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Original poster

To let my toddler (3yo next month) skip his nap

110 replies

marykitty · 01/04/2022 14:32

My toddler will be 3yo next month.
Since circa 1 month he is fighting his nap. I tried everything because i really want him to nap but he just does not want to sleep.

He becomes overtired right before sleep time though. But if he naps, he is then awake until 10PM! He goes to daycare 1x week and he naps there, 1 hour more or less.

My DH and MIL think he is too young to drop his last nap and i have to find a solution. Basically they told me i need to try harder. But honestly i cannot wait next to him for 2 hours in the dark every day while he is complaining he does not want to sleep.
Only way to make him fall asleep is driving around in the car.

At what age did your toddler drop the last nap? Do you think i should try harder?

OP posts:
Original poster
marykitty · 01/04/2022 16:55

Thank you everyone. Sorry, it has been a difficult day. It was my first day back at work after DD2 maternity leave, and MIL and DH were with the kids. and when i opened the door (already emotionally unstable because i was receiving updates that DD2 was crying a lot) i was sort of immediatelly lectured because DS1 refused to nap and said that "mum let me play instead of sleeping. which is basically true, we do quiet time.

I am happy to see that i am not crazy to think he can skip the nap if he is fighting it.

And yes, i am not in the UK. Here daycare offers nap until 4yo.

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 01/04/2022 16:56

You can't make him sleep. Let him fall asleep when he needs sleep, he'll let you know if he's tired. Surely there are no hard and fast rules about this sort of thing and children vary in their needs, same as adults.

lanthanum · 01/04/2022 17:14

Mine was down to one nap a week by about 27 months, and she only really slept in her buggy on a bus. If we hadn't been anywhere by Friday, I'd end up getting the bus to the next village and back purely to get her off to sleep, because she did need that one nap. Then she had chickenpox, we couldn't go on the bus, and that was the end of that.

Sure, some kids nap until they're older (my godson was still napping the September he started school, but managed to cope when full days started), but they're all different.

Youdoyoutoday · 01/04/2022 17:18

@Squashfordinner

You don't have a nap problem, you have a DH /MIL problem..'try harder', so what is DH doing in all this?
So this!
VeryMuchFlaggingMinty · 01/04/2022 17:21

3 is fine to drop a nap.

From DD was about 2/2.5 we used to have half an hour of quiet time in the afternoon...cuddle on the sofa, milk and a biscuit and Peppa Pig.

If she nodded off I let her nap for a bit, if she didn't she'd still had a bit of a recharge.

Really miss those afternoons now she's 17 Grin!

GreenOrangePear · 01/04/2022 17:23

My son stopped his about 2 and a half too- although some days he is more tired and has one. Daycare is probably more tiring for him than home which is why he naps there.
I'd follow your child's lead.

Shazzatastic · 01/04/2022 17:28

Honestly, my daughter never ever napped, barring two days. She only slept about 6 hours through the night also. She's 26 now and could sleep for England. I'm 60 but look 80 because of it 😂

devildeepbluesea · 01/04/2022 17:29

Getting to 3 is impressive! DD was 2y3months. And she loved her sleep (still does).

Definitely time to drop it.

Iwannerbeyourslave · 01/04/2022 17:33

My daughter stopped napping just after her second birthday. I was relieved as she fought every nap and I had a constant battle. I got lucky as she then started sleeping longer at night, so it evened out.

Crimesean · 01/04/2022 17:45

My 4.5 year old will still nap given the chance - I don't know any other children his age that nap though.

If he's allowed to nap he faffs about at bedtime a lot, even when we adjust it to take his nap into account, so we don't let him nap unless he's very tired/grumpy.

RedWingBoots · 01/04/2022 17:48

My 3 year old started dropping her nap at 2 years old. She was having too much fun with one of the slightly older children at the CM's. Within 3 months the only person who could put her down for a nap was my DP, her dad, and after another 6 months he stopped bothering.

Just means when she is put to bed at night she is more likely to sleep through.

Original poster
marykitty · 01/04/2022 17:57

Yes, he is going to sleep earlier, falls asleep within 15 minutes, and sleeps through the night when he is not napping.

When he naps, he is then fighting sleep time and he is wide awake until 10 or 11PM plus always waking up at night.

