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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let my toddler (3yo next month) skip his nap

110 replies

marykitty · 01/04/2022 14:32

My toddler will be 3yo next month.
Since circa 1 month he is fighting his nap. I tried everything because i really want him to nap but he just does not want to sleep.

He becomes overtired right before sleep time though. But if he naps, he is then awake until 10PM! He goes to daycare 1x week and he naps there, 1 hour more or less.

My DH and MIL think he is too young to drop his last nap and i have to find a solution. Basically they told me i need to try harder. But honestly i cannot wait next to him for 2 hours in the dark every day while he is complaining he does not want to sleep.
Only way to make him fall asleep is driving around in the car.

At what age did your toddler drop the last nap? Do you think i should try harder?

OP posts:

emmathedilemma · 01/04/2022 14:34

I think by 3 is quite normal. Try some “quiet time” such as stories or TV instead of nap time so he’s got a chance to recharge a bit.

turnthebiglightoff · 01/04/2022 14:35

I think at 3 they're not really a toddler anymore. Not many 3 year olds nap, some do. If your son isn't going to sleep til 10, I'd drop the nap. Mine still has 30 mins here and there but generally is asleep by 7.30-8 latest.

IDontDrinkTea · 01/04/2022 14:37

I don’t know any three year olds that still nap. My dd is at nursery and none of the children in her room nap either

minionsrule · 01/04/2022 14:39

Mine dropped his nap at 2. He was in nursery and when he moved out the baby room he stopped napping.
I was gutted as I used to nap when he did

StripeyDeckchair · 01/04/2022 14:40

I think that if it's do important to your DH & MIL they your toddler has a nap they need to be there sorting it.

Otherwise they need to STFU & let you patent as works best for toddler & you.

For the record your DH should only be discussing this with you & not getting his mother involved.

RandomQuest · 01/04/2022 14:40

He definitely sounds ready to drop it! My DD dropped hers at 3 years 3 months because pre school didn’t nap, and that’s actually the latest I’ve heard of amongst the other toddlers I know.

Duracellbunnywannabe · 01/04/2022 14:40

Both girls not long after two, certainly by three very few preschoolers are napping.

It normally takes 2 weeks to adjust to no nap and he may need an earlier bedtime.

EV117 · 01/04/2022 14:40

A three year old is not a toddler. Plenty drop their naps much earlier, even by the age of 2. I think certainly by the age of 2 if they don’t want to nap they don’t need a nap. Making a three year old nap if he’s not tired is ridiculous. There may be some overtiredness initially but that quickly settles with a slightly longer sleep at night. You’re DH doesn’t seem to know what he’s talking about. I don’t see what your MIL has to do with it.

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 01/04/2022 14:40

My just-turned-3-YO naps 4 times per week, not every day, only at nursery (he refuses at home), and we ask the ladies at nursery to wake him up after 45-60 minutes.

We’ve been doing this since he was 2.5, because he was also taking ages to settle for nap and at bedtime. They told me this was a very normal time to start transitioning away from naps, though not all kids are ready to drop them altogether.

Duracellbunnywannabe · 01/04/2022 14:40

Or if he is currently going to bed at 10 a much earlier bedtime.

Repetitivebeats · 01/04/2022 14:41

You can't force him to go to sleep! I think at 3, it's fairly normal to only nap on the odd occasion, like when they're poorly, or in the car, or have had a few late nights, rather than still needing a daily nap.
Some quiet time after lunch is a good idea if you can manage it. Try putting him to bed with an audio book

Original poster

marykitty · 01/04/2022 14:41

Asking friends it is 50-50, few napped until 4 but many dropped the last nap at 3yo. I was feeling ok about it until today, when i was lectured by DH and MIL about how bad it is for him and how is it impossible he is dropping a nap so early.
Now i feel like i am not trying hard enough.

OP posts:

20viona · 01/04/2022 14:41

Most 3 year olds have dropped their nap on an everyday basis.

PAFMO · 01/04/2022 14:43

Mine was about 2.
By the time she was 3, on the odd occasion she'd still nap but rarely.
My friend insisted on hers napping till the child was about 5 and then wondered why they were still awake at 1am!

Obelisk · 01/04/2022 14:43

My DS dropped his at just over 2. Agree that it can still be helpful to have quiet time even if not sleeping- read a story or quiet play, stick some gentle music on etc.

Your DH and MIL sound like a chamless pair.

aSofaNearYou · 01/04/2022 14:44

People like your own MIL are just talking about their own experiences with their kids as if it's fact. It's perfectly normal for a 3 year old not to nap. My DD is 3 and it's been so long since she last napped I can't quite remember when she stopped but I'm pretty sure it was before she was 2. She's fine.

Oizys · 01/04/2022 14:46

all 3 of my kids dropped their naps by 2. I was heartbroken. Instead we have an hour or two of quiet play / reading as a bit of a chill time.

All kids are different tho some need to nap until they’re older but a 10pm bed time would be too much for me! It’s not up to your MIL and your DH should be supporting you.

AreWeThereYetMummy · 01/04/2022 14:50

One of mine napped until 2, the other stopped napping at 10-11 months!! (He still doesn't need much sleep!)

Hugasauras · 01/04/2022 14:51

DD dropped hers just before 2, so I think you've done pretty well to get this far!

MarthanotMarfa · 01/04/2022 14:53

No nap here from 2. But quiet hour after lunch in darker more calm conditions. You don’t have a toddler anymore!

Bakingwithmyboys · 01/04/2022 14:54

Pretty sure both mine stopped consistently napping around 2.5/3. My now 3.5 yr old will sometimes drop off on the afternoon school pick up if he goes with Grandma in the car but that's not every day.
If they were tired enough they would nap.
Absolutely not damaging at this age at all.

bluesky45 · 01/04/2022 14:56

My almost 3 year old naps I'd say 5 or 6 days a week but when he doesn't, it isn't a massive issue, we just do bed time a little earlier. Lots his age have dropped naps already. If we stay home all day, he doesn't usually need one, if we are busy in the morning then he does. If we are in the car longer than 15mins after about 2pm, he will probably fall asleep. I'm at the stage now where I don't worry too much about it, if it happens, great. When it doesn't, never mind, I'll get more of an evening!

ellenpartridge · 01/04/2022 14:59

Are you in the US? I've noticed there seems to be more expectations of older kids still napping there. In the UK I think it's quite rare for a 3 year old to nap and almost unheard of at 4.

Mine stopped napping by 2.5.

In your shoes I would 100% drop the nap.

Squashfordinner · 01/04/2022 15:02

You don't have a nap problem, you have a DH /MIL problem..'try harder', so what is DH doing in all this?

Cirelle · 01/04/2022 15:03

Mine also stopped napping by 2.5. It’s a rare and lucky parent who still gets a nap time break at 3 years old!

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