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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have cried in asda

705 replies

Littlemissdan · 02/04/2022 20:39

Is it just me that the whole cost of living thing is getting too much for? I actually had a (very small and no one watching!) cry in asda when I saw some reduced bakery goods because I didn’t know if I could afford them alongside my entire smartprice shop. £30 I had for a 2 week shop including nappies, and it just broke me that I actually had to wonder if I could afford a 55p treat for my kids. I can’t believe we’re living like this, 3 years ago we were comfortable and now I’m relying on the free school meals half term vouchers.
Not really looking for advice or budgeting advice here, just a bit of solidarity really :(

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
JohPa · 03/04/2022 06:43

Now the warmer weather is coming I would definitely be getting ready to potty train a 2yo. You could also see if you could get any 2nd hand re-usuable nappies.

Pantonecolour · 03/04/2022 06:55

Hi OP, not sure if it's been said, haven't read all messages, but def contact your local food bank.

DH and I deliver for the foodbank and the range of people in need is so huge and varied. There is no judgement, just a lot of kindness and support.

LollyLol · 03/04/2022 06:56

Your post brought tears to my eyes, I am so sorry OP. It really shouldn't be this way and something has to change.

PS if your toddler likes melon, try extremely thinly-sliced apple floating in a bowl of chilled water. Slices not wedges. I loved this as a child and my kids (both fussy in different ways) love it too.You get the same sweet, wet deliciousness as melon but also very crisp and cheap. I have completely sold my 3 yo that apples are a super-special treat! When he begs for chocolate or jelly beans (he got some from his sister for Christmas and is obsessed with them), I say "weeeeelllll I was thinking maybe you've been such a good boy you might be lucky enough to get an apple. I might have one - shall I see?" And I act all excited when I find one in the fridge (obviously I have a massive bag of apples but he doesnt have to know that!)

Also try tinned peaches, my kids love them. Cheaper than fresh strawberries and hits that squishy sweet treat spot.

I know that might not help much but shaving a few pence off feeding the fussy child can make a difference. Fussy kids are such a pain, when you make food and they just say "no".

TeddyisMydog · 03/04/2022 07:02

I too am very worried about this, my youngest is only 4 months old and I wish I could turn back the clock to a year ago (when I'd just found out) because if I could've seen this happening, I probably wouldn't have made the choice to have her Sad I lost my job (company closed when I was a few months along)
There has been a few times I've got to the till and I'm 20p, 80p, 1 pound over budget. One man gave the cashier the pound and I cried for a good few days, there was nothing I could've put back either and like yourself I'm buying the basics and nothing fancy Sad

LakieLady · 03/04/2022 07:08

@KloppsTeeth

I’m sorry. We are in the same boat. One of my children is disabled and I am his full time carer. I have four university degrees and had a good career. Now we’re choosing between heating and eating because of price rises. I wrote to my Tory MP (whom I have never voted for) and he doesn’t care. We don’t qualify for anything extra. I can’t cut back any more.
Someone I know wrote to their MP about how she can't manage to heat her home AND feed her kids, despite working 30 hours pw and claiming everything she's entitled to.

She got a standard letter back, saying how important it is to pay back all the Covid debt and how we all have to make sacrifices.

Wtf can people who have nothing spare and can't meet their basic needs meant to sacrifice, ffs? One of their kids?

And the poster who suggested using public transport plainly doesn't live somewhere in the sticks where the bus fare for the 5 mile trip into the nearest town is £6, each way. No safe walking route, either, before anyone suggests it. It's a narrow 60mph road with no pavements for most of it.

womaninatightspot · 03/04/2022 07:11

It's totally rubbish I can relate. My top tips are Olio (which I see you've downloaded) trying to hit supermarket at right time for yellow sticker stuff and check out the £10 a day thread. I do surveys in my spare time and get vouchers for Amazon which I keep for emergencies like new trainers suddenly being needed. If you or your DH would be up for cycling to work. There's a place at the local recycling centre where people leave old bikes and there is often one that is in really good nick/ just needs the tyres pumped up. My bike and my kids bikes come from there as they are happy for you to take one. you can get a kids seat for the 2yo and drop off along the way.

fedup078 · 03/04/2022 07:26

Yeah I teared up at the petrol pump a few weeks back

liveforsummer · 03/04/2022 07:27

@Hawkins001

Will everyone that wants to save £ be cancelling their Netflix, sky tv packages ect I know the internet is an essential for most, but tv is a luxury.
Netflix is less than half the yearly cost of a tv licence. Surely us poor folks are allowed to watch something, especially when going to the cinema etc are out of the question. Movie nights and series watching at home is the main thing I do with dc in the evenings at weekends. We don't want to sit and read a book all the time. That's also not very sociable.
userxx · 03/04/2022 07:27

@TeddyisMydog

I too am very worried about this, my youngest is only 4 months old and I wish I could turn back the clock to a year ago (when I'd just found out) because if I could've seen this happening, I probably wouldn't have made the choice to have her Sad I lost my job (company closed when I was a few months along) There has been a few times I've got to the till and I'm 20p, 80p, 1 pound over budget. One man gave the cashier the pound and I cried for a good few days, there was nothing I could've put back either and like yourself I'm buying the basics and nothing fancy Sad

This is hard to read. How have we got to this.

LunaMay · 03/04/2022 07:28

[quote Hawkins001]@justonanote

A good book cheap as chips in charity shops, and food on the table and more £ for gas and some savings on electricity being saved via not having tv on or routers, etc[/quote]
And for those who can't read?

