To dress DD(2) in white-ish dress for wedding?

[KarenOLantern]

We're going to a wedding later this year. We were given a lovely handmade dress for our 2 year-old DD as a gift but still haven't had an opportunity to wear it so I was thinking she could wear it to this wedding but I'm unsure if it's "too" white". It's a white background, but with bright multicoloured floral and leaf prints on it, very similar to this one.

My MIL insists it's absolutely fine as 1. it's not completely white and the brighter colours dominate, and 2. the "no white" rule doesn't count for little kids anyway because they're hardly going to be mistaken for the bride. But I just wanted to see if others agree.

I'm keen to use it if I can because money's pretty tight at the mo so can't afford to buy a new dress, although obvs if people do think it's a massive no-no then we'll just have to think of something.

(I've never actually met the bride so I can't really ask her.)

I think its absolutely fine! She is a little girl of 2 ,no one will think shes trying to out shine the Bride .Its a lovely dress just perfect for such an occasion .

It’s fine

@DappledThings

So what if the mother had wanted that and was trying to make some kind of a point?

Jane is told 'no, your kinds can't be bridesmaids' but dresses them as bridesmaids.

So what?

It's the disrespect.

Someone else's wedding is not the place to 'make a point'

OPs dress is fine. Even if the bridesmaids are dressed like that, it would be a coincidence as they are not standard dresses.

If there are still a few weeks to go, op can send a picture of the dress asking if it is ok with the bride.(If it's in the next few days, and the bride is juggling work, final arrangements, the question will be annoying.)

Jane is told 'no, your kinds can't be bridesmaids' but dresses them as bridesmaids.

If Jane went out and found the exact same dress, shoes, jewellery etc as the bridesmaids I’d think wtf that’s a bit of odd behaviour. But if she’s just got her daughters in pink formal dresses I genuinely couldn’t get het up about that. They won’t be mistaken as bridesmaids by the bride or bridal party and to be honest nobody else cares who your bridesmaids are.

It's the disrespect.

Someone else's wedding is not the place to 'make a point'
Sure. But it still doesn't matter. Whether a child is dressed vaguely like a bridesmaid intentionally, accidentally, or simply because it's a nice dress it is still totally ridiculous to give a shit about it whether you are the bride or not.

Jane is told 'no, your kinds can't be bridesmaids' but dresses them as bridesmaids.
Then Jane ends up looking a little odd. That's the only outcome. Anyone who feels "disrespected" by that is choosing to be silly.

I really don't get the whole "no one must wear white" thing at a wedding. Who cares? It's not like people will be confused about who the bride is if one of the guests happens to be in a white dress. Load of baloney.

@garlictwist

I really don't get the whole "no one must wear white" thing at a wedding. Who cares? It's not like people will be confused about who the bride is if one of the guests happens to be in a white dress. Load of baloney.

Me either. My MIL wore a cream jacket and matching top underneath with a cream and pink floral skirt.

She looked beautiful.

I would’ve thought people had gone mad if they started sending me pics to check their dress was ok…

Fine. My only issue with white is likelihood of stains which a good pattern hides...

That looks perfect I wouldn’t think twice.

@Merryoldgoat

I would’ve thought people had gone mad if they started sending me pics to check their dress was ok…

Same!

One of my friend's messaged me to ask if it was ok if his husband wore chino type trousers and a linen jacket rather than a standard suit. I guess it was nice he asked but I really couldn't care at all.

My husband’s friend’s daughter, aged 6, wore a white/Ivory bridesmaid type dress to my wedding. She wasn’t a bridesmaid but I thought she looked lovely and as she made friends with the little girls who were my bridesmaids I asked her to help them give out cake at the evening reception.

I would say no one reasonable would care what a small child wore to a wedding, especially if their parent has made an effort to dress them smartly.

@garlictwist

I really don't get the whole "no one must wear white" thing at a wedding. Who cares? It's not like people will be confused about who the bride is if one of the guests happens to be in a white dress. Load of baloney.

Exactly. Unless it’s aunt Sarah in Derry girls arriving in a wedding dress three seconds before the bride walked in I don’t think anyone will confuse auntie Joanne sitting three rows back in a cream dress knee length with the lady in a wedding dress walking down the aisle - the lady who everyone at the wedding knows is the bride because she’s the one who invited you all to her wedding. You’d have to be monumentally stupid to go ‘I know this is Emma’s wedding but is that woman who isn’t Emma the bride?’

It's gorgeous. Go for it!

Names changed obviously but easier with fake ones that confusing repeated "she"....

I have a friend, Jenny. Jenny has two sisters Clare and Jo and asked both to be bridesmaids. Clare said she didn't want to be bridesmaid but would like a chance to rewear her own wedding dress and did Jenny mind. Jenny said she did really but it was up to Clare. Clare did wear her own wedding dress to Jenny's wedding. It was modified with some shortening and some additional coloured netting. She only made herself look daft. Nobody actually thought she was the bride or thought anything other than eyerolling.

So even at pretty much the extreme of inappropriate wedding attire it really isn't worth the bride getting upset about it.

It's lovely.
My daughter at 3 wore a charity shop dress and borrowed cardigan to a wedding so you could get a back up outfit that way just in case.
I agree a bright pink cardigan with it would look good too.

That's a pretty dress and completely suitable for a wedding. :-)

Totally fine. It's a perfect little girl's summer dress.

Looks great and no problem at all. How about getting some wide satin ribbon and tying a sash of one of the predominant colours around her waist. That would reduce the amount of white on the outfit if you were still concerned.

Absolutely appropriate for a small child.

That's absolutely fine!!
It's not plain white and she's just a child, I will be extremely surprised if anyone bats an eyelid other than to compliment her 🤷🏻‍♀️

nokidshere
If you were happy about it that's fine, but it's not fine to dress your daughter in a typical bridesmaid's dress unless she has actually been asked to be a bridesmaid.

Any adult who is stressed about what a child wears to a wedding is batshit.
I don't think so! This happened to a friend of mine. People assumed the girls were bridesmaids when they weren't.

And? Did anyone die? Seems like weddings aren't the joyous occasions they should be. I cannot even remember what anyone wore to my wedding except me - I wore green. I can't imagine ringing all the guests and saying don't wear green in case they think you are me 🙄

Unless you’ve got a troop of children dressed identically and sent them down the aisle just before the bride, I don’t think anyone is mistaking them fit bridesmaids.

Or that it matters if someone mistakes a toddler for a bridesmaid.

Seriously, anyone getting upset about this crap seriously needs a grip.

I always find the ‘might mistake you for the bride’ thing a bit ridiculous. You don’t invite strangers to a wedding so they need to check who is dressed like a meringue to know who the bride is. 🤣