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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you believe in 'soul mates'?

80 replies

SummerDays2020 · 29/03/2022 10:32

Influenced by The Wake Up on Headspace this morning.

Do you believe in 'soul mates'?

I don't know if anyone else feels this. But, I believed my ex-husband was my soul mate. I feel that my current partner is my soul mate. Perhaps, as my split from my ex-DH was amicable (although, very painful and still is a bit) and we are still good friends, I still see him as a soul mate. Not sure if that makes sense. But the time I was with him was very precious and our co-parenting relationship is still very important to me. We were together for 17 years. But my current DP I love so much and hope we are together for a very long time. Our relationship is equally precious to me.

OP posts:
SummerDays2020 · 29/03/2022 16:37

@incognitoforthisone

Well ... I think it depends how you define 'soul-mate'.

I definitely think DP is my 'soul-mate' in the sense that we completely understand each other and have a connection and an affinity that neither of us have ever had with anyone else.There is nobody in the world I'd rather spend time with.

But I don't believe that were 'destined to meet' or anything like that - it's pure luck. And if we hadn't met, there's nothing to say we wouldn't both have met other people and been happy with them too.

That was kind of the meaning of 'soul mate' I was thinking of when I wrote the OP, rather than something to do with fate.
OP posts:
SummerDays2020 · 29/03/2022 16:40

@WoolyMammoth55

Hi OP, I'm a woo-woo spiritual nutter :) and I believe we have souls that are Divine and immortal. I believe in reincarnation and that we have many lifetimes before moksha (translated as "liberation") when we become part of the One-ness and stop reincarnating.

I actually believe in Soul Family - that there are people whose souls are linked to ours and we will meet them and love them in multiple lifetimes. I feel this way about my platonic best friend, and some other close friends, and about my children and (some of!) my siblings. I feel this way about my mum who passed away; I believe her soul is with me often.

I also feel it about my DH. It's very comforting and it helps me to connect to 'big picture' thinking when I get the niggles about the small stuff :)

Obviously I realise loads of people think this is irrational nonsense/ stupidity/ whatever. It's just what I believe. It's not like it can be proven either way! But it makes me very happy and I LOVE getting the Soul Family feeling when you meet someone you've never met before and your soul just goes "OH HELLO AGAIN!" :)

That's great. Thanks for explaining all that! We needed a bit more woo to balance the thread!Grin
OP posts:
SummerDays2020 · 29/03/2022 16:41

@WoolyMammoth55 - so, could my ex-DH and DP both be parts if my soul family?

OP posts:
SummerDays2020 · 29/03/2022 16:43

@Maddiemademe

I didn’t until I met mine. It was like I knew her my whole life. Speak at the same time about the same things, have the same thoughts, and the energy between us after almost a decade is electric. Time literally flies by every day especially when alone. We never stop talking to the point of never watching tv shows properly because even though we work on our business together we still never run out of things to say. I often feel like we could have been together in a past life, or our energy is previously connected. Felt nothing like it before and no matter what people believe, I believe we were just meant to be. She completes me and I her.
Aw, that's sweet Smile
OP posts:
SummerDays2020 · 29/03/2022 16:44

@Babdoc

DH was and remains my soulmate, despite the fact that he died 30 years ago. I still love him and miss him, and have never remarried. He is irreplaceable. As a Christian, I hope that God will reunite us after my death.
Ah, I hope so x
OP posts:
SleepyRoo · 29/03/2022 16:45

Of course not. I'm not 14

SummerDays2020 · 29/03/2022 16:47

@User838960

I love what you've said OP. I've always felt a deep, protective, loving bond to my ex P even though I fell out of love with him and ended our relationship. I've never stopped reflecting on what an amazing partner he was and connection we had.

I love hearing you've found that again. I hope for the same!

I know 'soul mate' is a romanticist term to a lot of people. But I do believe we find our 'penguin' once or twice.

I'm glad it made sense to you. And I hope you find that special some one for this new phase of your life.
OP posts:
SummerDays2020 · 29/03/2022 16:49

@SleepyRoo

Of course not. I'm not 14
Funnily enough the person on the Wake Up that was most adamant they had a soul mate was a senior citizen!
OP posts:
RewildingAmbridge · 29/03/2022 16:51

I think so, simply because DH and I met on the devil bus when we were eleven, dozens of other children but we just clicked, we were friends immediately. After a brief dalliance at sixteen we didn't get together until we were 25. I dated other people even had a couple of serious relationships, I loved them but it wasn't the same, there wasn't that click of just being so utterly comfortable with someone, knowing what they're thinking, feeling, going to say without even thinking about it. We share the same humour, values, enjoy the same things in life (although we have some different hobbies and interests).
Could I have been happy with someone else, if life had turned out differently, of course, but it wouldn't be the same. I'm not sure about multiple soul mates though....

RiverRats · 29/03/2022 16:58

@WoolyMammoth55

Hi OP, I'm a woo-woo spiritual nutter :) and I believe we have souls that are Divine and immortal. I believe in reincarnation and that we have many lifetimes before moksha (translated as "liberation") when we become part of the One-ness and stop reincarnating.