Thelikelylass · 03/04/2022 07:31

My father left our home in the 70's and my mum had absolutely no money at all for a full week to feed us, and it didn't get much better for her. found out as an adult but she said it was terrifying and she felt ashamed so couldn't tell anyone.
It makes me so angry to read these threads and how apathetic the government appears. I'm going to forward this thread and keep forwarding it. Something needs to be done.
I am sad for all of you waking this morning to worry about how you're going to feed your children today, tomorrow and the next week.

liveforsummer · 03/04/2022 07:34

@earsup

I have noticed that even the reduced items are barely reduced now also...maybe 40p off a £3 item...used to be a lot more.
Yes I agree yellow stickers are rarely much value. Often random items that don't fit in to a cheap meal plan and the reduction usually isn't worth it for the reduced shelf life when you could pay 40p more but have your item fresh and useable for significantly longer
Fivemoreminutes1 · 03/04/2022 07:34

I cried at the petrol station.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 03/04/2022 07:39

@Tiredtiredtired100

YANBU to cry, it is a very upsetting and frightening thing to be on the breadline. You have my complete and utter sympathy.

I always remember a thread on mumsnet from some years ago about meal planning where one poster said that they were so poor they meal planned everything and once a friend and daughter came over and she gave them a cup of tea and biscuit using her last biscuit and bit of milk. They barely drank the tea and the child merely nibbled at the biscuit. When they left she sobbed because that was all she had left. This story has stuck with me as it epitomises how little we know about the struggles of even our closest friends.

I hope things get better soon 💐

I also remember that post so clearly - it broke my heart.

We aren't at that stage yet, but have been in the past - me and DH not eating much so we had food for the kids, and sending them to school in the morning with one slice of toast with a scrape of marge between the two of them for their breakfast.

My two are adults now so I don't have to worry about them to the same extent - but I have 3 dogs and 2 cats that I could comfortably afford to feed and keep before, and it truly worries me that I might not be able to in the near future and might have to let them go.

Rescues are already overcrowded, and TBH I would choose euthanasia for them myself, rather than risk them ending up being killed anyway without anyone they loved to comfort them in their last moments - but even that is expensive, A friend had to have her standard poodle put to sleep and it cost her £295!

mogsrus · 03/04/2022 07:43

@Londoncallingme

Get an electric bike for work?
How much is a electric bike? If you’re counting cash for food, where does the money come from for a bike?
SchadenfreudePersonified · 03/04/2022 07:44

@Hawkins001

Will everyone that wants to save £ be cancelling their Netflix, sky tv packages ect I know the internet is an essential for most, but tv is a luxury.
No - TV is NOT a luxury. It's considered an essential nowadays.

But don't worry, you'll get your wish that we stop watching it because most of us will have our electricity cut off.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 03/04/2022 07:46

@justonanote

A good book cheap as chips in charity shops, and food on the table and more £ for gas and some savings on electricity being saved via not having tv on or routers, etc

And when your electricity is cut off and there isn't the light to read by?

sHREDDIES19 · 03/04/2022 07:52

I’m not going to pretend I’m in the same boat but I wanted to say that I do think pretty much most people feel it to an extent. I was also in Asda yesterday and I thought most things had gone up quite a bit and I left a few items as I know I can get them cheaper in Aldi. We’re comfortable I guess but feeling it more with everything skyrocketing. I had a very poor childhood and I was thinking about this going around Asda yesterday, just how many people will be absolutely crippled by all of these growing costs. It’s really bleak.

Hearwego · 03/04/2022 07:55

So basically you're doing a weekly shop for £15 including nappies? How? Try cheaper shops.**

How can she do it much cheaper than that?
Maybe OP doesn’t have a cheaper store near her? Plus, I’ve found all supermarket prices change frequently anyway, regardless of where you go.

Hearwego · 03/04/2022 07:58

Wasn’t there a cost of living crisis in the early 90s ? I was a kid so didn’t appreciate how tough it was then but I do understand it now.
People are hard up. Even with both parents working.
Although back then we had less choice with shops and didn’t have the internet.

JustDanceAddict · 03/04/2022 07:58

So sorry that so many of you are struggling. The govt are greedy shitbags unfortunately.
We are very lucky to be able to absorb the hike in prices, but I will never completely rest on my laurels.

ChillyAvocado · 03/04/2022 07:59

So sorry OP :( you certainly aren’t being unreasonable to cry in Asda, I can’t believe this is happening to people. Breaks my heart to read.

I hope things get better for you and anyone else struggling like this x

whenwillthemadnessend · 03/04/2022 08:03

Yes my church have a food table where anyone can walk in a take bits they need. Worth looking at your local churches.

mogsrus · 03/04/2022 08:03

@HerbErtlinger

It's a horrible feeling. I was £1.50 for a direct debit in my account on Friday and my bank messaged they would reverse the debit if I didn't have the money in my account by end of the day (get paid on Monday) I had to message my best friend to ask if she would transfer me it and I was so embarrassed. Bless her, she put £30 in my account so I wasn't short over the weekend which made me cry. It's a scary time right now
And that IS a friend, hopefully you can thank her in some small way sometime.
whenwillthemadnessend · 03/04/2022 08:08

@Palloom

It IS happening in other countries energy is soaring world wide

Not uk only tho I agree govt need a wealth tax on these companies to help ride it our.