Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dress DD(2) in white-ish dress for wedding?

112 replies

KarenOLantern · 30/03/2022 09:43

We're going to a wedding later this year. We were given a lovely handmade dress for our 2 year-old DD as a gift but still haven't had an opportunity to wear it so I was thinking she could wear it to this wedding but I'm unsure if it's "too" white". It's a white background, but with bright multicoloured floral and leaf prints on it, very similar to this one.

My MIL insists it's absolutely fine as 1. it's not completely white and the brighter colours dominate, and 2. the "no white" rule doesn't count for little kids anyway because they're hardly going to be mistaken for the bride. But I just wanted to see if others agree.

I'm keen to use it if I can because money's pretty tight at the mo so can't afford to buy a new dress, although obvs if people do think it's a massive no-no then we'll just have to think of something.

(I've never actually met the bride so I can't really ask her.)

OP posts:
Porkbuttsandtaters · 30/03/2022 12:57

Genuine question - why would it matter if I put my DD in a ‘bridesmaid type’ dress when she wasn’t an official one? The actual bridesmaids would be unlikely to take offence as that’s just not how children think, unless the dress was literally identical.
Just thinking it would make most little girls so happy to be given one of those frilly monsoon dresses to wear to a wedding so what’s the harm? I’m meaning small children here.

RiverRats · 30/03/2022 12:57

It’s beautiful definitely not an issue

DappledThings · 30/03/2022 12:57

@nokidshere

If you were happy about it that's fine, but it's not fine to dress your daughter in a typical bridesmaid's dress unless she has actually been asked to be a bridesmaid.

Any adult who is stressed about what a child wears to a wedding is batshit.

Quite.

It's a total non-issue, anyone who thinks a small child dressed in something that might just be construed as looking like a bridesmaid and actually gives a shit about that really needs to rethink their priorities.

skgnome · 30/03/2022 13:00

That’s absolutely fine
Yes there’s some white but the pattern is quite noticeable, it’s not even a flower girl dress, it’s a lovely dress and perfect for the occasion

RealRaymondReddington · 30/03/2022 13:01

It will be perfectly fine. My dd was wearing a blue dress on the way to a wedding aged 2, she was sick on the way and had to wear a white dress with bunnies on as a back up and the bride didn't mind at all. My advice is to take something spare just in case though!

Howareyouflower · 30/03/2022 13:04

The no white rule is so an adult won't be in competition with the bride. A small child is different. It wouldn't matter if it was a plain white dress!

EatSleepReplete · 30/03/2022 13:07

YANBU.

A plain white/cream/ivory dress is only unreasonable for women guests at a wedding as they could look like they are trying to look like the bride. If it's obviously a child it's fine.
Also, that's not a white dress. It's a bright, pretty floral pattern on a white background. TBH it would be acceptable for an adult guest to wear something similar to a wedding IMO.

Whatalovelydaffodil · 30/03/2022 13:11

@nokidshere

If you were happy about it that's fine, but it's not fine to dress your daughter in a typical bridesmaid's dress unless she has actually been asked to be a bridesmaid.

Any adult who is stressed about what a child wears to a wedding is batshit.

I don't think so! This happened to a friend of mine. People assumed the girls were bridesmaids when they weren't.
Clymene · 30/03/2022 13:12

That's so pretty!

Whatalovelydaffodil · 30/03/2022 13:13

@Porkbuttsandtaters

Genuine question - why would it matter if I put my DD in a ‘bridesmaid type’ dress when she wasn’t an official one? The actual bridesmaids would be unlikely to take offence as that’s just not how children think, unless the dress was literally identical. Just thinking it would make most little girls so happy to be given one of those frilly monsoon dresses to wear to a wedding so what’s the harm? I’m meaning small children here.
It upset the bride at the wedding I went to. I suspect the mother if the girls that were not bridesmaids but dressed like bridesmaids had wanted her girls to be bridesmaids.
DappledThings · 30/03/2022 13:17

It upset the bride at the wedding I went to. I suspect the mother if the girls that were not bridesmaids but dressed like bridesmaids had wanted her girls to be bridesmaids.
So what if the mother had wanted that and was trying to make some kind of a point? It's just not worth getting upset about and I would have advised your friend to chill out if I was there. It really is silly to be upset about a child's outfit.

Or anyone's outfit really. It was only last week we had the nonsense about wearing red being offensive.

Movemyshed · 30/03/2022 13:20

People assumed the girls were bridesmaids when they weren't

If they were little girls, so what?

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 30/03/2022 13:21

Pfft. Any bride who would actually be upset by tiny children looking a little bit as if they might be her bridesmaids is being a ridiculous knob.

ENoeuf · 30/03/2022 13:22

At our wedding any child who wanted a bridesmaid dress got one, plus a job to do. We roped them all in to hand out favours, issue napkins at the meal, give out gifts etc. it’s a cute dress.

ENoeuf · 30/03/2022 13:23

Oh we had a boy as well who wanted to be a helper.

GoFishandChips · 30/03/2022 13:25

Absolutely fine and doesn't look like a Flower Girl/Bridesmaid dress

Jammybadger · 30/03/2022 13:29

A white background with big colourful part teen would be fine for everyone. I do disagree with people saying white doesn’t matter for a 2 year old though… a plain white dress would make her look like you wanted her to be a flower girl

Kanaloa · 30/03/2022 13:30

@Movemyshed

People assumed the girls were bridesmaids when they weren't

If they were little girls, so what?

I thought this. What’s the absolute worst that could happen? Someone says ‘oh is Abby a bridesmaid?’ And you say ‘haha no just so happens her smart dress is the same colour as the bridesmaid ones!’ A bride who would genuinely take offence at a 2 year old’s (basically a baby) dress is clearly not enjoying her own wedding very much.

Regardless it’s just a pretty dress appropriate for a wedding.

Kanaloa · 30/03/2022 13:32

And also presuming op isn’t poking her daughter down the aisle after the bride it’s going to be pretty clear she’s not a bridesmaid. Although I couldn’t tell you who the bridesmaids were at the last wedding I was at. I don’t think anyone really cares enough to look around and try and guess who they are by which dress they’ve got on.

DappledThings · 30/03/2022 13:32

a plain white dress would make her look like you wanted her to be a flower girl
Again, so what? Why does that matter? I have no idea if anyone thought the child in white at my wedding was a bridesmaid or wanted to be one or whether nobody thought anything of it at all (as is most likely). I don't get why anyone would care.

Ozanj · 30/03/2022 13:33

She could wear a mini wedding dress and still nobody would care least of all the bride. Dress her how you want to.

IncompleteSenten · 30/03/2022 13:34

White on a small child is absolutely fine.

Wedonttalkaboutrats · 30/03/2022 13:34

Oh my word, she’s two! She can wear whatever she likes, fits and isn’t irredeemably stained. No one will bat an eyelid.

Aprilx · 30/03/2022 13:34

I am amazed you would even ask? Confused

IncompleteSenten · 30/03/2022 13:34

Well, apart from the fact it'll stay white for about 3 minutes of course 😁