To think most teens are actually pretty fab?

[NeedAHoliday2021]

My dc are getting older (10-14) and I’m loving this age of independence, hanging out together and moments of real closeness. It’s not just them, their friends are lovely, friendly, polite. There’s moments of hormones but they support each other. I love watching them grow and have enjoyed every stage but everyone always tells me teens is where that stop and they’ll be a nightmare.

Am I alone in actually liking teens? Not just my own. Some teens are dicks but so are some adults. Most are nice though aren’t they? This is prompted by multiple Fb posts realising dc are going to secondary and parents are yearning for their babies back. I just don’t feel like that.

Great on an individual basis. Intolerable in groups.

@MrsTerryPratchett

I've worked with 'challenging' teens and the vast majority are absolute poppets given the opportunity and if you have a consistently positive story about them to them.

They're like a basket of excitable puppies when together.

I get very protective over my challenging teens in school, esp from locals who dub them ‘naughty’

Yes they are especially when they have a supportive family and good friends.

Many teenagers have terrible issues with hormonal changes and do come out the other side.

I don’t know many teenagers but am in awe of some I come across during work.

Some come on our helpline interpreting for their parents. Although we use a proper interpreter you can tell just from the start the help that they are already giving.

Also at 16 or 18 there are children now young adults that have been carers sometimes for quite a while. There may be some support in place but often there is extra (or just not enough). I can’t imagine what lockdown was like for them.

Lovely thread

I love them . I have been a second way school teacher for 29 years and the kids are the only reason I stay . There’s a saying in teaching , “no one resigns because of the kids “ ( it’s the admin and senior leaders not the teens .)

Mine is adorable, all six foot of gangly limbs of him.

I mean, teens have their tough moments but so do babies and no-one wants to ban babies from the park and the shops do they? Teens have it tough but they put their feet on the ground every day and go out into a world they don't yet have the wisdom to understand. Wee heroes the lot of them.

We love ours. Adore them. And their friends. They've had a shitty couple of years (two DSs 18 and 16) due to the pandemic and have coped with unimaginable disruption to their education and social lives. But they've come out the other side and are excited about the possibilities in front of them.
Yeah they're messy and need pushing to study, spend too much time online, are sometimes truculent and can be grumpy, impatient and sooo disorganised but they're incredible company, funny, insightful, smart, caring, compassionate, generous, sweet and utterly delightful.

@CorneliusVetch

Well this is lovely to read! Mine are younger and I’ve been dreading the teenage years but maybe I shouldn’t

Same! A reassuring thread. Mumsnet fills me with nothing but dread!

YANBU My teens are ace.

I love spending time with them, they take the piss out of me like no one else and it’s always fun, lively and optimistic

I’ve loved every stage in its own way but teens are especially fun as they start venturing out into the world, often fucking it up, but still always an adventure

@EmeraldShamrock1

Yes they are especially when they have a supportive family and good friends.

Many teenagers have terrible issues with hormonal changes and do come out the other side.

I think having supportive families and friends is really important.

After working with kids whose challenging behaviour is mostly a product of really bad parenting.

What a lovely thread! My DD is 9, so I have all this to look forward to. I’ve definitely enjoyed parenting more as she’s got older.

Yeah my teens are great. I still miss the little them though

I was a secondary school teacher and taught thousands of teens in my time. I loved working with them; they were not the reason I left teaching, they were the reason I stayed as long as I did. By far the biggest majority of teens I taught were lovely and I think of them fondly. (Sometimes I Facebook stalk them to see what they're up to). I can count on one hand the ones I disliked, who are probably now really mean adults.

I've now got my own young teenager and puberty has hit hard. He has said some hurtful things on occasion, but even so most of the time he's lovely and he's still a nice person.

Totally agree, my dd is nearly 18 and off to uni in September and I’ll miss her - and her lovely friends. I picked up ds and his best mate (15) on Sat and hadn’t seen the mate for a while. His voice has broken and he’s grown about 3 inches but he’s still the same boy ds met when he was 6. They both sang loudly to my 2000s playlist and chattered about the plot of the film they’d just seen.

I think it’s true to say that the low points with teens are much harder as the issues and ramifications are bigger, but most of the time teens is my favourite age so far.

I am mum to a 13, 15 & 17 year old - love it. It's hard work sometimes but they are all strong, independent minded human beings and I love being their mum.

I agree. I have quite a few teens in my family and they’re amazing. As for teens in groups, I’ve been helped out a couple of times by teens in groups. They were really thoughtful and genuine.

Yes mine are great - never rude or give me any trouble bar worry about their social struggles (both high functioning autistic) but even that is getting better. DD is 17 and DS 15 and I love their company.

Agree - they're idealistic, full of optimism, and really care about the world and each other.

When I look at the mess that our current bunch of fuckwit politicians (and therefore half-witted voters) has made of this country I find any piddling criticism of teens to be utterly laughable. They actually give me hope, which is a lot more than I can say for my generation or the one above.

This is a nice thread.

Those with pleasant teens, were they nice two year olds as well?

Neither of mine went through the terrible twos phase, I'm hoping they won't be awful teens either?! 🤞

I like the teen stage but I’m also a little sad as I my eldest is now at uni so don’t see him much. I know I only have limited time with my other two teens before they go off to uni.

It’s so nice to feel I’m not alone. I read on here about awful teen behaviour and posters reply saying it’s normal… it’s just not what I’ve seen. Mind you, my dh is fab and mn suggests most are awful judging by the Mother’s Day threads.

Out of all the ages and stages we've got to (my eldest is 15), teens are possibly one of the easiest, IME! Not without challenge, of course, sometimes they drive me mental. BUT - I am not doing it whilst sleep deprived, being required to give 100% of my attention, juggling tiny children etc. I can reason with them, they understand our explanations for our parenting choices properly.

My teens are funny, kind, empathetic, clever, great fun to be with. We can joke with them, take them all sorts of places and not worry that they're going to humiliate us in public etc. I love watching them grow into young people, finding out about themselves, experiencing new things and so on.

Teens are great. I used to see people say so when I had toddlers and think they were insane, it couldn't possibly be easier to have teenagers: I dreaded it. You couldn't pay me to have toddlers again!

Completely agree- mine are 16 and 14 and they are wonderful- funny, clever, great company, interesting conversationalists, thoughtful and appreciative.

I’ve enjoyed every stage as well.

Yes I agree, I used to teach age 11-16 and they were generally great. I always said it was never the kids that were the problem, it was the adults in management why I left! It was a large comp in a very deprived area so not a selective private school with perfect grades and perfect behaviour either, but the kids were so much more welcoming and supportive to each other than I remember in my own days at secondary. There were really no cliques or big gangs or 'mean girls' stuff going on, and only very rarely stereotypical 'teenage' behaviour that just needed a firm word or friendly ear. Generally they all just wanted to get through the day, not do something embarrassing, and get their prom outfits and GCSEs. I actually really miss being around them day to day. Not the reams of paperwork, but just that spark that a lot of teens have about them. Always something new to chat about and learn from them.