. But then a couple of life events hit us, (around the same time as the credit crunch, of 2008) and we almost went under.

Suffered and struggled for about five or six years, with no-one to help. All 4 parents passed a few years before. All average/normal people, no inheritance, no-one to help us. We were alone.

We were living like Charlie Bucket and his family for several years and really struggled just to raise the money for a couple of DC's school day trips. Other issues hit too because of the lack of money. I can totally relate to many posts on here.

Fortunately, we are now in a better position financially, no mortgage, no children at home as they are adults now, and we are OK, but I will never forget being poor as a Church mouse, and regularly give what I can now to food banks and various charities. Not trying to sound pious or braggy sorry, just that I do know how awful it is when you see £3.57 in your bank account to last a week, and you have children. I also used to be reduced to tears when we got a bill that was 2-3 times higher than we were expecting. So as I say, I do give now when I can/where I can.

We are not loaded by any means. But are OK. And my heart goes out to you.

As for the 'just get an electric bike' comment, I have seen posts by @Londoncallingme recently, and she was selling a spare flat she has, and also telling us she gave up work for a year because she didn't like her job and 'fancied a break.'

So this is someone who lives in a different world, and doesn't 'get' what it's like to have a fiver to live on for a week, and to be scared to lose a few days work because your lower pay means you will struggle to even pay the rent.

Even now, my DH works in a job where he doesn't get paid if he is off, so whilst we are 'OK;' if he suddenly needed several months off sick, we would get just £96.35 a week SSP for him. So we could easily be in a much worse position within 6 months. We take nothing for granted.

Also, take no notice of the muppets saying things like a 'TV is a luxury.' Nonsense. Even if a TV is not necessary for survival, it's essential for many peoples well-being and mental health. Ditto the internet. Keeps people in touch with the real world, and also MANY things are online now, and you NEED the internet for a lot of everyday things. Also £8.99 a month for Netflix is fuckall. People spend more than that on a packet of cigarettes!

As a pp said, are 'poor' people to have 0??? Let them lick the leftover food out of the bowl of next door's dog, and suck the gravy off the tablecloths in the local greasy spoon!

Fuxake. People deserve dignity and respect! Millions of people are suffering right now, and it's going to get a LOT worse before it gets better.

Hugs to everyone suffering right now. Flowers Hugs, and love, and warm wishes, and I hope everything gets better soon.

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