To think most teens are actually pretty fab?

[NeedAHoliday2021]

My dc are getting older (10-14) and I’m loving this age of independence, hanging out together and moments of real closeness. It’s not just them, their friends are lovely, friendly, polite. There’s moments of hormones but they support each other. I love watching them grow and have enjoyed every stage but everyone always tells me teens is where that stop and they’ll be a nightmare.

Am I alone in actually liking teens? Not just my own. Some teens are dicks but so are some adults. Most are nice though aren’t they? This is prompted by multiple Fb posts realising dc are going to secondary and parents are yearning for their babies back. I just don’t feel like that.

I agree, the only awful teen I have ever known, and I have known hundreds and have 13 nieces and nephews, is, I hate to say it, my 16 year old DSD. Rude, entitled, disrespectful to everyone, even her own mother and father. I hate hearing people say 'that's teenagers' when she's been like it since she was 8 years old. I wish I had the relationship with her some do on this thread with theirs.

My own are grown up now, but I really enjoyed them as teens. I much preferred dealing with teens to toddlers.

At work we regularly have teenagers from the local school with us for work experience. I can honestly say they have all, without exception, been wonderful young people. They learn a lot from us at work, but we learn a lot from them too and it's a pleasure to have them around.

So nice to read these positive comments,

Aww, lovely thread! I have two teens and they are fab. They can be thoughtful and sensitive; very entertaining company - especially with a few mates around when in full banter mode); still cheerfully join us on days out and holidays; ask our opinion but also challenge and bring their own thoughts and perspectives (usually in a respectful and adult way); introduce us to new fun stuff and ask us into their world (one of ds’s mates asked Dh if he wanted to come skateboarding with them a few weeks ago!).

They cuddle up on the sofa as well as if ignoring us in their rooms; they never leave the house without shouting ‘love you! Bye’. Even when they are cross with us they usually hug and apologise later. Or we do. They are brilliant emerging people and I love being around them

I also think they are underrated, and it annoys me when people assume all teenagers are awful. I think the earliest years of teens can be the worst of they're going to be like that (which is not guaranteed), and if you manage those they're usually lovely by mid teens.

But they're great to talk to and so funny and energetic.

@quickscribble Dd1 had colic and reflux so spent her first year screaming at us but from a year became a wonderful and amenable dc. Dtds were easy babies (as far as newborn twins go - they were prem and slept so that really helped). As toddlers they were hilariously funny but also threw massive full on tantrums so that only got easier age 4 (when they were at school). I think, age 10, the whining has finally stopped but I think that’s a 3 dc / 2 the same age thing. The attention seeking is much easier because we talk and I understand their different personalities, which we celebrate.

Like puppies, the cuteness balanced out their behaviour that at age 3 made me feel like a failure. I do have fond memories of toddler moments but perhaps the tantrums is why I love the older stage so much thinking about it.

Yes my DD14 is fab I love our conversations, her sense of humour and how caring and thoughtful she is, all of her friends are lovely to be around too, DD has been having sleepovers since she was 8 but then covid hit and they stopped for two years and she missed having them, she recently had a sleepover of ten 14 year olds though and i must say I think I enjoyed myself just as much as they did.

I’m enjoying mine too. They have been really helpful and looking after me as I’m down with bad Covid-19 since Friday and my husband is away. Mine are 18, 15 & 12

@Cecilia2016 sorry you’re feeling rubbish. Glad they’re looking after you though!

Yanbu!

I hate the kids nowadays thing. Yes some are dicks but mostly they're great & often overlooked by adults.

It's still intimidating when going through a crowd but it's not their fault. During lockdown a friend of mine was working in a local garden centre. Keeping the building checked & watering etc. The large car park was closed & a group of 10 odd young lads were meeting & riding round the car park. Eventually he had to speak to them & say they had to move on. He was worried they'd kick off but they all said 'sorry Mr' & 'thanks for letting us ride round'. He was delighted.

I don't like teens but DS isn't one yet so I don't know any personally. The ones I see hanging around where I live are vile though. Stealing bikes from younger kids on the park, anti social behaviour round town. Walked past a group of lads the other day and one of them called me "darling." Ugh. Probably depends on where you live unfortunately. Hopefully DS isn't a product of this environment.

I adore my 2 teenagers but I've found this stage by far to be the hardest stage of parenting. There are some very precious moments that I treasure but in general I have really struggled with this stage.

This thread has been a lovely read. I’ve got a toddler and a baby. They’re hard work but they’re so cute and I’ve always had a feeling of dread about the teenage years - like it’s inevitable that they’ll suddenly turn into demons and hate us and I’ll be sobbing in a corner wondering where my beautiful babies went. It’s nice to know it doesn’t have to be like that.

I was a hideous teenager - but the older I get, the more I see that that was largely down to substandard parenting.

@quickscribble mine didn’t go through the terrible two’s and although she was a bit moody pre-teen, my DD has been amazing since she hit her teens.
This week when I had to work late, she cleaned downstairs and decluttered the kitchen so I could have a nice Mother’s Day. I’ve been really struggling to keep on top of everything so it was the best present I could have had.

I have to say though that none of the reasons that I find parenting teenagers hard is their fault. It's mainly that they both have autism and dc2 has mental health problems as well. They both struggle to exist in a world that is geared up for NT people and tbh I struggle with parenting 2 disabled teenagers while trying to allow them to be as independent as possible.

You're welcome to have mine today op

I wish I felt this way but I live near a secondary school and they truly are vile I hate going out when I know they are leaving school and I avoid getting the bus because I know how awful they are

Yeah my teen is pretty amazing. I was a bit peeved at her lack of interest in mothers day yesterday, to start with but TBH she's pretty amazing.
I've been admitted into hospital today, she told me , don't worry I'll sort out getting myself home from school, should I pick up dinner for me and dad? Ended up going to a friends and dad collected her, then she came to thd hospital to see me, not before asking if I needed anything from the shop.

She's an amazing person, I'm often very proud of her. I don't know how she is like she is

Yes, I absolutely love teenagers these days, they are so supportive of eachother, obviously there are bad eggs but way fewer than when I was a teen.

My 14 year old is a joy! He was teaching his younger brother earlier this evening how to make a pot noodle. I bought him two because he's been under the weather with covid, and he shared them. Oh my heart!

I also adore giving him and his friends lifts. They are all so mature, I find it hilarious (not out loud obvs)

YANBU at all.
I loved mine as teens. Fantastic years.

They are awesome. And it's amazing to see how responsible and caring they are to each other. How much fun they can be and, simply, energising to have around.
And polite too!

I wont pretend there haven't been many challenges - mine are 19.17.13 and it's me and them - covid was very tough BUT I am hugely proud of the young women they are becoming - I have 2 off to uni in Sept - and it's going to be so hard with them not around - and quiet (and no lifts everywhere) but they are so smart and funny and eager to learn and see the world - I'm excited for them.
God help the baby who will be stuck with me! She goes out now with her mates so she's also leaving fast!
I work with teens who have been through some god awful things - I never fail to be impressed by them even the angry ones - teens are indeed awesome.

DD is y10 and I've recently started getting to know the friends she's made in the last couple of years. They are the nicest bunch of young men: interesting; kind; funny; curious. They talk about their college plans and books they've read and politics. They play chess and card games and go on long walks. They're just brilliant company and I feel glad to know them.

I work with challenging teens and they can be VERY hard work but if you find a chink in the armour, they have a huge amount to offer.

Agree. I have a 16 year old and a 15 year old . They’re both lovely, polite and respectful.