To have cried in asda

[Littlemissdan]

Is it just me that the whole cost of living thing is getting too much for? I actually had a (very small and no one watching!) cry in asda when I saw some reduced bakery goods because I didn’t know if I could afford them alongside my entire smartprice shop. £30 I had for a 2 week shop including nappies, and it just broke me that I actually had to wonder if I could afford a 55p treat for my kids. I can’t believe we’re living like this, 3 years ago we were comfortable and now I’m relying on the free school meals half term vouchers.
Not really looking for advice or budgeting advice here, just a bit of solidarity really :(

Now the warmer weather is coming I would definitely be getting ready to potty train a 2yo. You could also see if you could get any 2nd hand re-usuable nappies

I second this, we were absolutely skint when Dd was born and for two years afterwards. I got some reusable nappies from a charity shop and they saved me so much money. (I did continue to use a disposable at nighttime). She was potty trained by 19 months, just took her nappy off in the July, played outside in the garden most of the time and trained her to use the potty. (i know this may not work for every child but it does work for some).

@Londoncallingme

Get an electric bike for work?

Meanwhile in the real world…..

OP has said she is broke. How do you propose she pays for one.

It IS happening in other countries energy is soaring world wide

Yes how we many governments are choosing NOT to pass on the full costs to the general public. This government could have delayed the NI hike, as well as raised taxes for oil companies, but no they are deliberately choosing to make people suffer.

@GrandTheftWalrus

A woman moaned at me taking 3 packs of 20p chicken, it was for at least 4 meals for the week and I had £5 to my name for shopping. I snapped at her and told her it was to feed my dd and not everyone has money.

She would have probably taken them herself,like I would,to put in freezer. The other day, someone picked up a product on reduce shel, mulled it over, placed in basket,then returned back to shelf,knowing what it was,& I happen to love the product, I put it in mine,whereupon he said he was going to have it,told him, unlucky bud,you removed & put back you don’t get 2 chances in the dumpy game

I’m so glad that my thread has opened up so much help and advice for others in my situation. The kindness on here is overwhelming (aside from the one who just HAD to chime in with cancelling the tv package!). Thank you everyone who’s contributed with either solidarity, helpful advice, and general kindness. To the people in the same dire situation, all we can do is make sure we’re getting all we’re entitled to, and keep pushing on. It can’t be like this forever, it just can’t.

Bloody hell do you even know how expensive electric bikes are?!

I am so sorry, there is nothing I can say to help. It's a disgrace this is happening.

As a side note (and still not saying it is OK) but we had no money at all growing up. All our food was value range and planned out to be as cheap as possible, small meals etc. Yet looking back on my childhood I remember nothing but being happy and loved despite my mum saying she felt awful guilt for it at the time x

I have been reading this since last night. It is so fucking appalling that the country is such a mess yet richer continue to get rich and everyone else can't afford to live
I can't envision the next 12 months but DP told me his guess on what will happen and if even slightly true it's frightening

OP our London borough organises daily lunches for children over the holidays with no questions asked.

https://www.royalgreenwich.gov.uk/info/200234/childrenyounggpeopleanddfamilies/2108/holidaymealssforkids

Would your local area do similar? Shocking stuff and I'm really so sorry xx

I think people are being unfair to the electric bike poster. The op spends ten pounds a day on her commute. That’s 200 a month. You can pick up a send hand electric bike for that, and after four weeks she’d be in profit and buying it wouldn’t cost her any more than her monthly commute bill.

I'm so sorry OP and everyone who is struggling.
My 78 year old mum with severe arthritis is down to using one storage heater a day.
I am afraid for when my first bill comes.
I fear for the people on the lowest benefit rates as well as those on minimum wage, all of whom were already struggling.

@Laptopsandmouses

I think people are being unfair to the electric bike poster. The op spends ten pounds a day on her commute. That’s 200 a month. You can pick up a send hand electric bike for that, and after four weeks she’d be in profit and buying it wouldn’t cost her any more than her monthly commute bill.

But she doesn’t have £200! 🤦🏻‍♀️ She could try not commuting for a month to save that money but then she’d get fired and have even less. Besides which, she’d still need to charge the thing and electricity is only increasing in price.

It’s really really easy to save money by making “buy a secondhand electric bike” choices if you already have money. If you don’t have 55p, you don’t have a choice.

@Laptopsandmouses

I think people are being unfair to the electric bike poster. The op spends ten pounds a day on her commute. That’s 200 a month. You can pick up a send hand electric bike for that, and after four weeks she’d be in profit and buying it wouldn’t cost her any more than her monthly commute bill.

If your spending 10 per day on commute you don’t have 10 to put away,it’s already gone

It's so depressing, I thought we had left this in the 80s. My parents were the same when we were bairns- counting every single penny, often having to put essentials back, going without food so we could eat, all sharing one bath a week, the house so cold you could see your breath; I didn't realise until I was older just how much they sacrificed and stressed though as despite it had a very happy childhood and many happy memories. My mum especially still feels guilt around it, but I think shes bloody incredible and I have so much respect for what they both went through- its heartbreaking and ridiculous parents (and others of course) are going through this again, can't comprehend how the government has let this happen. I'm in a very privileged position that although as a hangover from growing up I'm careful with money anyway we don't have to worry about money, and I never take it for granted, thankfully I can help family members who need it during these rises, but I know many don't have that. Also agree that netflix etc is important, cripes let's not wish to blast everyone back to the shite old days!

Try too good to go for occasional treats x

@Willyoujustbequiet

I'm sorry op

For those naive posters suggesting Aldi/Lidl.. not everyone lives in cities. Sometimes the bus fare/petrol to get to a cheaper supermarket isnt possible

I'm so glad someone gets it.