Not sure why we want to push him to nap. I loved my nap time coffee - and my DH as well - we just need to accept he entered a new phase.

OP posts:
feliciabirthgiver · 01/04/2022 18:03

Go with your gut OP no one is a better mother to your child than you are so have faith in going with your instinct.

RedWingBoots · 01/04/2022 18:25

Not sure why we want to push him to nap. I loved my nap time coffee - and my DH as well - we just need to accept he entered a new phase.

When you realise you can watch an "adult" programme or do whatever boring mundane thing you want to do without interruption it is initially a shock.

BingBangB0ng · 01/04/2022 18:34

My 2 yr 8 month old dropped her nap a few months ago. She now sleeps 7-7 instead of being awake until 10pm (even a half hour nap causes these issues) and gets more hours of sleep per day overall.

Strokethefurrywall · 01/04/2022 18:43

DS1 was hell to drop his nap. If he didn't sleep he was a rat bag, if he napped for even 5 mins he would be awake until 10pm.

It took us a really long time to try and phase them out and was a real battle as I remember.

I think I let him drop it and then moved bedtime to 6pm for a few weeks and then gradually moved it later by 10-15 mins each week or so.

3 years is a perfectly acceptable age to drop naps, DS2 did around 2!

YessicaHaircut · 01/04/2022 18:55

Sounds very similar to our DS who is 21 months. He hasn’t reliably napped since around 18 months - if we’ve had a busy morning and are walking home or on the bus with him in his pram he will often nod off. But if we’re just at home he never wants to nap so we just let him get on with it. We have some nice chilled time in the afternoon with a bit of music on just playing calmly or cuddling up with a book. Since he’s dropped the nap he sleeps so much better at night (often sleeps through for 11-12 hours) and falls asleep fairly quickly and easily at bedtime. I miss the days when he used to have a long nap but it’s definitely better now we all get a decent night’s sleep!

LBFseBrom · 01/04/2022 19:21

@marykitty

Yes, he is going to sleep earlier, falls asleep within 15 minutes, and sleeps through the night when he is not napping.

When he naps, he is then fighting sleep time and he is wide awake until 10 or 11PM plus always waking up at night.

Not sure why we want to push him to nap. I loved my nap time coffee - and my DH as well - we just need to accept he entered a new phase.

I don't see why you can't have a cup of coffee with your child awake. At three he is old enough to become engrossed with things, playing on the floor with toys or whatever.

It isn't you who is dropping the nap, it's him and you can't force him.

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/04/2022 19:52

My 3yr still napped snd did 12hrs at night

Friends hated me 😂

But if they are struggling to sleep at night or not falling asleep till ten the. Obv the nap needs to go

twinmum2007 · 01/04/2022 20:06

My twins were 3.5 before they dropped theirs fully. On the 3 days they were at nursery they dropped them when they went into the preschool room (they had just turned 3,), but the days they were at home they still had a nap. They didn't always sleep for the whole 90mins but were always in bed, chatting, playing quietly or dozing if not asleep. I think the main difference is that this was a morning nap, not after lunch. So they were always ready for bed & sleepy by bedtime at 7.

Ihaveoflate · 01/04/2022 20:20

It must be a cultural thing, but I think the majority of parents in the UK prioritise an early bedtime (7pm) over clinging on to the midday nap. I don't know any 3 year old who still naps.

We started phasing the nap out at around 2 years and dropped altogether by 2.5 because I value my evenings too highly for any nonsense at bedtime!

Whatever00 · 01/04/2022 20:37

@wtfwasthatmate

My two year old still naps 2-3 hours. Is that not normal?! Now I'm worried!!
Don't worry. They are all different. Enjoy it while it lasts.
AliTheMinx · 01/04/2022 20:44

My son dropped his nap at just over 2 and we didn't pay for it with a terrible witching hour near bedtime. He was just ready to drop it and fine with it. Nursery kept trying to put him down on the sleep mats with the other children after lunch and he'd lie there singing and chattering, so they gave up after a week or so. He's 10 now, and still doesn't need much sleep and functions perfectly.

winterchills · 01/04/2022 20:47

I used to work in various different nurseries and none of the 3 years olds napped! Unless they were poorly!

Lilapixie · 01/04/2022 20:51

DC one was napping until the age of 5. At 6 years he still had the odd nap in the car.
DC dropped her nap at 20months.