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Original poster

Do you believe in 'soul mates'?

80 replies

SummerDays2020 · 29/03/2022 10:32

Influenced by The Wake Up on Headspace this morning.

Do you believe in 'soul mates'?

I don't know if anyone else feels this. But, I believed my ex-husband was my soul mate. I feel that my current partner is my soul mate. Perhaps, as my split from my ex-DH was amicable (although, very painful and still is a bit) and we are still good friends, I still see him as a soul mate. Not sure if that makes sense. But the time I was with him was very precious and our co-parenting relationship is still very important to me. We were together for 17 years. But my current DP I love so much and hope we are together for a very long time. Our relationship is equally precious to me.

OP posts:
GoIntoTheLight · 29/03/2022 10:35

No. Sounds like a Hallmark card and not really like life.

Traumdeuter · 29/03/2022 10:35

I believe we’re more suited to some people than others, but not in the idea of fate-appointed soul mates.

I also believe that love is a verb, and so in many cases if you nurture a romantic relationship well, it will result in a long-lasting deep contentment where the idea of the other person being in your life forever is as easy as breathing. But it’s not up to fate to decide.

Solosunrise · 29/03/2022 10:37

No, not really. I think we connect better with some people than others. Possibly based on early life, childhood wounds, stuff like that.
In my experience, people can often let people they perceive as soul mates treat them badly, because they feel the relationship is special.

Hbh17 · 29/03/2022 10:38

No. It is entirely random who we meet in life.

OverByYer · 29/03/2022 10:39

No. If it was true you would have one soul mate and you’ve had two already

SprayedWithDettol · 29/03/2022 10:41

No.

oldwhyno · 29/03/2022 10:42

I think it's just some people's way of describing a particularly close relationship. Not much more to it than that is there?

Original poster
SummerDays2020 · 29/03/2022 10:53

@oldwhyno

I think it's just some people's way of describing a particularly close relationship. Not much more to it than that is there?
Yes, I think it is that. I think when I was younger, I believed that could only happen once. But with more life experience, I see that it can happen more than once.
OP posts:
AhhhHereItGoes · 29/03/2022 10:54

No.

Some people fit us better then others but soul mates is fairytale stuff.

Gowithme · 29/03/2022 10:56

Well if you just mean 'two people ideally suited' then yes I believe in soul mates I guess (although I wouldn't call it that personally as it's a bit twee to me). If you mean it was destined to happen, written in the stars and your souls will be entwined in heaven forever - then no.

Libertaire · 29/03/2022 10:58

No. ‘Soul mates’ is vacuous nonsense. There are currently 7.9 billion people on this planet (source : Wikipedia). Of those, it is likely that an individual will meet a few thousand during the course of their lifetime, and most of those only fleetingly. The probability of someone meeting their pre-ordained ‘soul mate’ having only met 0.0000001% (or whatever) of humanity is obviously and inherently ridiculous.

I’m very happy with my DP. We have been together for 20+ years and I hope for many more, but (and this is no reflection on him) I can think of at least two other men with whom I could have had happy long-term relationships had we met at different times. Luck plays a massive part in meeting a partner.

Tim Minchin sums it up very well :

m.youtube.com/watch?v=UEyJnwPIr4Q

CornishGem1975 · 29/03/2022 10:59

Yes, I do. And I don't think there's anything wrong in believing that. Saying that I don't think everyone finds theirs, and it's not saying there's only one person for you. I don't believe that.

My DH is definitely my soulmate. We met when we were younger, went our separate ways and came back together. It's a completely different relationship from anything I've ever experienced. I loved my ex-DH but he was definitely not my soulmate.

Tonya345 · 29/03/2022 11:01

Not exactly 'soul mate,' which is a way of describing two people who are totally in love with each other.
Life's more complex than that, and the person who might have seemed to be a soulmate, can reveal their faults and idiosyncrasies later on.
In fact both parties often do.
Have a look at the relationship board - I presume all these people thought they had found their own soulmate at one time.

savethatkitty01 · 29/03/2022 11:02

God no. For me it falls into the "everything happens for a reason " crap.

Jojoanna · 29/03/2022 11:02

Nope ,, you just bond better with certain people

halvahalva · 29/03/2022 11:07

No, don't believe in it. I do believe that people can spend a lifetime together but it's through choice of both parties to opt into that view, not that a different combination couldn't have also worked in the same way.
I'm an all in person, and my partner is equally so, therefore we work. I don't think fate brought us together or that there's no-one else who could have been my husband. I think that kind of thinking doesn't help relationships in general

Goinghome20 · 29/03/2022 11:14

No. Tim minchin is right which is why its soo funny😂

Grenlei · 29/03/2022 11:19

No, it's total bollocks.