I live in a town of nearly 20k people, and the shops here are also used by by many from the surrounding villages. We have an Aldi, but it's tiny, and they don't have room to stock enough stuff and frequently run out of basics. You can't rely on it, as the chances of being able to get everything you need in there are slim.

There's also a Waitrose and a Tesco, but again, they're both small and even pre-Covid they rarely had everything on your list. I swear that if you went into Tesco for 2 items, they wouldn't have one of them.

This all makes meal planning and economical shopping really challenging. The chances of being able to getall the ingredients for the meals you planned are not good - the other day, the only place in town that had fresh carrots was an expensive organic/health food store. (We used to have several greengrocers, but they've all closed down and have been replaced by coffee shops and hairdressers.)

They've built more and more houses here and in the surrounding villages, the population has massively increased but the shops are still the same size as they were when only 13k people lived here.

Nearest Wilko and Poundland are 13 miles away, nearest Home Bargains/B&M 20 miles. All are in areas really difficult to access by public transport, there's no direct bus route to either town.

It's bloody grim being poor, but being poor in an affluent town gives you far fewer options.

Maybe we should have "hunger marches", like they did in the 30s. But that won't happen, most people are too busy struggling to get by to get involved in activism.

@Littlemissdan you are not alone. It’s been a tough couple of years for most people & now the everyday cost of living has taken a sharp hike with more to come.

I assume that as you are both working that your household income is above the threshold for claiming benefits. It is always worth a check on Turn2Us or CAB websites just in case.

£10 pd to travel to work is fierce.I assume that your job means that you cannot WFH to save some of that money.

I’d like to think that after the breakthrough of the Covid lockdown mass WFH that some people can cut their travel costs down.

Your DC’s fussy eating is a tad indulgent at this time.
But it is a phase & worth moving them onto more nutritious & balanced fare. Consider it preparation for childcare/ nursery rather than denying DC their immediate preferences. It’s not about the cost of DC’s food - just little portions after all - it is about you smoothing the curve of what is bringing stress to the everyday household spend.

Oh yes, the electric bike comment fell flat so TY @AnotherDelphinium for putting some sense in to the idea as this may be useful to others. I’m passing that on to solo commuters.

@MaryAndHerNet

Yep solidarity from me. It's been that way for us for a long time now. There's no light at the end of the shitty tunnel either.

Stay strong. Remember one thing...
If the kids are fed and no one's dead and everyone's asleep in bed... The day went well.

I wouldn't say it "went well". It didn't go badly but it's not exactly what we hope for for our children.

You have my sympathy OP. I used to think work more, spend less until I was working 7 day weeks and couldn’t make the rent. At that point I decided the ex who sees the kids about an hour a month and pays 1/10th of his salary in maintenance should actually step up for once- I literally couldn’t work any harder.

Anyway, the prices increases are very concerning- in Tesco this morning there were three types if toothpaste- 2 were over £4! Throat lozenges were £5. You can get both in the pound shop luckily so there is definitely some strategic shopping needed. But it’s the 25p/50p increases everywhere that add up.

For me, with hungry teens it’s buying food that they will eat and that will fill them up. I know which foods are cheap but getting teenagers to eat them is another matter. There has to be a balance.

I buy a huge sack of potatoes from a local farm shop , I add potatoes to everything to bulk out chill con carne ,spaghetti bolognaise, stews etc Jacket potato with beans or tuna .

I really hope things improve for everyone struggling x

Totnes…a different world.

Great idea about the herb planters.

@Hawkins001

Will everyone that wants to save £ be cancelling their Netflix, sky tv packages ect I know the internet is an essential for most, but tv is a luxury.

I don’t have Sky or Netflix to cancel.

It's so hard not to get angry at the 'cancel TV and netflix and just be happy with a book' or 'just don't ever use your heating and put on another layer' comments.
Sorry but living in a rich country I think EVERYONE should be able to afford, food, heating, electricity, the occasional small treat etc. Why do people think others should accept this standard of living and just shut up about it, especially when there is such disproportionate wealth in the country.
I despair I really do... On one news article on social media where a mum was saying she was struggling to feed her kids, some of the comments were that she has nail polish on her nails so what is she complaining about, she clearly has a few pounds spare. Like Wtf. Makes me mad. Sorry for the rant

[quote whenwillthemadnessend]@Palloom

It IS happening in other countries energy is soaring world wide

Not uk only tho I agree govt need a wealth tax on these companies to help ride it our. [/quote]
Yes, energy prices are soaring world wide but the problem with the UK is they've never seriously invested in renewable energy programs or try diverting from Russia's gas and oil thanks to the Tory government you've had for many years.

Spain and Portugal have just fought tooth and nail with the EU to get special treatment for the Iberian peninsula as an energy island because of two reasons: both countries have a 46% gross renewable energy sources and are only 16% dependentant on gas. And that's the problem with the UK. The UK is dependant on on gas/oil from Russia and has never made any serious investment in renewable energy. Put Brexit, a global pandemic and a war where your major supplier of energy is involved, and you are in trouble. Put also an incompetent government that is more worried about passing laws to protect multi billion dollar multinationals than their own people, and you are more than in trouble.

It's incredible to read posts like the OP in a country that not many years ago had one of the highest living standards in the world. It's hearbreaking.

It's beyond disgraceful that the Government are happy for people to be struggling when we're a wealthy country. I'm so sorry OP that you're in this situation - it gives me the absolute rage to hear of such suffering. I'm glad you've had such supportive help on here.

Yesterday I sat down and wrote a long missive to my local (Tory) MP - certainly not voted for by me, about the whole cost of living crisis. Everyone does need to write to them - as well as the protests yesterday - I'm sure those self-serving Tories will be getting jittery about losing their seats in the next election. Hopefully they'll get a good trouncing at the local elections too.