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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend has covid so I'm sleeping in a different room...aibu?

107 replies

wetlastfoor · 01/04/2022 08:46

My boyfriend tested positive for covid Monday and isn't well at all
Temperature/coughing /aches/weak etc (usual symptoms )
So I decided to sleep in the spare room to try not catch it.
He's coughing all over the shop,never covers his mouth.
So I've been cleaning down doors /toilets etc etc to hopefully kill the germs.
Anyway he says I'm being neurotic because 1.I won't kiss him and 2 won't share a bed.
I mean maybe I am being ott but I really don't want to catch it.
He never listens,I bought him anti bac when it all started he refused to use it or wash his hands ..saying I'm stupid blah blah.

Aibu ?
He says I'm gonna catch it anyway
I'm testing daily and lateral flows negative and so far no symptoms and feel fine.
Am I being horrible to him?
He said he feels awful I'm avoiding him like this

OP posts:
LittleGwyneth · 01/04/2022 12:02

I think your measures are fruitless, but he's ben a dick not to be considerate about it.

nwatty · 01/04/2022 12:18

He is an arse. My son had it a few weeks back. My husband went out to his work every day as I was working from home anyway so had limited contact with son whilst he was positive, although did still give kisses and cuddles in evening as he is only 7. I then got it a few days later, had the house to myself all day then once son in bed I spent my evenings in our bedroom and my husband stayed downstairs then slept in bottom bunk of sons bed. Husband avoided getting it. So no you wont get it anyway if you are careful and limit contact.

stormswiftlysweetafton · 01/04/2022 12:27

I'd be brutally honest. You don't want his germs, whether they're COVID or the common cold! I'd expect you're likely to catch it anyway, living in the same house, but of course you don't want to be ill, no matter what contagious illness he might have. His attitude would annoy me.

Scarlettpixie · 01/04/2022 13:10

Calling you neurotic and stupid is hardly going to make you want to kiss him or share a bed with him is it. He sounds like a bit of a twat. Yanbu.

dementedpixie · 01/04/2022 13:13

I shared a bed with dh when he had covid. Never caught it and neither did our 2 children.

BerkshireMumXXX · 01/04/2022 16:40

Triple vaxxed DH caught covid last week - symptoms Friday - and tested positive on saturday morning. Since then he's been in isolation and none of the rest of the family have caught it. Very dull for him but he felt pretty unwell and really shattered for the first three days so was happy to stay in bed. Now he's feeling quite a bit better, and has been working from a desk in his room. We've delivered meals, tea/coffee, water, medicine to his door and left it outside (on a little stool, which has been a great reminder to me not to go in!). It's not inevitable that we will all get covid, and if we've managed to avoid it for a bit longer, that's great - particularly when the risk of long covid is still high. I'm really grateful to DH for isolating himself for all our sakes.

Original poster
wetlastfoor · 02/04/2022 08:36

It's the fact he is walking around coughing into the air without covering his mouth.
I'm stood in the kitchen making a cup of tea and he walks in coughing not covering his mouth.
It's just basic manners

OP posts:
Fraaahnces · 02/04/2022 08:39

I’d be sleeping in a different house if he can’t be considerate enough to attempt to be hygienic. What a selfish prick. Is he trying to infect you deliberately? (Hope he’s not one of those dicks that thinks you can only get it once. A friend of mine is currently on her fourth (and worst so far) round.)

ISmellBurnings · 02/04/2022 08:39

The not coughing or washing hands just makes him a twat.

I didn’t catch it from my children and they were definitely breathing in my face!

Frazzled2207 · 02/04/2022 08:49

Yanbu his attitude stinks.
I continued to sleep alongside my husband when he had covid figuring out I’d probably already caught it off him (as it turned out I hadn’t). But actually I would have seen sleeping in the spare room as helpful to him as he could have rested without risk of being disturbed by my snoring.

He doesn’t sound very nice OP.

JustLyra · 02/04/2022 08:58

@wetlastfoor

It's the fact he is walking around coughing into the air without covering his mouth. I'm stood in the kitchen making a cup of tea and he walks in coughing not covering his mouth. It's just basic manners
That would be a relationship ender for me.

It’s disgusting and it’s disrespectful.

Some people have got ridiculous over covid with thr “well everyone is going to get it”. Whilst that may be the case it’s not a fucking race. I wouldn’t insist on kissing and hugging people when I had flu, Noro, chicken pox or any other contagious illness so why it’s suddenly acceptable with covid I have no idea.

He’s being a prick. And he’s showing you who he is.

SpringRainbow · 02/04/2022 09:19

Regardless of whether he has Covid, cold, flu, tickle in his throat, he shouldn’t be openly coughing without attempting to cover his mouth.

This is basic manners you teach small children.

WonderingWanda · 02/04/2022 09:41

YANBU I have covid now and am keeping out of the way of my family. They've all had it and no one was terribly unwell but no one wants it again. I've been coughing lots too and even if it wasn't covid we'd be sleeping in different rooms, same with other illness like d&v. It just makes sense.

Figgygal · 02/04/2022 09:44

He sounds bloody horrible generally op

Indicatrice · 02/04/2022 10:33

YANBU, I caught Covid from DH because he had it and we share a bed, room etc.

Your boyfriend sounds like a whinging twit. Ignore him and on’t run around after him either.

Tainging99 · 02/04/2022 10:35

If you want to minimise the risk he should respect that. I personally think it’s hard to avoid at the moment as it seems to be everywhere, so I wouldn’t bother, but it’s totally an individuals choice and balance of risks

balalake · 02/04/2022 10:37

When you mentioned not covering his mouth when coughing, I immediately agreed with you.

You deserve better and I would not blame you for ending the relationship.

DalarnaHorses · 02/04/2022 10:39

He's a dick and is being rank, why would you want to kiss him and why doesnt he cover his mouth when coughing -> not envyEnvy

I've recently tested positive (for 14 long days!). I slept on the sofa, used a mask to walk round the house, anti-bacced (although not obsessively) and I managed not to infect my DH. It's not inevitable.

arethereanyleftatall · 02/04/2022 10:40

I would end a relationship over this, assuming it's logistically possible. Gross. It's really rather pleasant being single.

gamerchick · 02/04/2022 10:41

He sounds like a disrespectful prick in general OP. Tell him it's his attitude that is making you swerve him and he needs to knock it off or go stay somewhere else.

HomeHomeInTheRange · 02/04/2022 10:42

YANBU.

He is being horrible. It's not just inconsiderate, it sounds like a form of control, and he has no respect for your feelings on the matter. 'My house I will cough where I like. My GF I will infect her if I choose'.

If he actually cared he would be making sure he wore a mask in the house, stayed out of rooms you are in, was scrupulous with hand washing etc. Hardly a hardship.

He is a knob and I would be re-evaluating.

HomeHomeInTheRange · 02/04/2022 10:45

DH had it.

I slept in the spare room, left food for him outside the bedroom, he let us know when he needed to come out and we steered clear, opened windows when possible, used wipes on taps and light switches and door handles.

DC and I did not catch it.

gogohm · 02/04/2022 10:49

I didn't, I didn't catch covid either, I presume I either had it first without realising or am fully immune

Buildingthefuture · 02/04/2022 11:09

When I got covid, my husband didn’t isolate from me, neither of us were that bothered, and he didn’t get it. Fast forward a couple of months to now, and DH now has it, and I’m not isolating from him either and I haven’t got it (yet) But the point is, we both agreed on not isolating from each other. You have asked your boyfriend to isolate and he should respect that. Plus. Coughing without covering your mouth for whatever reason is just grim!