OneTC · 29/03/2022 11:19

I don't believe in anything preordained but in terms of 2 people being ideally matched on many levels (which is actually what it means) then yes I do believe in soulmates. I might not actually call them that but I have several, my OH and my closest friends. To me it means people that I'm so aligned with that meaningful disagreement is almost impossible

Shabtipup · 29/03/2022 11:27

Absolutely. Met him at 16 when we had our first job and started on the same day. It was an INSTANT and UNMISTAKABLE connection, we both noticed it. We were shy teenagers and trust me I've had a lot of crushes before/after that, but it really was something otherworldly the first time I saw him without even speaking to eachother. It was just an overwhelming feeling of "he's the one" and he also told me later on that he was instantly drawn to me too. We did not have a relationship at 16 because his lifestyle was challenging, (drugs, getting kicked out and made homeless etc) and this scared me off. But we remained friends and would check in every couple of years.
When I turned 24, I had a strong urge to contact him after a few years of not speaking. We hit it off massively and the chemistry was as strong as it always had been. He was now sober, in a great job, had his own place, life sorted. I left my ex of 5 years for him and now we are together. It feels "right." I have no doubt that he's my soulmate. Weird things happen often like we both say the same thing at the same time and immediately burst out laughing because "it happened again!" We're both just over the moon to have found eachother. I know this all sounds so ridiculous and sappy, but it's true. Soulmates are real and when you meet them it's an unmistakable feeling, you just know. Every cell in your body is saying to you "it's them."

DazzlingDarrenDring · 29/03/2022 11:51

It's absolute nonsense.

If you think you are with your ' soulmate' that's lovely, but you haven't , by an unbelievably random coincidence, found the most ideal person in the world for you.

Original poster
SummerDays2020 · 29/03/2022 12:07

[quote Libertaire]No. ‘Soul mates’ is vacuous nonsense. There are currently 7.9 billion people on this planet (source : Wikipedia). Of those, it is likely that an individual will meet a few thousand during the course of their lifetime, and most of those only fleetingly. The probability of someone meeting their pre-ordained ‘soul mate’ having only met 0.0000001% (or whatever) of humanity is obviously and inherently ridiculous.

I’m very happy with my DP. We have been together for 20+ years and I hope for many more, but (and this is no reflection on him) I can think of at least two other men with whom I could have had happy long-term relationships had we met at different times. Luck plays a massive part in meeting a partner.

Tim Minchin sums it up very well :

m.youtube.com/watch?v=UEyJnwPIr4Q[/quote]
Thank you for that. And yes, I suppose I feel the same. If my ex-DH hadn't become mentally unwell I would still be with him. I suppose it made me feel a bit disloyal to my current DP so I'm glad it is normal to feel like that!

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Original poster
SummerDays2020 · 29/03/2022 12:08

@CornishGem1975

Yes, I do. And I don't think there's anything wrong in believing that. Saying that I don't think everyone finds theirs, and it's not saying there's only one person for you. I don't believe that.

My DH is definitely my soulmate. We met when we were younger, went our separate ways and came back together. It's a completely different relationship from anything I've ever experienced. I loved my ex-DH but he was definitely not my soulmate.

I was starting to think everyone was cynical! I'm glad you are happy with your 'soul mate'.
OP posts:
Original poster
SummerDays2020 · 29/03/2022 12:10

@OneTC

I don't believe in anything preordained but in terms of 2 people being ideally matched on many levels (which is actually what it means) then yes I do believe in soulmates. I might not actually call them that but I have several, my OH and my closest friends. To me it means people that I'm so aligned with that meaningful disagreement is almost impossible
I like that definition. I think my 2 best friends would count as soul mates.
OP posts:
Original poster
SummerDays2020 · 29/03/2022 12:11

@Shabtipup

Absolutely. Met him at 16 when we had our first job and started on the same day. It was an INSTANT and UNMISTAKABLE connection, we both noticed it. We were shy teenagers and trust me I've had a lot of crushes before/after that, but it really was something otherworldly the first time I saw him without even speaking to eachother. It was just an overwhelming feeling of "he's the one" and he also told me later on that he was instantly drawn to me too. We did not have a relationship at 16 because his lifestyle was challenging, (drugs, getting kicked out and made homeless etc) and this scared me off. But we remained friends and would check in every couple of years. When I turned 24, I had a strong urge to contact him after a few years of not speaking. We hit it off massively and the chemistry was as strong as it always had been. He was now sober, in a great job, had his own place, life sorted. I left my ex of 5 years for him and now we are together. It feels "right." I have no doubt that he's my soulmate. Weird things happen often like we both say the same thing at the same time and immediately burst out laughing because "it happened again!" We're both just over the moon to have found eachother. I know this all sounds so ridiculous and sappy, but it's true. Soulmates are real and when you meet them it's an unmistakable feeling, you just know. Every cell in your body is saying to you "it's them."
Sounds lovely 😊
OP posts: