My husband said he'll do the washing - but AIBU asking him to separate colours as he won't

[HacketteofHacks]

So my husband offers to do the washing. I ask him - can you please make sure anything white or light coloured goes in a separate wash.
He says “if you want me to do the washing I’m doing the washing I’ll do it my way.”
I say: “Just that once my white t shirts and Izzy’s are washed with black or dark colours they never go quite as white.”
My husband tells me: ”That’s not true they will be fine.”
I say no they won’t. I’ve had loads of bright white things stay that way for years because I separate them.
This is why women end up doing the housework isn’t it? Men are deliberately obtuse so us ladies give in..
My lovely white t shirts were stuffed with dark trousers and underwear and we've fallen out because I took them out of the washing machine.
AIBU I've looked after my clothes for years Luke this

He’s a dick, everyone knows you separate your darks from your whites and coloured clothes.

He is making sure the laundry is not his regular chore.

He is deliberately being obstructive.

It's not really about 'preference' I want to maintain clothes and not have to buy new ones.
DH does have a different attitude to things - he's much more throwaway than me. For example I wanted to keep my bike indoors - I bought it three years ago. DH I dusted it was kept outside and it's got rust on it - I'm really unhappy about this. His electric bike - worth £900 has also been kept outside - it's not as rusty.
His parents - though careful with money - didn't really look after their stuff well either. All his dads tools were rusty.
My dad and mum are obsessive about keeping things nice (and neither of them came from poor families).
Maybe this us a fundamental thing

I don't separate. If DH wants it doing a different way he can do it himself.

Where did you want to keep your bike though because I'm so sick of my husband's bike taking up space in out office!

In this scenario why didnt you just separate out your whites and let him get on with the rest? He told you what would happen. Not that I dont think he wasn't being a dick because its hardly a massive or complex job to separate out by colour if that's how you wanted it done.

Ask him if he is fucking serious? Is he actually saying he will do the washing but he will only do it in a way that ruins your pales and whites? Is that supposed to be helpful or is it just to make you shut up

You can get bike covers/shelters - not that you were asking about that! But I’d not want bikes in my house unless it was an integral garage. I’d look for a weatherproof outdoor solution.

It probably is a fundamental thing, but the solution is to change your behaviour where it doesn’t matter, and look for solutions where it does matter.

It's weaponised incompetence.

However he's welcome to fuck his own clothes up. I've stopped doing DC1's washing and just having one person fewer's washing is a lot easier.

This is why women end up doing the housework isn’t it? Men are deliberately obtuse so us ladies give in..

No. This is why YOU end up doing the housework.

My husband does the laundry. I don’t get involved but we do separate the dirty clothes in different hampers (darks/whites/delicates).

Omg my husband and I had this discussion in front of my mil not long ago. She told me I hadn't taught him well enough. I told her that was her bloody job!

I'd go the strategic incompetence route too. Two people can play at that game.

We’ve hit a split laundry basket so darks on one side, whites and delicates on other.

But perhaps a dinner made of food he doesn’t like but you do could make the point. “If you want me to do the cooking, I’m doing the cooking my way.”

I do my washing and he has to do his, easy then

I’d just do my own tbh. Let him ruin his own clothes. I’m glad I live on my own.

This gives me the absolute rage.

Can't he do his own washing? We've always just done our own, no reason why you should do his.

I used to separate out whites and colours, DP didn't, and over the years I've come round to his way of thinking (and I'm the one who does the laundry). Any really nice white clothes I hold back for occasional white-only washes but for most of them it doesn't matter. DP's white work shirts are still acceptable after years of being shoved in with black jeans, black running tops etc.

The person who does the job gets to decide how it's done imo - DP and I know not to tread on each other's toes when it comes to the other person's chores even if we think their method is mad. If there are any white clothes you really want to keep pristine hold them back, that shouldn't be hard.

I mostly don't separate out whites because there simply isn't enough for a separate wash but I presoak whites with an enzyme cleaner or bleach. Which won't help your dilemma as it still requires separating laundry. I'd second pp on colour coordinated laundry bags or just keep your own special stuff back.

Just use separate baskets so much less stress my dh does washing and waahes all from 1 basket then the other and his idea tbh as I just chuck it all in together life if too short

DH separates darks and lights, puts wooljumpers on the handwash setting, adds the right amount of softener, and hangs clothing out in a way that minimises ironing. Because he's an adult and I'm not the unpaid help.

People who mix colours and think their whites are fine are wrong. They always look dingy.

Seperate your clothes, but insist he does his bloody own. He’s being a nob.

My OH does washing, but knows not to put whites, delicates and woolens in with the main wash, that works OK. I’d rather do it myself than have a man doing it badly.

I don't separate the washing. Never have never will. My husband would be tempted to. But I do the washing so i do it my way.
If you have clothes you are particularly attached to and particularly fragile just keep them separate.

My husband tells me 'That's not true, it will be fine'

Yes, OP, - you may be speaking from experience gained from hundreds, if not thousands, of machine washes, but, rest assured, the big, strong, clever man just knows best because . . . well, he just does.

I've never separated whites from other stuff and they still come out brilliant white.