I actually believe in Soul Family - that there are people whose souls are linked to ours and we will meet them and love them in multiple lifetimes. I feel this way about my platonic best friend, and some other close friends, and about my children and (some of!) my siblings. I feel this way about my mum who passed away; I believe her soul is with me often.

I also feel it about my DH. It's very comforting and it helps me to connect to 'big picture' thinking when I get the niggles about the small stuff :)

Obviously I realise loads of people think this is irrational nonsense/ stupidity/ whatever. It's just what I believe. It's not like it can be proven either way! But it makes me very happy and I LOVE getting the Soul Family feeling when you meet someone you've never met before and your soul just goes "OH HELLO AGAIN!" :)

I have similar beliefs and I feel this way about a lot of people. I remember meeting one of my male best friends and before we’d even spoke I just know I knew him before and I loved him. The same thing happened with DH, it’s almost as if I feel instantly safe and sort of like I’ve finally found someone again who I knew in a past life
ManonCrochan · 29/03/2022 17:01

I hope so. As a teenager I went through some awful abuse and phases that led to decisions on where I went to college. If I didn't go to THAT college I'd never have met my abusive EX. If I hadn't have met my ex, I'd never have met his friends. If I hadn't of met his friends, I'd never have been introduced to my now DH. He saved me from that awful, abusive relationship and made me realise what a healthy relationship should look like.

Fate? Soulmates? I dunno. But We've been together for 15 years and we are still madly in love with each other. I fancied him the moment I met him and still think the world of him today.

Couldn't imagine my life with anyone else.

willithappen · 29/03/2022 17:01

I believe you can have a soul mate and it be overwhelming love and passion and I also believe you can have partners you are in love with where it just works out better but they are not your soul mate

Dogknowsbest · 29/03/2022 17:02

I've always believed in love and that some people are made for each other and perfectly matched so I suppose it could be described as soul mates by some people. I think to call it soul mates puts a lot of pressure on a relationship.

Calandor · 29/03/2022 17:06

No. I believe that some people have a mix of certain genes, personalities, values etc that make them very very compatible. I also believe there are multiple people out there in the world with this high level of compatibility.

Just got to hope you meet one at the right time, right place etc. I don't think DP is my soul mate. I think we're extremely lucky to have met so young and have both been single and interested.

bloodywhitecat · 29/03/2022 17:10

Yes, absolutely. I met mine 5 years ago and have just lost him.

ikeepseeingit · 29/03/2022 17:15

I like to think of soul mates in the same way I do a ‘kindred spirit’. There may be many of them throughout my lifetime, and they don’t have to be romantic.

Calandor · 29/03/2022 17:27

@Calandor

No. I believe that some people have a mix of certain genes, personalities, values etc that make them very very compatible. I also believe there are multiple people out there in the world with this high level of compatibility.

Just got to hope you meet one at the right time, right place etc. I don't think DP is my soul mate. I think we're extremely lucky to have met so young and have both been single and interested.

By this I mean I don't think I have a soul mate not that specifically DP isn't mine 😂 If they did exist Is say he was mine obviously
gogohm · 29/03/2022 17:30

@SummerDays2020

I can relate completely. My ex will always be a good friend, in fact he's invited dp and I to stay (we politely refused) dp thinks of his ex fondly too though

stripeyflowers · 29/03/2022 17:31

I am genuinely on the fence.

I think if pushed for a definite - NO.

Motherdare · 29/03/2022 17:34

Most people marry people who live near them, work near them or go to the same pubs. It’d be quite coincidental for all these soul-mates to just happen to be waiting for each other be in the same place.

sweetbambi · 29/03/2022 17:38

I am very much torn about this but there has been so many coincidences in mine and fiancé's relationship that it is hard to not believe in them.

Quincunx · 29/03/2022 18:27

Yes I do. But not the fairytale happy ever after type. You are attracted to certain people to learn certain lessons, consciously or not. Soulmates can also be your nemesis, and you can meet several of them, good and bad, in a lifetime. If you feel like you have met a soulmate it is always about something going on with you, and how you deal with your own issues, that determines what will happen. Cue 27 pisstaking posts but that's my experience.

PermanentTemporary · 29/03/2022 18:37

Definitely not for me, but then I don't believe in souls and am quite shallow. I feel sad at the belief that you have only one person that can ever be right for you. I have a friend who was widowed 15 years ago and has never as far as i know looked at another man, and rather than admiring her devotion I just feel depressed at the thought. Humans are much more adaptable and flexible than that.

sweetbambi · 29/03/2022 22:12

@37PermanentTemporary while the rational side of me wants to agree with you I have heard of so many relationships that make me question what are the odds of that many coincidences happening. Even in my own relationship there have been so many coincidences that lead my current dp to be such a good match for me or "signs" that he is THE one it is hard to ignore

Thumpkin · 29/03/2022 22:25

I don’t believe in the (arguably) religious concept of souls, so no. I believe two people can find themselves highly compatible and able to understand each other. That is all, and it’s wonderful enough. The idea that we are incomplete souls and someone else’s soul completes us, or that mystical forces are entwining our souls into one, or one soul is out there in a sea of billions, no.